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Maybe I was not born to it...


Gladiatus

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12 Reasons You Can Find Love
12 Reasons You Can Find Love

I am 19 years old guy who never has a girlfriend or anything like that. I often wondered whether I was made for it since nobody seems to have ever liked me. When I approach girls they often looks at me with a kind of disgusts and people always find me strange.

 

Are there some people who was just not made for love?

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I feel you. well, maybe it's not the same thing, because girls think I'm attractive and I've had girlfriends before, but I've never been loved--just always used for sex. and I hate it.

 

I'm still waiting for my girl to someday come up, and we'll have long nights of cuddling and kissing, without sex hopefully.

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my boyfriend was 19, never dated before, when I came up and snagged him. hohoho.

but seriously 19 isn't that old, don't worry about it. I thought it was awesome that he'd never dated before!

 

if girls really have disgust on their faces when you approach, either your approach is wrong or you're imagining the disgust. maybe their faces just look like that!

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My bf is 21, never had a gf, never kissed a girl, never did anything with a girl prior to me. He thought similar things as you do until I came along. He was shocked that I didn't have the look of disgust when I met him, which I try not do to anyone cause I think it's rude, but I did find him strange. I love that he is strange! That is what drew me to him.

 

You're still young and you have not yet met the world full of girls waiting for a guy like you. Many of them will be the one. It just takes time to weed through them. In the mean time, work on yourself to make yourself feel better and keep your strangeness, that is what makes you unique.

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My approach? I don't know...it is just saying hi and stuff like that. But for some reason girls always looks at me with this "get-away-from-me-look" or "why-are-you talking-to-me-look". And they all do it. Maybe I am just ugly or something...

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My approach? I don't know...it is just saying hi and stuff like that. But for some reason girls always looks at me with this "get-away-from-me-look" or "why-are-you talking-to-me-look". And they all do it. Maybe I am just ugly or something...

 

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Not only do most girls do this, but the younger ones are especially guilty of it. Wait a few years for them to mature a bit. You'll still get the stalker look quite frequently so you just need to learn to brush it off.

 

Also IME women almost never let it be known that they like you when dating.

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I wouldn't worry about it too much. Not only do most girls do this, but the younger ones are especially guilty of it. Wait a few years for them to mature a bit. You'll still get the stalker look quite frequently so you just need to learn to brush it off.

 

Also IME women almost never let it be known that they like you when dating.

 

Then why do they look different when they look at other people?

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What do you look like? Do you seem like a creep? I can't imagine why anyone would give anyone that look unless the other person is obviously a creep. How is your posture? What are you doing that gives off this creep vibe?

 

I don't give guys that look - nor do most people i know, at all, unless they go ehehehe nice rack sugahh.. or something like that. if they just said hi, i smile and say hi back.

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I am 19 years old guy who never has a girlfriend or anything like that. I often wondered whether I was made for it since nobody seems to have ever liked me. When I approach girls they often looks at me with a kind of disgusts and people always find me strange.

 

Are there some people who was just not made for love?

 

People are, and act as, what they imagine themselves to be.

 

Unless you're completely on the outskirts of what is socially acceptable, are you sure that its that girls look at you with disgust and find you strange... or that you, no matter on how subconscious a level, expect them to do so?

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What do you look like? Do you seem like a creep? I can't imagine why anyone would give anyone that look unless the other person is obviously a creep. How is your posture? What are you doing that gives off this creep vibe?

 

I don't give guys that look - nor do most people i know, at all, unless they go ehehehe nice rack sugahh.. or something like that. if they just said hi, i smile and say hi back.

 

I get it all the time. Though I do seem to get it less now then before. I've noticed it is especially true of younger girls. The 18-21 set is particularly bad about it. If they are wearing something revealing, I'm pretty much guaranteed to get it. Maybe it's because I'm actually looking at their face and not where they want people to look.

 

Either way, I get it quite often when I go out of my way to hold a door open for someone. I've gotten it when I went over to help someone pickup junk they had dropped. Or when I went over to ask if they were okay just after they had tripped...

 

I chalk it up to chance and youthful idiocy. I'm sure I've inadvertently given off that same sort of vibe, especially when I've been embarrassed. As I've gotten older I've become more conscious of how I might be coming off as standoffish.

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Well, perhaps it is just my imagination but still...girls "seems" that they want to stay away from me. Often when I say hi none of them really responds. I don't know...I think I dress normaly and do what any average person does but girls still seems to dislike me...

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I'd say it's body language. This includes posture, foot positioning, facial expressions, eyeballs, and arm and hand gestures. It just says too much. Usually when you're not confident and shy, you use language suggesting uncomfortability, which is the same as a person feeling negative. On initial contact, it can be taken to mean you can't be trusted.

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Ok, so this is what you suggest:

 

I need to change my posture, foot positioning, facial expression, eyeballs, and my arm and hand gestures. I also need to change my language. Plus, I should go after girls who are at least 22 years old.

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Maybe you're too much. I'd be surprised if someone came over and asked me if I were ok after I tripped. Be polite, but not too polite. It's weird.

 

Well in that case she went down pretty hard and I was pretty close. I didn't think it weird at all...

 

Ok, so this is what you suggest:

 

I need to change my posture, foot positioning, facial expression, eyeballs, and my arm and hand gestures. I also need to change my language. Plus, I should go after girls who are at least 22 years old.

 

Haha, now that's a lot to think about. I'd start by being more observant. You'll find lots of situations where people are uncomfortable. Try to notice why they are and why it was unnecessary for them to be so.

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Ok, so this is what you suggest:

 

I need to change my posture, foot positioning, facial expression, eyeballs, and my arm and hand gestures. I also need to change my language. Plus, I should go after girls who are at least 22 years old.

 

I really think this is just a comfort thing. Are you really comfortable approaching girls? I would probably say not... body language is so subtle but it can reveal how comfortable you are in a situation without you realizing it and yes, you can try to change your body language, but as long as you're not comfortable, it'll betray you somehow.

 

As a girl - I can somehow tell when a guy approaches me whether he is scared of women or not, whether he does this on a regular basis and how he expects me to react. And I hate to say it - but if it seems like he's unsure I find it to be a turn off.

 

Perhaps what you should do is go to the bookstore and skim a guide to picking up women - you don't have to take it too serious (nor should you) but I've read these book and I agree with a lot of the tips and suggestions that they give you to approach women (and people in general), and I think that just having that knowledge in general will make you more self confident. Then just go out and practice and start talking to girls - everywhere - the bookstore, on the bus, in line - just make casual friendly conversation. After a while, it will become a habit and something that you do automatically.

 

Then, when you're in see that girl that you really like and are in a high pressure situation, the habit part will do a part of the work for you so you'll feel less pressure, be and act more confident (and as a result, probably funnier and more interesting) and much less likely to get rejected.

 

Hope this helps.

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I feel the same. Girls don't really come toward me either, and I'm too shy to do anything about it. I'm 16, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl/been kissed by a girl. I don't see any of that happening anytime soon, either...oh well, that's life.

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As a girl - I can somehow tell when a guy approaches me whether he is scared of women or not, whether he does this on a regular basis and how he expects me to react. And I hate to say it - but if it seems like he's unsure I find it to be a turn off.

I have approached women like this before (more times than not I do agree women seem to hate it. I think if the guy is nervous, then it makes the girl nervous and it's all downhill from there.

 

I've found that the times I was able to approach someone quickly before I had a chance to think about it, it usually turned out better. I don't have time to build up any anxiety thinking about exactly what I might say. I guess it's kind of like a boxer coming out punching. It puts the other person on their heels. Then they are the one that has to come up with something to say.

 

And thinking about this more, it doesn't only apply to meeting women. If I want to ask where something is in a store and I wait to ask, then I am more nervous about asking. If I walk in the store and walk directly to the first employee I see and ask right away, then there is no nervousness. (I know there shouldn't be any nervousness, but I'm slightly shy!)

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So you suggest that I should speak with completely strange girls who all will look at me with the "why-is-this-stranger-talking-to-me"-look?

It might be all about first impressions. If they see you standing around for 5 minutes, then you decide to say something, it looks like you decided to go out of your way to say something. But if you say something when you first see a girl, then she thinks you are just a friendly outgoing guy.

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