KG Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have 2 dates this week. It's what I've been dreaming of. But at the same time, I'm nervous, and ...maybe thinking I'm not ready yet. I'm afraid, on one hand, that it's too soon. That it's a disservice to my wife, and this undermines my confidence. On the otherhand, if I keep thinking this way, I won't move past this. I'm afraid of what I wish for...if that makes any sense. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Could be a fear of the unknown. Unknown of the dating world and unknown of a woman that is not your wife. I think it's completely natural and healthy to have some fear. Just don't let it stop you. And I completely understand how you feel that it's a disservice to your wife...but how do you think she would feel? Wouldn't she want you to move on and be happy? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I know it's scary, but I think that's part of what dating is. We have to take the risk to meet someone we like. And I'm sure your wife wants you to be happy. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 i think you should just go and meet them, don't give it a lot of thought. these are really "Date zero." you just want to meet them in person and see if you have anything in common. just view this as an opportunity to meet someone new and try a new restaurant. good luck!!! Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Just go for fun. Clearly you were dedicated to your wife and still love her very, very much. She has a piece of your heart forever. One thing I'm sure of- when you really love someone with all of your heart- you want them to be happy.I'm pretty sure your wife would not want you to be lonely or unhappy- or to stop living life. If my husband outlived me, I would really hope he would find love again because the idea of him being alone makes me very sad. I'd want someone to take care of him if I wasn't there to anymore. In short- have fun- and go on dates- and when the day comes that loves finds you again open your heart and know that you wife only would want the best for you, and your son too. Link to comment
COtuner Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Just jitters.... keep your expectations low and aim for having fun. You aren't proposing to anyone, it's just a night out. Link to comment
Nixee Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 KG you are such a sweetheart, and it makes perfect sense. I get scared of what I wish for, oh... only about every single day of my life. But... that's exactly why you know you gotta go forward, don't you? And deep down, I hope you also know it really isn't a disservice to your wife. Turning your back on life and love altogether... THAT would be a disservice to her. So I agree with BellaDonna.... go for fun. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, and certainly don't put any crazy expectations on yourself, or on your dates. If you feel unready for anything, then just take things calm and slow. If something feels good and right and you DO have fun... great! I know it is easier said than done.... but hey.. two dates in a week - not bad. Something will click eventually. Just remember not to be hard on yourself or push yourself. Link to comment
Lights Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I agree with annie. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just think of it as meeting and mingling, the term date can easily put you off with some hard thinking!!! Good luck, and I really hope it goes well for you. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 If you genuinely aren't ready, then don't go. If it's just nerves and fear of the unknown, just try to relax and have a good time. I'm sure your wife would want what is best for you, and what's best for you is to be happy. Link to comment
KG Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 I agree with annie. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just think of it as meeting and mingling, the term date can easily put you off with some hard thinking!!! Yeah, it's the "dating" that triggered it. Meeting/mingling is much better. Thanks! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 KG, I think it's perfectly normal what you are feeling given your situation. It's all very fresh and new and probably very scary. Maybe you could go into with an attitude that you are just meeting new people and hanging out and if you end up meeting that someone special, that is okay too. Link to comment
KG Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 KG, I think it's perfectly normal what you are feeling given your situation. It's all very fresh and new and probably very scary. Maybe you could go into with an attitude that you are just meeting new people and hanging out and if you end up meeting that someone special, that is okay too. Yeah, trying to look at it that way, Met. It's just that from reading all the posts here on Dating, waiting, ettiquette, break ups etc, gets kinda scary. So I'm just going to be as casual as I can be. That said, meeting 2 new women has me floating on cloud 9 for awhile here. I just hope it goes well. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Yeah, trying to look at it that way, Met. It's just that from reading all the posts here on Dating, waiting, ettiquette, break ups etc, gets kinda scary. So I'm just going to be as casual as I can be. That said, meeting 2 new women has me floating on cloud 9 for awhile here. I just hope it goes well. And he shall be called "superstud"..... Link to comment
KG Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 And he shall be called "superstud"..... LOL! Far from it...I'm a virgin again, I believ e. Link to comment
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