should i leave him?

[Elenna]

Hi could anyone give me some advice? We got married in one religion two months ago with plans to marry in the other and by civil law this June. That's now on hold. It's all gone wrong. I was struck down by a mysterious illness and been in hospital for weeks, out now but I've lost my driving licence due to my condition. I used to commute to work in by car then train but due to my health and lack of transport i'm now housebound. He never wanted to live far from his friends, work and family so we have always lived just around the corner from them. My work, friends and family are over fifty miles away and now I can't get to them. He's not showing me any support emotional, friendship or otherwise and i'm still paying half but with my savings. I've spent two weeks indoors while he goes out to work and does his sports. I'm too young to be at home with no job, no friends and no way of leaving the village. The buses are few and far between. I want us to move to a place where I could walk to a station so that I can work and have a life, and maybe closer to my family as some times when i'm really ill i need someone with me but he's more than dragging his feet. To cut a long story short I wanted to run away tonight when he made me cry but due to lack of transport I've set up camp in the spare bedroom. Not that he's even noticed he's still watching tv.My whole life has fallen apart, i'm still ill, and not only is he not there for me, he is rude, grumpy and mean to me all the time and hasn't shown me any affection for weeks. I've taken to doing his laundry and cooking for him every day and fetching him coffee all evening just to try and get him in a better mood but it doesn't work. The more i do the more he takes for granted. On top of that, i've been fixing the house up- plastering you name it, and still have dinner on the table for him- but no matter what i do he comes home in a mood. He's fine with other ppl.. like if he has a phone call but as soon as he's alone with me he's horrible and grumpy again. All he has said is he doesn't want to move. It seems like he wants the house, location but not me as i don't fit any more. I worry that the only thing that would make him happy again is if i just left and he could keep his life and maybe one day some other girl could move in to his perfect life. I don't think he loves ME. This is the hardest time of my life and instead of helping me through it or even just encouraging me, or god forbid looking after me!, he's being cold and moody, making everything about him, kicking me when i'm down and just making my life harder. I can't take anymore heartache and i don't know what to do. Should i leave him? My family see us as married but his regard us as engaged. I don't even think we are a we anymore- please help i'm so confused!

[loulee]

I truly feel for you...you sound very alone..and yes I would advise you to leave him pronto.You have just experienced many trying issues... illness .isolation. unable to work..and yet your partner has not supported you at all..Go home and be with your family, you really need some support right now. Ask yourself how can my life AND my relationship improve if I stay..Expecting him to step up to the mark is waiting for another disappointment Haven't you had enough of those..things will not improve where you are...perhaps a trip home even for a few weeks will force you and your partner to have a serious look at your union..staying is helping..have some time away from him and assess your feelings again..he will be forced to the the same..he cannot take you for granted if you are not there!!! Use this time as thinking time about want you really seek in your future....it doesnt sound like you have addressed this problem verbally with your partner to date, or either he does not take your unhappiness seriously..Action will speak louder than words on this one...make a move...

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you. While nobody can speak to your private decision about your marriage, it does sound as though being around loved ones could lift your spirits and give you a stronger place from which to consider your options.