g84 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 How can I seem more approachable when I'm by myself? I know that if i'm with a friend i will be smiling/laughing a lot more, but when i'm alone, what can i do to send out a positive signal? All that i do is I try my best to not look stressed or angry lol. I used to have others telling me that I looked very serious/worried all the time, but since then i've changed a lot. I definitely think i appear a lot more calm when i'm out. The other thing that i do is i look around at people; i don't ever stare, but i observe the people around me and the environment. I do this because it helps me calm down if i happen to be feelings anxious in general. What else can i do, or is there nothing else? I guess i just want to make sure that i'm doing my best, and that i'm not unconsciously doing something that makes me appear isolated. Guys: if a girl is alone, what would make you feel most comfortable, and what would motivate you most to approach her? ..Or is there really no specific thing? I know that a few of my friends have been approached even when they were not at all in the mood for it lol. Link to comment
JenniferSNJ Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 This sounds weird, but I have two things. And I don't know if I'm actually approachable, so not sure if this helps. (1) I make an effort to not cross my arms. (2) I always wear a notable piece of something, usually a cool bracelet, because I noticed people will randomly comment on it and it kind of makes it easy to break the ice. Link to comment
g84 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 thanku, I guess i try my best to relax my arms and not cross them too often.. i don't think that i wear anything too flashy or noticeable though, lol. I don't know if this is a pointless thread that i made : (. Maybe there isn't really anything more that i need to do? I have a friend that was actually approached while she was on her cel phone talking with me, and she was completely stressed out and feeling bitter at the moment. So, how much do guys really care about signals? sigh lol Link to comment
JenniferSNJ Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 thanku, I guess i try my best to relax my arms and not cross them too often.. i don't think that i wear anything too flashy or noticeable though, lol. I don't know if this is a pointless thread that i made : (. Maybe there isn't really anything more that i need to do? I have a friend that was actually approached while she was on her cel phone talking with me, and she was completely stressed out and feeling bitter at the moment. So, how much do guys really care about signals? sigh lol I've actually been approached when I was on the phone too. weird. I'm not really sure what else there is to do. I hope someone else has something, I'd like to know as well. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I don't really know what you can do, people just approach those who seem most interesting to them. I've been approached on trains whilst wearing headphones, which I usually do (and play loud music) so that I am NOT approached, but sometimes people don't understand that I CAN'T HEAR THEM!! Hahaha. The only reasons I'm usually "approached" randomly is to be hit on by a drunkard or some lowlife, or to be asked for directions/a lighter/where's a good place to go hang out. Haha. I never get random men actually sincerely interested in me approaching me, and if I do, I usually ruin it by being shy and showing no interest. Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Where is it you are wanting to be approached? Makes a big difference. Link to comment
g84 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Where is it you are wanting to be approached? Makes a big difference. I'm not really sure..I guess any place. I wouldn't mind being approached in a store, or in the metro/subway. From what my friends have experienced, it seems like it can happen anywhere. Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Yes, it can happen anywhere, but there is really no good way to be approachable in some places like the subway. In fact, for your own safety, don't try to make yourself too approachable on public transportation while alone Generally, stay still, move from place to place very very slowly. For example, in the grocery store, stay in front of one area like you are browsing stuff for several minutes, same in other stores, book stores, etc. So many women move around really fast and then wonder why they never get approached. As romantic as the movies make it, most guys won't approach if they feel they have to chase a girl down to get her attention. If a desirable looking guy is near, look his way, if your eyes meet, give a little "greeting" type smile and nod. Usually this is all it will take. Link to comment
g84 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 thanku, i think i will try to do that more often. I don't know if i've ever smiled at a random guy before lol (since i'm pretty shy). I guess i will try it some time.. Link to comment
maximus242 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Have something that makes it easy for a guy to start a conversation about. Something, a book, a piece of jewlery, something that a guy can break the ice with. If you just look normal with nothing unique then its harder. Smiling and eye contact are the most important things. If you do something flirty like give him a little wave or something, thatll almost guarantee he will approach you if you have eye contact. The stronger the eye contact the better. Some guys are also just nervous approaching women, having interesting things for him to start a conversation with you about, things to make a comment on, etc. Makes it easier for him. Smiling helps a LOT. A core fear guys have is that they are reading your signals the wrong way and if they approach, you might blow them off and make them look stupid. So, the better you eliminate that fear, the more you will get approached. Having an empty seat beside you also helps. Have your legs crossed, you will look hotter that way. Have your back straight, hair down, flowing, accentuate your neck. Wear fashionable clothing. There are a lot of average looking girls who look really hot because they know how to dress really well, how to apply make up really well (less is better than more) and have great hairstyles. The easiest way to get approached more is by looking sexier. However, if you look like a model out of Maxim, a lot of guys wont approach because they are thinking either "she wont want me" or "she probably has a 250 pound boyfriend whos gonna put a gun to my head". I usually talk to those girls anyways haha but most guys just stare thinking about approaching her but not doing it. This is true for average looking girls to, some guys just stare wanting to approach her but not being able to do it, as if some invisible force field prevents them from doing so. The hardest thing is for a guy to start a conversation without risking having the woman be rude and making him look bad or feel bad. This is why stupid things like asking for the time are liked, if your rude then he can just be like, I only wanted to know what the time was - and if your nice he can just go into a deeper conversation. The more direct a guy is, the more confidence he usually has. And FYI, I have approached women and then had their 250 pound boyfriends try to kick my ass. Never actually got my ass kicked, but something to remember, to guys, they are literately risking their lives when they approach women. Never know when big angry gorilla man is around the corner... Link to comment
noneStar Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Guys: if a girl is alone, what would make you feel most comfortable, and what would motivate you most to approach her? I am definitely not the type of guy that approaches random strangers, like really people do that? so I have no experience with this, but I am thinking that you have so send positive signals like smiling and making eye contact. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I am definitely not the type of guy that approaches random strangers, like really people do that? so I have no experience with this, but I am thinking that you have so send positive signals like smiling and making eye contact. Yep same - I mean I know what signals I'll like, but to actually go and approach someone is a big, not to mention public, step. (continued) because ... I'm not really sure..I guess any place. I wouldn't mind being approached in a store, or in the metro/subway. From what my friends have experienced, it seems like it can happen anywhere. Posting in this thread because I just got back from dinner alone at a (pretty empty) cafe/restaurant and I keep saying here or at least to myself as a guy working towards "something", and whilst the situation didn't, never has, and probably never will occur, I don't think I could physically approach even if she was smiling pretty big - in the restaurant situation anyway. Just waaayy too out in the open if you know what I mean. Link to comment
g84 Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 thanks maximus, and you two guys ^ I see what you guys mean, though. It must seem/feel awkward to approach a random person.. Link to comment
Kinetics Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 It's funny I can actually tell myself when I am approachable or not. Totally depends what mood I'm in. When I'm in a good mood, I can keep an eye contact with the ladies. If I have the chance to approach them, I would. Never been a fan of the bar/club scene though, and oftentimes I feel uneasy when other people I know are watching me, like I'm in a reality show. I'm actually better when I'm alone, so it's really up to me to make myself approachable or not. And this goes outside of dating, but it seems I am the one being approached when someone is lost. I don't know why among all the random people walking, they would think I am helpful (and I actually try to be). If only this lead to better things like maybe a potential date...cest la vie Link to comment
hope of ray Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Sweet heart you are not at all moody rather i would say you act like a rubber band with H. when men act like rubberband it means they are in love with that women. its universal law. so you are in love with H. Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 If you get in the habit of engaging strangers in non-sexual conversation, after awhile it gets much easier to approach the opposite sex, or to send out an "approachable" vibe. They are just people after all. Link to comment
Creative Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Most guys flock to pretty girls, so be pretty Also, give the guy a reason to talk to you. Really depends on your environment and how good you take advantage of it. Link to comment
taxi10 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 I can give you a pointer - try to be yourself and smile at any guy you think it is interesting ! but don't overdo it and do it places where you feel safe. I am a male and I was once approached by a girl - she asked me what time it was!!... and we ended up in a long hours of conversation. Avoid listening music or reading newspaper - explore the area with your eyes. Good luck Link to comment
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