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Desperately need advice


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He Calls Me Instead Of Texting
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting

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I accidentally sign into my boyfriend's Facebook, only to find he's been talking to a friend of his about sleeping with someone else that was supposed to show up tonight, but didn't. He said the girl would show up tomorrow night and that he'd make sure she "came" this time. And about how he needs to buy some condoms for this occasion since he never used them with me. I basically freaked out and tried to ask his friend what was going on, but he gave me a really hard time about it "what's in it for me?" "what incentive do I have"?

So I started telling him the truth. My mom died, I'm depressed. I need to know the truth, so I can leave my boyfriend for good if this is really going on. I even told him that my boyfriend hated him (which is also true, he's always told me that)

Anyway, it turns out my boyfriend and I were logged in simultaneously and he could see the entire thing. Which didn't embarrass me, since I was very upset. He claimed to be joking and that none of it was true, but I didn't believe him. Now he says I've embarrassed him in front of his friend and that, I obviously don't trust him. He wants to break up.

It's true that I don't trust him, but he's cheated before. Lied before. About the same things. I don't believe he's joking, but I really did only sign into his Facebook by accident, and I wasn't trying to hurt him by talking to his friend, just trying to get answers.

He said we'd talk about it all tomorrow but that I should consider this relationship over. He probably won't even show up to talk, who knows.

My question is - did I really * * * * up here? I don't think I did. I feel like I stumbled onto something really concrete, and he's trying to play victim. HELP

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Honey, you are in no way in the wrong here, you did yourself a huge favour by stumpling accross that info, he sounds like a loser who wanted to find a way out and is blaming you for something sly that he did. He's shady, get out and stay away xoxoxox

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No, I don't think you screwed up at all here. Not at all. Your boyfriend got caught with his "pants down" figuratively here, but instead of explaning what happened, he tried to pass it off as some kind of joke, then gets angry at you, and is ready to break things off with you?

 

Think about it this way. If he caught you talking to your friend about you planning to sleep with another man, would he hesistate to say something about it?

 

He sounds like someone who won't accept responsibility for his actions. Kick him to the curb. Don't even wait for an explanation, its most likely going to be some story he cooked up anyways. You deserve better than some guy who tries to pass off the blame of his own infidelity on you. Its hard, but you did nothing wrong here. You should remove yourself from this situation, because a liar like him is only going to cause you more hurt.

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just tell him to f*ck off. He's screwed up and he's trying to blame u for it. And he sounds pathologically antisocial given he has no concerns about ur feelings and the way he dealt w/ it was to (most probably) lie saying it was a joke. I mean, who would joke about something like this? If I was a friend I wouldn't find it funny at all (his lame a$$ sense of humour would make me want to choke him anyway let alone be with him). Stand up for urself and just pack and leave (it sounds like he wears the pants in the relationship). And do him a favour and get him professional help.

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Let him go..he has cheated and lied before, why do you need that aggravation. I would also be concerned about the fact that you have been having unprotected sex with him given his history of cheating. You really should get yourself tested for STDs. I wonder though, given his history of cheating, if deep down you suspected that something was amiss and logging on to his facebook wasn't as accidental as you say...something, deep down was driving you to do it. While that is wrong in itself, you clearly didn't trust him and now you have the proof. Forget all of his posturing..that is just the typical behaviour of a scoundrel. You are much better off without him.

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Look he's trying to twist it so you look like the bad one before you can break up with him and call him the cheater. He knows he's in trouble and he's trying to fling it back at you so just don't believe a word he says. Get out of there, that doesn't sound like a joke. Sometimes guys (and girls) make stupid jokes about sleeping with other people in a very obviously sarcastic way but this sounds too far. It sounds like he was hiding that from you and that's a red flag. It is not your fault, I've accidently logged into other people's facebooks too. My mum's and my best friend's mainly, it's so easy.

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he's doing the leave before you get left thing. don't feel bad, it was never your fault. likewise, you said he cheated before, he's lucky you gave him another chance. this time though, maybe you should rethink about your relationship with him. you deserve someone better. if he doesn't show up on your planned talk, don't bother. i'm sure it's not your loss.

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Well I don't agree with you nosey tactics or snooping through his personal accounts but it confirmed what you knew all along... he's a looser.

 

The guy is a cheat. He lies, you don't trust him... you said all this yourself. What the hell are you involved with him for? Does he actually have any good qualities?

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Yet again the man manages to turn it round and make you be in the wrong. No chance sweetheart, he sounds like a right nasty. You sound like a sensable lass. If i was in this situation he would be out the door by now. Dont take his rubbish or you will be taking it for ever. Show him you dont need him. Its totally his loss anyway. Hope your ok honey. Goodluck.

 

xcx

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