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Do not know what to make of my "reaction".


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There are certain "reactions" that I tend to get, with my emotions, where I feel a bit "uncomfortable". I don't know what I'm dealing with emotionally, so I'm best going to describe cases where this sort of "reaction" occurs, try to form my own conclusion about this, and then open it to this board to see what to make of this.

 

1) I was riding in the subway a few weeks ago, I saw two girls appearingly laughing to each other and appearing to be open and having fun. I wanted to approach and sit on a seat close by them. However, I felt that I couldn't get myself to go because my "energy" was incompatable, or incongruent with their "energy" and I'd feel like a dampner.

 

2) I went to a store today and saw some guy and girl appearingly having a great connection and opening up. The same feeling came back again, and it was an uncomfortable sort of feeling that I felt I was missing out on something in my life, or an energy incompatablity.

 

3) I went to a meetup group meeting to watch a movie last Friday. When I left early, I appeared to notice one particular girl appear to talk with another guy in a high energy about the movie, and felt insecure about my own different or low energy levels and left the group on that ground.

 

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Commonalities:

 

1) This reaction usually occurs if there is a couple or more people and at least one of them, is a woman, and there is a emotional frequency where there are usually 'fun social vibes' being transmitted into the environment.

 

2) The reaction is usually intense, last's for a duration while the stimulus is in the environment, and there is usually a combinations of feelings that are stimulated, when that particular emotional frequency is in the environment.

Generally, I feel uncomfortable, inadequate perhaps to some degree, missing out on something, etc.... However, these intense feelings appear to go away shortly as quickly as they come.

 

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The question firstly is if anyone can identify with whatever I am saying on here. Secondly, can anybody read anything into this, why I would feel these particular reactions on these particular stimulus points, but then feel alright once those stimulus points are gone?

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Fear of social failure would explain why you feel alright once you're out of the situation. No threat, no opportunity that might require you to act, thus no more anxiety.

 

I know what you are feeling -- sort of. For me, it is a lack of skill and confidence that I can join the group or the pair of people who are having fun. It is also a fear that I will look like I desperately want to join in, and I do not want to look desperate. Thus it is an uncomfortable situation.

 

I'm learning to approach a situation that appeals to me and try to match the overall vibe, even if I don't have anything to say other than "hey! What's up?" But admittedly, sometimes I just turn the other way and avoid the situation. I do feel badly for a missed opportunity when I do that, though...

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I can relate. I think everyone can. Everyone is operating on different frequencies and energy levels, and we tend to gravitate toward something similar while shunning those frequencies which oppose us. Often times, for example, this is why a hurt person will seek out and relate to a hurt person. Or, a depressed person will gravitate toward another depressed person. Happy on happy, etc. We feed off what we can relate with.

 

I think it's just biology, entropy, energy at all levels... it's like a chemical reaction of sorts that either causes a fizzle or a spark. This also reminds me of the "emotional vampires" phrasing. You can hang around some people and literally feel your life blood being sucked out of you. It's like you HAVE to get the hell out of there or else.

 

I also like the quote, "there's nothing like finding someone when you're lonely... makes you wanna be so all alone." I think we all operate in a range of frequencies, some toward the higher end and some toward the lower, and we usually don't venture very far out of our comfort levels in either direction. There are people out there that can go through multiple breakups, break an arm, lose a loved one, lose a job, and go through something humiliating in public, and yet there they are, still operating at a high frequency, and you can just feel it.

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I agree with jettison on this. Likes attract likes, contrary to to the principles of magnetism (which no one can fully explain how this works anyway).

 

In psychology, there is a notion that ingenuine persons (phoney) tend to hang with ingenuine people. It has been postulated that they feel more comfortable, instinctively knowing that their "true identity" will not be revealed. Even stranger is the fact that they do not recognize the "phoniness" of the persons that they are around. Possibly due to the their self-absorbed nature.

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