Well, my ex is going to college off my sweat and blood...

[Umlunguusa]

...And while I know it's my fault for doing her school work when we were together, I still feel incredibly used and jealous of the fact that she is now going to a better college than me! she was still in high school when I was doing her work, and I did all her english projects--which accounted for 20% of her grade, which without, she would've never been accepted at her fancy private college.

 

Why do I feel so bad that she's a success and going off somewhere? I mean, I know I shouldn't have done it for her, but I felt bad for her at the time...and I thought I loved her at the time.

 

but now I don't know if I'm jealous because she's going to a better college, if I feel she owes me, or what.

 

It's just a feeling of inferiority that I have, I suppose, and If you can offer advice on it, that'd be great.

[DN]

If you did her work and she got accepted - how will she manage when she has to do her own work? She may well find that when the going gets tough she can't keep up.

[Umlunguusa]

If you did her work and she got accepted - how will she manage when she has to do her own work? She may well find that when the going gets tough she can't keep up.

 

I suppose...but the fact that she still got accepted to a private college (it's rated okay, not the best, but certainly not the worst) just made me feel real jealous, and almost inferior to her...and I don't know why.

[Umlunguusa]

That is NOT the reason that she was accepted. 20% of English projects is not going to make or break you getting into college - sorry. You need to let that thought go and just focus on your own life - not hers. In the end, that will help you the most.

 

no, she needed to pass her english class to get accepted, that was the only one aside from calculus, (which I helped her with too) that she needed at least a B in, and I gave her an A in both of those. because without the 20% in her english, her score, according to my friend, would've been a 68%, well below a B.

[Ellie2006]

Well, would you still feel cheated if you were still together and she got into that private college when you didnt? Do you really think she would have given you credit for her getting in to the private college, if you two were still together? I dont think that would have happened. Even if you did work that accounted for 20% of her grade, she still did the work that accounted for 80% of her grade.

 

Bottom line: it's spilt milk. Yes, it's natural to feel bitter but if you are content with the school that you got accepted into, then let this one go and get more excited about going to college!

 

[EDITED TO ADD: oh and next time, dont do anyone else's work -- it could get you both Fs (or worse) for cheating]

[dreamwarrior]

Ellie...that's a good one.

 

Also, don't feel cheated for something good you did to help the person you loved at the time...feel good that you did something to enrich someone else's life. Basically, don't have regrets over the good deeds you did/do in this life.

[insecurefool]

Ellie...that's a good one.

 

Also, don't feel cheated for something good you did to help the person you loved at the time...feel good that you did something to enrich someone else's life. Basically, don't have regrets over the good deeds you did/do in this life.

 

seconded, although by doing this you may have made her success in college harder to obtain, who knows.

 

also, don't sweat what makes a "better" school, make the most of the one you attend. you still have your full college career to make the most of, let her be a big girl and figure out if she can handle the work.

[GoneCrazy]

If you did her work and she got accepted - how will she manage when she has to do her own work? She may well find that when the going gets tough she can't keep up.

 

I agree if she didnt do it herself the fact is she will most likely have a hard time in college and might end up dropping out while your still in another school doing better.