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I give people *way* too much information.


jhinnako

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I'm not sure what's up with me--but I've always noticed it. When talking to people, even co-workers, but especially people I'm dating...I give way too much information out. As in, stuff most people would hide or keep quiet. Nothing shocking or disgusting, but things they don't necessarily need to know. Or personal stuff. Whenever something is going on in my life--I need to talk about it. I *need* too, so I'll end up telling my co-workers(again) or someone I'm talking too--good or bad.

 

I know this is definatley *not* a good thing to do--but I'm having trouble deciphering what is too much and what is acceptable. Another thing I do is I talk about exes pretty freely--but not because I have feelings for them--it's the opposite. I have zero feelings for these people so when I'm telling a story about something that happened--I don't take into account that a guy I'm talking too may not want to hear it because it's about an ex, because the person or events in the story really don't mean anything to me. I just thought it was a funny story, something that happened to me.

 

A guy friend of mine was picking on me and described it as me "telling everything about myself, good or bad and hoping the other person still likes me afterwards". Which actually makes sense. I do want these people to form a real, better image of me--so I tell them little quirks or fears, or interests--I'll even tell people negative things.

 

What can I do to fix this or harness it..or even make myself realize what it is I shouldn't be talking about--because I honestly have no idea most of the time and I'll tell someone anything.

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Good question. I'm very open as well, primarily because I have so few real friends, and the people I see every day end up making up for that. Those I've known the longest or been through the most with at work or work closest with, end up getting far too many details about my life. Most do the same with me, so I know I have not crossed the line in most cases. What bothers me is that I have so much more that's negative..... I see their impression that I have this horrid life, simply because I have very little happening on the positive side that is interesting for conversation. My life to them is boring and empty, although in reality, I don't mind my life most of the time, and don't want their whole "married with kids" and seemingly stressed out, constantly on the run lifestyle for myself.

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I'm the same way. Didn't used to be, but I am now.

 

Honestly, I don't care. I'd rather a person know the real me (good and bad) at first, rather than me pretending to be someone I'm not. If they can't accept me as I am and be willing to understand some things I've been through, then I sure as hell don't need them.

 

That's just the way I see it.

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I do this too, but I often don't realize it until the next day or so. Dating is definitely the worst. I've mentioned everything you shouldn't mention on the first date. It's never turned anyone off, but I still wonder whether I shouldn't have said various things. I guess I'm just being myself. Not being myself would probably be worse. I've actually been told that it's kind of refreshing that I don't stick to the conventional topics of conversation.

 

Besides your friend who mentioned it, has anyone else said anything? If not, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. It sounds like you're just honest and open. That's a good thing.

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I like it. It's worse if someone doesn't want to talk about anything about themselves. It at least shows you are real. If the other person opens up and shares the same sort of information, then that is good. But it does kind of force the other person to either like you or not right away. Some people like to dole out the personal information over a period of time. I guess they are worried about scaring someone off too soon.

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I do this too and I am okay with it, it just goes with the territory that is me. If anyone gets scared away then we probably wouldn't get along too well being close anyway.

 

I have learned to curb it somewhat with co-workers and aquaintances.

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it's fine to be yourself, but you could be yourself while holding information back. it's just figuring out what's appropriate to talk about with strangers and what isn't. know that there is a strong probably that these people will judge you for it, spread it around and could use it against you. they're not your friends so do not owe you any loyalty.

 

i know that sounds bleak, but it's an important thing to consider... esp with co-workers.

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