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will you expect a guy you casually date to help you?


fatcat1999

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I think moving is more complicated than install a window AC.

 

anyway, how can you tell a guy cares about you if he's not at least offering to helping you out (within his capabilities). I mean, calling and txting and telling you how much he cares is easy to do, right? maybe i'm expecting too much, he's not my bf.

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I think moving is more complicated than install a window AC.

 

anyway, how can you tell a guy cares about you if he's not at least offering to helping you out (within his capabilities). I mean, calling and txting and telling you how much he cares is easy to do, right? maybe i'm expecting too much, he's not my bf.

 

I think you are expecting way too much. I would be very sceptical of a girl/woman expecting me to help her with such things. In part because it seems inappropriate (of course depending on how well you know each other) but also because it appears a little too helpless to me.

 

Generally, a guy cares about you if he likes spending time with you (without it necessarily leading to sex), listens to you, contacts you when you are not together, arranges dates/meetups, accepts you as you are etc.

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such as moving a heavy box, installing a AC window unit or fix some small things or moving?

 

If we were dating and he was handy sure!!!!

 

I've started dating again just to find someone to install my ceiling fan.

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thanks. this makes sense

 

I think you are expecting way too much. I would be very sceptical of a girl/woman expecting me to help her with such things. In part because it seems inappropriate (of course depending on how well you know each other) but also because it appears a little too helpless to me.

 

Generally, a guy cares about you if he likes spending time with you (without it necessarily leading to sex), listens to you, contacts you when you are not together, arranges dates/meetups, accepts you as you are etc.

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People don't like to feel used nor do they like help to be taken for granted. It's nice to offer but many men would not be happy with being presented with some form of 'honey do' list from someone they were casually dating especially if there were no form of reciprocation such as doing laundry.

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i think it's a cute way to 'ask a guy out' to show you the heavy boxes he can lift and show off his muscles. and like DN said, offer to make him dinner afterwards.

 

in the book, "Mars and Venus on a Date", the author actually suggests asking a man to help you out as a good way to ask out a man in the early stages of dating.

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I agree with DN... this is kind of like a guy saying, is it OK to expect someone i'm dating to do my laundry, make my bed etc. It's a sex biased issue, i.e., that he should do 'man' things because you're dating him. I'm sure you'd be highly insulted if some guy you were dating casually asked you to do his laundry every week because you're a girl.

 

He's not a beast of burden, and you're not the maid.

 

I think you can mention that you bought a new A/C unit and need to figure out how to install it this weekend, and if he's interested in helping, he may volunteer to help you. But don't ask him to do it directly.

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Not expect. I think it's expecting too much, and well personally it's also not in my personality (and grates under my skin) that whole "poor, helpless female me" bit. I'm proud that I can do most of those types of tasks myself.

 

If he volunteers, even then I'd take a moment to think about it. Whether it makes practical sense or not. Maybe do it together.

 

However, I do think it can be a really kind gesture when it's offered when you truly need it - and something I like. It's a whole other deal if he outright shows no regard for whether you are ok or not.

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My past boyfriends were always at their happiest working around my house or helping me with anything possible. They usually became upset when I said I could handle things myself, or that I'd pay someone to come over and do the work. It literally became a personal affront to them that I did NOT ask them. So I've learned to ask now and then for help so I don't appear too independent, which is also not liked very much by anyone I date.

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If I'm seeing someone casually, it's not a big deal.I help people out all the time. Some women don't have access to a truck, or muscles. Doesn't mean a thing to me to help them out.

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