I broke NC, what do I do now?

[sirubi]

I posted my story few days ago, and most people suggested me to do NC. But I broke it yesterday NC is just too painful for me.

 

To make the story short (or you can search my thread). My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he hasn't got over his ex. I know I shouldn't have contacted him, but yesterday I was near his office (we are 2 hr-driving distance) for a business trip, I still miss him so much, so I left him a msg asking if he wanted to have casual lunch. I was actually surprised that he called me back.

 

During the lunch, we talked about work, friends, my trip etc, but not us. When I told him an award I just got, he congratulated me by kissing my hand. Before he went back to his office, I said "goodbye, I don't think I am coming down anytime soon, so this is probably the last time I saw you" he said "don't say that, you'll come down, or I'll go visit you" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!!!!???? i just smiled and said "don't do that, don't come visit me"

 

Now I am confused again, did he just say that to make me feel better? or he really wants to visit me but then why?

 

Also, when I joked about how he hasn't got over his ex, he joked "I don't like her, I hate her, I don't wanna deal with that kind of woman anymore" His ex is a very career-oriented woman, all she talks about is business, money, business, money...and she doesn't have any good female friends.

 

It's the second time he called it off for the same reason, I thought NC shouldn't be as painful for me, but still, I think about him everyday and it really hurts. I still wanna have this hope that we can start over one day when he really gets over his ex.

 

Can anyone tell me what he's thinking? and what I should do now? Please~~

[Ms Darcy]

I think people suggest cutting off contact to help others avoid situations like this ... when you want to get back together with someone, it's really easy to read what you want into their behavior. Just as an outsider, it sounds like he's not that into you. I mean, he dumped you for someone else ... he made his choice. If he somehow realized he made a mistake, he would have initiated contact with you, begged you to meet him, and clearly stated that he wanted to restart the relationship.

 

Anything less should mean nothing to you at all. We can't mind-read that he really wants you back and you shouldn't try. It sounds more reasonable to surmise that he wants to remain friends and that doing so will help him ease his guilt as he gets more serious with his ex. Again, if he wanted more than friendship, he would havesaid it. Sorry but it's true.

[Pixiedoc]

Yes, I'm afraid this is the typical friendship conversation, he's being as pleasant as possible and hoping you have got over him enough to swallow being his friend with no chance of reconciliation.

 

Lots of people go NC (as mentioned above) as they can't handle a friendship and don't want their ex to think they've forgiven them/got over them - kind of 'all or nothing' and especially because then you don't get dragged back in a no-hope yearning moment etc etc.

 

I would recommend NC and try to get through looking forward to a future that you couldn't have had with this man. Take care.