Jump to content

Should I tell them I'm dating others?


anya85
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (...
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Screwing Up)

Recommended Posts

This may seem like an obvious question--but I'm not sure. So I'm on a few dating sites and I'm talking to several guys. Most I haven't met yet. So, if I'm talking to one of these guys and they ask what I'm doing later or what I did that night--should I say I was on a date/going on a date?

 

For one, I think it's good to be honest and probably doesn't hurt for them to know I have other options.... But, what if the thought of that turns them off? It's silly, but if I was dating a guy and I really liked him--*I* would probably be a bit put off by this info--what if they are too? I know that no one is exclusive here and that I'm completely within my rights to date others--but how open should I be about that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is personal info that I would keep to myself. I would simply say that I have a dinner date with a friend. And leave it at that. You are just getting to know these guys. They dont deserve to be privvy to your personal life yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've noticed a lot of guys are nosey(most of them), they want more info about everything. Being vague like that would only warrant more questions. And if I deflected enough, they'd figure out it's a guy and not a "friend", unless I lied. Which I don't like doing. Nosey guys. haha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may seem like an obvious question--but I'm not sure. So I'm on a few dating sites and I'm talking to several guys. Most I haven't met yet. So, if I'm talking to one of these guys and they ask what I'm doing later or what I did that night--should I say I was on a date/going on a date?

 

For one, I think it's good to be honest and probably doesn't hurt for them to know I have other options.... But, what if the thought of that turns them off? It's silly, but if I was dating a guy and I really liked him--*I* would probably be a bit put off by this info--what if they are too? I know that no one is exclusive here and that I'm completely within my rights to date others--but how open should I be about that?

 

absolutely not. that has happened to me, and it was a real turn off. he said he had a date saturday etc. that was if for me. TMI. i think it's assumed we are all dating multiple people until the exclusive talk comes up. i just thing being honest all of the time borders on being un-kind. especially at the beginning. JMO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is personal info that I would keep to myself. I would simply say that I have a dinner date with a friend. And leave it at that. You are just getting to know these guys. They dont deserve to be privvy to your personal life yet.

 

agree.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi with my experience of being on a dating site, guys are totally aware that you may well be talking to others, but you dont need to tell them. Any guys that i met up with would always ask if i had any weird dates, bad experiences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you should just curtly remind the guy the relationship status if he feels you are only seeing him -- and just say that you are seeing other guys you are potentially more attracted to and you are not feeling it enough with him to be exclusive. I think you should intuitively know if this is the case.

 

If he is new to dating himself and you are the first person he's dating in the world, or has a real interest towards and has just fallen for you or appears to be reading allot into whatever you are doing, then I think if you are interested in him, or see potential you should be honest and not apply the 'conventional rules' suggested by the other posters, or you should be honest about your lack of attraction for him if that is the case.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Put it clearly in your online dating profile that you are looking to date to see what is out there, or something like that.

 

I don't think it's a good idea to blab about your other dates unless you know the other person can handle it, like he is dating other people too. But it does come accross like you are not open if he asks and you give a vague answer. Maybe he can figure it out or maybe he will take it that you don't want to be too close to him. If you are interested in dating him more, then just change the subject to the next date and I'm sure he will forget about his question and start thinking of the next date.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

absolutely not. that has happened to me, and it was a real turn off. he said he had a date saturday etc. that was if for me. TMI. i think it's assumed we are all dating multiple people until the exclusive talk comes up. i just thing being honest all of the time borders on being un-kind. especially at the beginning. JMO.
...

I agree. At the very least, you could just say you tried this new restaurant over the weekend, etc. No need to come out and say you had a "date" (even if it is understood that you did). If a guy came out and said, "I had a date last night..." I would probably not see him again. It's okay if he DID (unless we are exclusive), I just don't need to hear about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I would not mention anything. You are not exclusive with them, therefore you don't owe them anything. Unless you are willing to pursue something more serious with them, I wouldn't say anything just yet. The whole point of going to a dating site is so you can find someone with potential for long term relationships. If anything, they are probably talking to other girls just as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

absolutely not. that has happened to me, and it was a real turn off. he said he had a date saturday etc. that was if for me. TMI. i think it's assumed we are all dating multiple people until the exclusive talk comes up. i just thing being honest all of the time borders on being un-kind. especially at the beginning. JMO.

 

lol. walks into a first date with someone and starts mentioning other people he's dating. Who does that??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol. walks into a first date with someone and starts mentioning other people he's dating. Who does that??

 

oh i am so serious. it was awful. i will never forget that date. we had a drink at the bar, decided to have dinner and we're chatting after we ordered, and i ask 'so, what do you have going on this holiday weekend'...and he proceeds to tell me about this date he has planned! i guess the look on my face said everything, and he got mad at me, and said 'well, i guess your going to be a witchy now' and i said, 'no, i like this restaurant'...we chatted through dinner (me..really holding back a slap!) . when the bill came, i said 'oh, let me split that with you' and put down my credit card and he says 'what the h*ll is that?' ... he wanted cash! hahaha! too damn funny. then....as we were leaving he asked if we were going out again... that is when i told him where to stick it...ok..and there's more....i see him at a party with one of my GF....who i immediately take into the bathroom and tell all. i come out, and he's annoyed with me, and say's 'you told her what an awful person i am, i'm sure'...and i said 'why, yes i did...and even if she doesn't take my advice, she'll find out soon enough...'! sorry...that was really long....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...