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im deeply in love, and so is she, but she doesnt want to see me anymore


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so heres the situation.

i am bisexual, and i know that i am in love.

i am still in my teens, but i know its love, and its not the type of teen love.

it is the i would die for you, kind of love.

the way i feel about her is indescribable, but just so amazing, and so confusing

we are both incredibly in love with eachother, and happier than ever,

sometimes i feel like she is way too good for me, shes the most gorgeous person, and perfect at everything. shes smart, funny, sweet, and just pure amazing...

keep in mind, weve never made out, weve kissed eachother so many times, we hold eachother, and hold hands


thats not the story, but this is.

yesterday we went to go watch a movie and after we went out to get ice creamm. when we got back to her house she told me she thinks it would be better if we stop seeing eachother, because shes holding me back from too many things, such as friends, and etc. and she thinks its better for both of us. we cried in eachothers arms, and i havent talked to her since. i just wouldnt know what to do, if she really meant it. shes the only person that can hold me together.

i dont know if i should call her, stop by her house and talk to her, or just give her the time that she wants.

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what does this have to do with being bisexual? and how does she mean it'll be better for both of you?

ahh you remind me of those 'breakups' I had, where we both still intensely loved each other but ~believed it was for the greater good~. then we grew up and quickly realized how silly we were being. love is grand, and not to be ignored! talk to her. ask her what she really wants. what does she, concretely, mean by 'better'?

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aha it doesnt have anything to do with it, i just thought i should put that out there.

well she didnt tell me why she thought it would be better for both us. all she said was that it would get my life back on track, and it would help her get started with her career, and things that actually matter for the future.

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yeah, I used that lame excuse too. like "we need to focus on school right now". has she, by any chance, never dated before? I know I didn't want a relationship because I didn't know what it entailed, and would rather avoid it than find out. even though I really liked that person. luckily I came to my senses, but... good luck.

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She's either scared of the seriousness of your relationship and is kind of running away from it, or she just doesn't have the heart to be more honest and say that *she* wants to explore other aspects of her life more fully. Find out which one it is by asking her directly. Sometimes people say "this will be better for you" because they can't say "this will be better for me". Other times young couples get nervous about how their feeling and bail.

Talk to her and let us know what happens!

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yes she's dated before. we've both dated before. shes dated woman, and men. but ive only dated men, and shes the first girl, and the only reason why i came to the conclusion that i am bisexual.


well what im thinking, is why would she be scared, because she told me she doesnt care if people know about us, im the one that does. and since shes already dated woman, this shouldnt be new to her. although shes never been in love, besides being in love with me. and i know she does love me, and i love her, i just dont know why shes doing this. shes never the one to hurt me, im usually the one that causes our problems. i feel shes doing this for a really good reason, because shes a very smart person, and doesnt make wrong decisions, but either shes too embarrassed to tell me, or too scared to.


im also thinking she might have said it because she gets jelouse that i have another life besides just being with her. i have other friends, and i feel shes jelouse also because of the fact that i have a boyfriend, and a lot of guys flirt with me.

i know i didnt mention i have a boyfriend in the beginning , but i do.

the only people who know about our relationship, iss me and her.

im just caught up in a really weird, and confusinng situation.

i dont even like my boyfriend, im not attracted to him what so ever, when we kiss, all i can think about is kissing her. and when we do sexual things, i do them for his pleaasure, i cant get turned on by guys anymore.

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Well, then this all makes perfect sense now. She doesn't want to be a secret, and frankly neither would I. If you have a boyfriend and don't want to admit to anyone that you have anything going with her, then she feels that you need to give your public life more attention and she wants out. I can't really blame her. Sorry.

Put yourself in her shoes....would you wait in hiding to steal away a few hours with someone or focus on people and situations that weren't trying to hide who you really are? She did the right thing for both of you. Maybe you'll realize it's time to own up to what you really want. Or, she'll be able to move on and find someone who isn't trying to hide her.

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yeah ive considered this before. i was thinking of asking her if she would ever like to take things to the next level, and maybe have a real relationship, so i could break up with him, and i could let us out. i would love for people to know, im just scared for the process of it, and letting it out. im not embaressed of her at all, i love what we have,


so i think what im going to do is tell her all of this. that was amazing advice. thank you so much


but what if that wasnt the case..? and she said that for another reason.

but besides the fact, should i let my boyfriend know im in love with her, or just that ive fallen for someone else.

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You say you want to ask her if she wants a relationship "so that you can break up with him". Break up with him b/c you're not attracted to him, don't like him, don't enjoy kissing him and think about someone else when you're with him!! You don't need her permission to break up with him. Maybe she's looking for a little more strength from you. I would expect more from a potential partner. Break up with him and THEN tell her where/when/why you did it....because your heart is with her and you want to go public with your relationship. You can tell your boyfriend whatever feels right but really you should be able to break up with him for the several reasons you cited whether or not she'll take you back. She may have done you a big favor by forcing you to examine your feelings and do the things you want for *you*....not to get her back or please her. You also have to stop thinking she's perfect, but we can save that for another day

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