SO frustrated with my fiancé

[ladyachika]

I am just so frustrated with my fiancé right now.

 

We've been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months, and will be getting married in July. For the past few weeks, it seems like he doesn't really put in the effort to take time and cultivate our relationship. It's extremely difficult because of the time difference (he's in Europe, I'm in the US). I understand that when it's time to sleep for him, it's only the middle of the afternoon for me and I'm at work. It's hard to get in the quality time to talk to each other and share each other's feelings and catch up on what's going on in our lives.

 

The thing is, I feel like he never really makes an effort. Every week, we email each other at work several times a day, and talk about how we look forward to Friday nights, since I get to go home early from work and we can Skype. For the past few weeks however, he'd tell me he would go out with his friends or his sister to a bar after work on Friday, and then come back in time to Skype with me. Only thing is, he always ends up having one too many, and ends up coming back to his apartment extremely late, at like 1am or 2am. At that point, if he remembers that he's supposed to skype with me at all, he's drunk and barely able to carry a decent conversation with me, and then he has to go to bed because he's tired. He just doesn't make an effort to call it an evening after a beer or two, and then go home to talk to me...he has to get extremely drunk and is so inebriated he loses track of time and ends up missing the last subway home. And here I am all this time waiting by the computer patiently for him to arrive.

 

I told him that I don't mind him going out as long as he keeps me posted. But then he emails me saying "Oh, I'm having a really fun night, I won't be home until really late". And then 2 hours later, "I'm too drunk to go home, i'm at my sister's now, we'll skype tomorrow". Am I wrong to feel upset at this? I could be doing something else and not wasting my time waiting around for him. I just don't know what to say to him to make him realize that he's being inconsiderate....

[jet_palero]

long distance relationships are really hard, its really easy for feelings to fae a bit, or to get too used to not having someone around anymore. How long has it been since you two saw each other? Might be time to plan out a visit.

[savignon]

I agree with the above...LDRs are difficult and if you haven't seen each other in awhile, it's typical to get caught up in your day to day and really connect.

When will you see him again? More importantly, when's the wedding??