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So I had a weak moment last night and looked on his myspace. He has a new girlfriend. It has only been 7 weeks since our breakup. He had a picture of her posted (not attractive), she is 7 years younger and lives in another state. He's professing his love for her. This is a guy in his mid 30's. This is pathetic and extremely immature, but it still hurts. I dumped him because he was an emotionally abusive jerk and would never want him back, so it isn't about being jealous of her. If anything I feel deeply sad for her and have been praying that she sees his true colors before it's too late. It just hurts that I meant so little to him. Any words of encouragement/advice would be much appreciated. I know many of you have been in my shoes before

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I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I know how you feel, I've been in your shoes at one point. You should be thankful that you are no longer with him because the same way that he treated you, he will do the same with her. Just know that you are in a better place right now, otherwise you would still be miserable with him. It's perfectly alright to have a moment of weakness sometimes, you just have to pick yourself up and vow to be stronger the next time around. It's going to take some time, but it is definitely possible to get over it. Once you begin to let go and accept that there are things in life that cannot be, you will naturally become happier. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you for who you are. Everything will be ok, stay strong.

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I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I know how you feel, I've been in your shoes at one point. You should be thankful that you are no longer with him because the same way that he treated you, he will do the same with her. Just know that you are in a better place right now, otherwise you would still be miserable with him. It's perfectly alright to have a moment of weakness sometimes, you just have to pick yourself up and vow to be stronger the next time around. It's going to take some time, but it is definitely possible to get over it. Once you begin to let go and accept that there are things in life that cannot be, you will naturally become happier. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you for who you are. Everything will be ok, stay strong.

 

Thank you. I needed to hear that. Though the healing process is hard, and this kind of reopened the wound, I would much rather be miserable for a short while and allow myself to heal and grow from this than to just jump into another relationship without allowing my wounds to heal and just repeating the same horrible mistakes over and over again which is what he does. That is no way to live. I know that if there is someone out there for me I will be ready and able to give the love, respect and devotion they need, as well as being open to receiving it. He is destined for a life of never knowing true love unless he takes a cold, hard look at himself and does the work he needs to do to change.

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You already heard what I had to say on this, but these people don't deserve our love, they deserve our pity. They can just jump from one person to another and say the first sweet things that come into their heads, but there's no feeling there. They are robots. How can you say you're in love if you don't even know what that is?

 

So pity away, but please, PLEASE don't go tearing yourself up over this!

 

erm..... i'm sorry, i missed the part where any of this has anything to do with you.

 

 

Let me help. Step 1: Open your eyes. Step 2: Move them from left to right.

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OK fiona, sorry to talk about you on your own thread, i was obviously missunderstood.

 

Let me help. Step 1: Open your eyes. Step 2: Move them from left to right.

 

Is supposed to be abrubt, creul i know, but sometimes neccesary to be kind.

 

The point is, her ex, her ex's new Gf. She shouldn't know anything about this, and is causing herself pain by finding out about it.

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And she's been trying to be strong about it. How many threads do you see here every week about people who slip and sneak a look at Facebook or whatever? She slipped, looked and is now asking for encouragement and advice to help her recover. I don't see where being nasty is a necessity here - she already realizes what she did.

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And she's been trying to be strong about it. How many threads do you see here every week about people who slip and sneak a look at Facebook or whatever? She slipped, looked and is now asking for encouragement and advice to help her recover. I don't see where being nasty is a necessity here - she already realizes what she did.

 

 

Too true,

 

Fiona, pls accept my apology.

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And she's been trying to be strong about it. How many threads do you see here every week about people who slip and sneak a look at Facebook or whatever? She slipped, looked and is now asking for encouragement and advice to help her recover. I don't see where being nasty is a necessity here - she already realizes what she did.

 

I couldn't agree more- there is no point in being nasty to someone who is obviously in pain!

 

Fiona, take heart- we have almost ALL done this!! I did it myself, and sent myself into spirals of self loathing- it was H*LL. Don't beat yourself up, it's just human nature. Now you know NOT to do it again, because if you keep looking at his page, you'll never heal.

 

Yes, no matter how much we know the ex isn't good for us, it STILL hurts when they've found someone else- that's a given. And I agree, it would be so much easier if the new GF was drop-dead gorgeous, but she's not and it sucks, doesn't it?

 

The thing is, she's obviously a rebound or he wouldn't be 'in love' with her- and you never know, maybe she is someone he found quickly to help ease the pain of losing you! You don't know that he's really happy, and you certainly don't know how long it will last, so don't torture yourself thinking about any of that.

 

Try to focus on you: what kind of person you deserve to have in your life, what you can do to improve your life, what makes you happy, the reasons you are special... the more you fill your mind with thoughts of self improvement and self love, the less room you'll have in your head to think about him. Take baby steps, forgive yourself, and get away from myspace/FB crack or it will eat you alive.

 

HUGS!!!

 

XO SG

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You already heard what I had to say on this, but these people don't deserve our love, they deserve our pity. They can just jump from one person to another and say the first sweet things that come into their heads, but there's no feeling there. They are robots. How can you say you're in love if you don't even know what that is?

 

=D> Seymore, you have described my ex perfectly.

 

These people suffer from dependency, a kind of dependency that is disturbing and needs psychiatric help ASAP! These people are never happy within themselves. They hate themselves, so they take whatever is available to them and expects the other person to make them happy and feel "loved" so they don't take responsibility for their own happiness. It's sad, truly is, but we can't do anything about it except pray for them and wish them luck. They'll need it.

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Hi all, I went to lunch and came back to lot's of drama! Thank you for standing up for me Seymore (you've always got my back) and I accept your apology Blue eyed boy. Thank you for that. We all have difficult times when healing from break ups and I took a couple of steps back instead of moving forward, but from this moment on will only be moving forward. Though it was painful to see, it just confirms what I already knew about him and proves how much better off I am. This I know to be true. Thank you all for your understanding and support. We may be the walking wounded, but many of our exes are the walking dead.

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We may be the walking wounded, but many of our exes are the walking dead.

 

Hehe! It's funny and true at the same time!

 

Anyways, Myspace & Facebook are evil.......if there's one thing I'm proud of is that even though I know my ex's username & password I never checked her facebook since she dumped me!! That did prevent some un-needed damage to my poor heart back then!

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=D> Seymore, you have described my ex perfectly.

 

These people suffer from dependency, a kind of dependency that is disturbing and needs psychiatric help ASAP! These people are never happy within themselves. They hate themselves, so they take whatever is available to them and expects the other person to make them happy and feel "loved" so they don't take responsibility for their own happiness. It's sad, truly is, but we can't do anything about it except pray for them and wish them luck. They'll need it.

 

Yep, they are emotional vampires - sucking the life and love right out of a person.

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Yep, they are emotional vampires - sucking the life and love right out of a person.

 

 

Yup. And then once the victim cannot provide those things anymore, they head on to the next person without any remorse or feelings for the "dead" person. Sad.

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Hehe! It's funny and true at the same time!

 

Anyways, Myspace & Facebook are evil.......if there's one thing I'm proud of is that even though I know my ex's username & password I never checked her facebook since she dumped me!! That did prevent some un-needed damage to my poor heart back then!

 

The funny thing is, I don't even have a Myspace or Facebook. It's not the sites that are evil, it's the people who use them You can't tell me he isn't hoping that I will look on there and see what he has posted. I never got his password or anything (thank God). It is an extremely immature way to be rude and mean to people. Too bad people have to be like that.

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