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"Love hurts" starring you and your ex...

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So... ever heard anyone say that life is a movie and that you should just sit back and watch etc. So i thought i would apply that to how im feeling about my break up at the moment.


Look back on your relationship and break up as a movie, dramatic wasnt it! But wow you were part of that! Love the parts when things were amazing between you, be happy but most of all be proud about those times you were selfless and gave your all to that person (you deserve an oscar!), be angry at the parts if you were wronged and cry at the sad parts... cry like hell, this movie has a sad ending!


But then realise the credits have rolled... you need to leave the movie theatre! its time to go, but remember to take your empty drink cup, empty popcorn bag or sweet wrapper with you and put it in the bin! You must take any rubbish you have with you and put it in the bin! Oh yes, you guessed it, all that rubbish is a metaphor for bad feeling, jealousy, regret, anger, etc!


Ok so movie theatres have ushers to clean up your rubbish yeah? But in this movie theatre (your head/heart) guess what? No ushers are coming to clean up the crap, why? Cos there is only one person working here, and thats you! You are the manager, the usher, the guy at the hot dog counter and the girl at the ice cream stand. If you dont put that crap in the bin then it will still be there tomorrow, next week, next month...


your going to miss that movie though arent you, the happy parts were great! You loved them! You want to watch that film over and over... even the sad parts. But come on, it would be expensive to watch that film over and over everyday. Going to the movies is not free! Going to watch that film every day would come at a cost to you... so dont do it.


You know whats going to happen in about 4-5 months? That film is going to come out on DVD! So wait, in fact, wait a few months longer as then the DVD will be much cheaper! Then when and only when you can afford it buy the DVD. DVD's have special features, sometimes directors commentary that will help you read between the lines of the film you watched all those months back in the cinema. You will see the film in a whole different light with hindsight!


oh and did you watch the film till the end of the credits? Was there an extra scene that suggested a sequel?! Is there going to be a sequel?! hmmmm how often are sequels as good as the original, not often, its often like flogging a dead horse and not very good and it will cost you to go and watch a bad sequel! But you know what makes sequels amazing!? When they take all the best bits of the original but then add extra new and fresh ideas that enrich and make the sequel that much more amazing!


Dont think the sequel is going to be any good? Then cast your mind back to watching this film in the cinema, remember before the film started there were trailers for new movies? Well they are on there way! they may not have been released yet, but how amazing did they look?! Especially that one with a happy ending, you know, that one with the two people truly meant to be together? Hmmmm hang on a minute, the main star in that film looks extremely familiar...





ok so that was just a bit of fun. But after a few weeks of being on these boards, whilst all our situations and mental states are unique, I really do think it does boil down to how we feel about ourselves, you cant get over your ex without getting over your own heart/head!


Its about finding ourselves again and regaining that self-respect, dignity and poise at some point! Its about being able to comfortably let yourself become that single person again, the one that was so amazing to attract your ex (and others) in the first place!


In order to truly move on you have to honestly be able to wish your ex all the best for now, you must be able to forgive yourself and them (even cheating, but dont forget) for any wrong doing in the past, rise above it all, look to the future and embrace it! Its your future!


If you want your ex back then this is the only way, you can stick to NC and LC without being rude, just dont do them any favours, live your life for you and dont jump if they say jump! Most reconciliation must come after extended NC/LC when both parties see the old relationship as just that, an old relationship! Not something either of them wish to re-kindle! Starting over, means starting over with something new and fresh and exciting! You can only get that excitement back by letting go of the past!


Most reconciliation can only come when both people see the past as just something that happened in their life, rather than a painful daily reminder of loss, regret, sadness, loneliness, anger etc. You have to get to the stage where your ex is just a part of your past rather than a thorn in your side that brings sadness.


Only you can make yourself get there, some of our ex's will seek reconciliation, some wont, but above everything, we will be ok about it all! Ready for whatever is next...


Id love to be able to say im there, im not. But i think i know what i have to do, but boy do i miss her and the happy times!

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"Most reconciliation must come after extended NC/LC when bes see the old relationship as just that, an old relationship! Not something either of them wish to re-kindle! Starting over, means starting over with something new and fresh and exciting! You can only get that excitement back by letting go of the past!"


Very important point and something I really needed to hear right now


Thnk you for the wisdom!

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