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How do depressed people make friends?


Milly87

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I don't know if this is the dumbest question ever... I'm sorry in advance if this has been covered before, I couldn't find anything similar to my situation...

 

I'm in my twenties and have gone through quite a bit, I'm soo clean now, but i'm left in this situation where I feel really weird all the time, and feel like my issues, from abuse, to eating disorder to depression has already interfered and taken over my whole life to such a large extent, existing is hard enough as it is, but existing alone, makes me very lonely and suicidal.

 

The conventional routes, jobs, university etc, I tried, but my past issues interfered, I couldn't fit in, cos well.. I am different, and they could tell. I did not function very well, and now I feel too old to go back to school in the normal sense, and now studying from a distance.. Well its lonely.

 

I have to admit I first joined these forums in the hopes of meeting people, like people who are going through similar things, as I felt that it might help a great deal, but virtual is good, but I mean, I spend hours watching soo many bad tv shows these days, and I would really like someone to watch these shows with, even though something silly may remind me of something else and I may start crying uncontrollably.

That's probably too much to ask of most...

 

But every single day, I get closer to understanding why people commit suicide via addiction, why people like me cant stop until they die.

When I was a drug user I could fake happy, or rather I actually thought I was really happy.

In those days I used to model and style, and I still have that eye, and generally always need to be well put together, even though I mostly feel dead inside.. I also think this is probably why I attract certain people, the rare few who do come up to me, on the rare occasions I do go out, assume I must have an interesting life, so now I avoid it all.. Who really wants to know the truth?

 

When I was completely wasted I actually thought I loved my life. It's 4.35am here, I havent slept in three days... So now I read a * * * * load, but now my eyes also hurt... Is this any more real?

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Milly, you seem like a pretty nice person to me and one I'd want for a friend! I deal with depression too. I have friends but none who live in my state, except for one and he is my BF (today). My advice is to start out with people with baby steps and not to share too much until you know them much better. Unfortunately, we all have to go through what might seem to be superficial stuff to get to the kind of relationships where we can cry with someone. Hang in there!

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