msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 My ex is with a new girlfriend who is only a bit younger than me (one of his reasons why he left me was that if he wanted kids in the future i'd be too old). He's been seeing her a few weeks and we've only been broken up for 3 months yesterday, together for nearly 3yrs. He only called me a couple of weeks ago cryin sayin he missed me etc etc. What do you make of this???? I'm pretty gutted to tell you the truth. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 He's moved on. It sucks but time to pick up the pieces and move on yourself. Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 It does suck, it just seems so soon. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 3 months or 12 months it will always seem "too soon" if you haven't moved on yourself. Atleast he actually waited, my ex was with someone BEFORE we actually broke up they ended up getting married not even a month after we ended things. Yea, that hurt. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I can understand a few days/weeks after a breakup if someone decides to jump on the dating wagon can it only ever be rebounds. But, it has been months since it happened, and maybe he decided to let go of the past and start to move on. Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Yeah i guess it only seems so soon for me cos he was still calling me until i changed my number a couple of weeks ago. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Yeah i guess it only seems so soon for me cos he was still calling me until i changed my number a couple of weeks ago. You changed your number so maybe he took that as an initiative and decided to move on? Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 I had to cos he kept drunk calling and crying, saying he missed me and sorry he treated me so badly etc etc, then in the morning saying he shouldnt have called and it was a mistake, It was heartbreaking, and it turns out he was seeing her then! She broke up with him over it but now they are together again. Its just me i guess. I really want to move on and stop harping on and hurting so much. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 What do you make of this???? I'm pretty gutted to tell you the truth. I don't mean to sound harsh but it doesn't matter what we try to make of it. I know you want to analyse the situation, most of us at some point have tried to do that but at the end of the day he is with someone else. It may not last, no-one can predict love, but until it ends you have to accept that he has moved on and try to do the same. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Yeah its really hard. Just wish i didnt have to see them. My son saw them today and was pretty cheesed off, he lived with us for 2yrs, so my kids were used to havin him around too. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 It sucks for you and definitely sucks for your kids but you need to explain to them that it doesn't make him a bad person for moving on. They can't look at him like some kind of monster because you two are no longer together. Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 No they dont, they are a bit older and understand. I think they just feel a bit odd about him being with someone else. They loved him too in there own ways. Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hey you! Well it is going to sting a bit that he is seeing someone else, particularly as she is nearer your age and he always said that he wanted someone younger. It doesn't sound like his relationship is particularly healthy - it never is when you stumble from one relationship to the next, so I don't expext it will last. Hell, they have already broken up once. But at the end of the day, he wasn't good for you, was he? He is someone else's problem now and there will come a time when you are greatful he is out of your way. Keep your head held high darling - don't let this get you down, because you know you deserve someone so much better than this. I hope you can keep walking forward - we are all here to support you, you know that. Mark Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 The problem with engaging contact from an ex is that it provides them comfort, which they use to move forward, while you're left with your unhealed wounds ripped open again. Not a good bargain, and I'm sorry you were burned by it. I can appreciate how difficult this must be for you, and my heart goes out to you. In your corner. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Sorry to hear about this, and your son being upset. I agree this guy seems quite mixed up, especially the drunken phone call followed by a potential 'sticking plaster' relationship. People say when you get drunk you say what you actually mean but no counsellor would really agree with that - and the next day he got back with his new person. Carry on moving on, he has and he's in the past. Doesn't matter about his new relationship. How old is your son? I've been there before and thankfully it enabled me and my kids to get closer by focussing on them for a while as I healed. Good luck. Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 My son is 12. It just sucks and i feel like i'm stuck. Stuck wanting the person he's never gonna be. We split up once before and it took us just under 3 months to get back together, so i guess if i'm really honest with myself, i've still been holding out hope he'll come back. Stupid i know but i've really wanted this, keep telling myself he wont come back, but something inside me always thinks he will. thats why learning he really is in this relationship has really knocked me for six, cos now i have to face it that he doesnt love me or even think of me anymore. Although the other day he found out about my couple of dates, told a friend that that was why i changed my number and that the guy had been there in the background when we were together (100% not true), went straight up to the gym and cancelled my membership which we had together, and has booked the dog into kennels when he goes on holiday and wont let me have her!! cool! My friend asked why he was bothered if he was seeing another girl, he just 'huh, yes i am seein someone' and thats it. Just dont know how to change my way of thinking, i REALLY do want to be over this. Link to comment
player678 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 It will be difficult to change your way of thinking especially as this has happened before so you might be kind of waiting for the 3 month period and hoping things will change. Doesn't look likely now though. Just take each day at a time and best of luck. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hey, my son is 12 as well. He kind of stepped up to be the 'man of the house' and at 12 they know a lot more than we think they do Just purely on the basis that he's lost respect for your ex (and rightly) should help to keep you strong. The phone stuff he may see as * * * for tat as he heard about your dates first, but putting your dog into boarding kennels is a bit childish. Keep your distance if you can and keep your family and friends around you for support. Get some 'me time' and spend time with your children. Your hurt will diminish in time, honestly, *hugs* Link to comment
nem69 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 my ex only took under 2 months. It does suck but you have to move on , they have. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.