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I think I have become jaded...


geekinthepink

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My 27th birthday is quickly approaching. While this does not seem old to many, to me I feel like my entire life should be so much farther along than it is; workwise and relationship wise. I have had 5 relationships that have all ended with either the man deciding he was done or me needing to leave due to abuse (that was only 1, the other 4 I got dumped). All of this has kicked my self-esteems butt.

 

I am told that I am a beautiful/hot/very pretty girl. Some days I see it, most days I wonder if people are just being nice because when I go to online sites or out at social functions the only men trying to ask me out are the ones that the majority of people would consider ugly or skeevy. While I am not dead set on dating a Brad Pit look-alike I do need some attractive features and a good personality most of all. The guys that I find attractive usually ignore me. I could throw myself onto them a la some ridiculous physical comedy skit and would still be ignored.

 

I have grown tired of it all. I see my friends relationships going south when everyone, even them thought it would be a forever type deal. I am tired of being rejected for another girl even though I am myself and I am tired of hearing guys tell me one of the following:

 

I should have dated you back when

or

I should have picked you instead

 

When they say this its after finding each other on facebook from not speaking since high school or college, and most of the time they are married or engaged or in a serious relationship.

 

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?! Are they being nice, are they fishing?

 

I'm tired of being the mary tyler moore person that everyone always says you are so pretty why are you single or you are such a great girl I don't know why you haven't found someone yet.

 

I am ready to just throw in the towel. Any advice would be helpful, but not to be rude, please don't tell me it will happen when I least expect it, I've heard that a billion times too...

 

Thanks!

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I'm in the same boat as you. I'd love to hear what people come up with. It could be worse though. I'm the oldest of 3. My younger sister had a kid 2 years ago and now my brother and his wife are expecting. Yeah for me!! lol

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I feel EXACTLY the same way as you. My 27th birthday is less than a month away, and I'm still single. Now I am totally comfortable being by myself (since I live on my own) but I am finally read to settle down. People claim to know what they want, yet when I get in a relationship with them they end up distant, or confused, or something! My ex and I recently broke up and of course I thought it would last, we had a lot of commonality in terms of the way we perceived things, some of our hobbies etc. But it didn't last long since I am once again single. I've come to the point, where I'm so sick of dating...it's frustrating, sometimes boring...

 

People always ask me as well, why are you single? You're pretty and this and that...and to be honest, I don't know why I'm single. I'm a great girl! lol

 

The only thing I would say to you, is to have faith and continue doing the things you love and make the most out of your life. Plus, if you've already met a really nice guy before but things just didn't happen to work out, at least you know that there are still nice guys out there it's just a matter of finding one that is on the same page as you are when it comes to relationships

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All you can do is your very best and leave the rest of the chips to fall wherever they may. I live alone too and it's been a few months since my last relationship ended. I haven't met anyone new yet, nor have I even paid many females attention since then. I can honestly say that for the moment, I need a break from all the action and prefer the solitude right now.

 

I have plenty of things to keep me busy right now and that's all the relationship I need. I have my niece and nephew to spend time with, my family, a new career and plenty of things to do here around the house and plenty of things to read, stories I need to finish writing and hundreds of Espanol lessons to strengthen my Spanish. What I am saying is, I am not letting my life center around finding the needle in the haystack anymore.

 

There are millions of good single women/men out in the world who are wonderful people but just don't have a significant other. Believe it or not, some people go on and live their life this way and they are comfortable with that lifestyle. So it's definitely possible to do so. But I have things going in my life to keep me going and keep myself busy. I would love nothing more than to find that needle, but in the meantime I also have other things to do that can better my life and perhaps better my chances someday... So until then, I am chillin. I am doing my own thing and just living my life.

 

 

Peace.

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That is about where I am, minus the family, and the career (well I love my job its just not stable right now). I do a lot of charity work in my spare time, but tend to only meet the elderly doing so, lol My female friends are beginning to try my patience. They are either self-absorbed, or just want to stay at home and watch tv all the time. My male friends, well most of them have girlfriends who either don't like me or don't have any single friends to pass my way. HA!

 

I know that there are some people who live alone and are totally happy. I am very happy of my independence. I bought my house myself, my car myself, and everything else I own. I rely on no one and to me that is great, but to many men that scares them away.

 

I am no longer searching for that special someone, but I just get so discouraged when only the foreign(barely speak english)/smell funny/ugly/skeevy men are the only ones who pay me any mind. It makes me wonder if all those "you are such a quirky and unique person" comments that my friends make really means something is wrong with you...

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Be thankful that somebody does actually like you, though. Believe it or not, some people go their entire lives without ever being kissed, ever fallen in love or ever having a girlfriend or becoming married. Not everybody that likes me I find all that attractive, either. But I appreciate that there's somebody out there that notices me.

 

I can't see why some guys would be so intimidated by the things you've accomplished for yourself. That's a huge turn on to me and a major plus that a woman is able to acquire these things without any help. Shows her strength, her independence and her ability to stick to a game plan and stay focused which most folks are not.

 

I have a lot of male friends that often question and ridicule my style of dealing with things. All I can say is to each his own. They have their style of play and I have mines. Whatever. I am just doing what's been working for me all of these years.

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I am thankful that there are people in my life who "like" me, but its not meaningful unless its someone you connect with, either on a friendship level (which I have 5 people who I am very close with albeit we live very far apart) or on that romantic level.

 

I am not sure why men are intimidated by my accomplishments either, but I attribute it to the fact that they feel I wouldn't need them. Men are wired to be the providers (you know that hunter/gatherer cavemen thing) and while some are able to appreciate women who are independent, there are still many who say they like it and want it but when put in the situation where the woman makes more or has done more they feel inadequate.

 

I agree to each their own; however, living in a small state where everyone knows everyone some way or another I am running out of options. I would move but every time I try something happens that forces me to stay. Plus I painted myself into a corner by buying my home. I have to stay here for at least 3-5 more years. Its very frustrating especially when you social circle starts pairing off, marrying and having children. Being that third wheel gets old and eventually leaves you with no common ground with which to hang out or even relate. Its also annoying when you go to company +1 functions and you have no +1 and you work primarily with men, so their wives/girlfriends give you the cold shoulder.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am appreciative of the life I have and proud of myself for my accomplishements, but it just gets lonely being the cheese...

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I'm in the same boat as you. I'd love to hear what people come up with. It could be worse though. I'm the oldest of 3. My younger sister had a kid 2 years ago and now my brother and his wife are expecting. Yeah for me!! lol

 

Yeah, I am the oldest in my family as well. The younger bro is still in college. Luckily my older cousin is still single, but my mom keeps saying "when are you going to give me grandkids?" and "you aren't getting any younger"

 

No pressure at all...lol

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