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Appropriete Ex Bf/gf relationships


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Just wondering.. how comfortable are you with your current bf/gf still being in contact with an ex?

 

What's too much? Constant calls/texts? Hanging out?

 

I ask bc my current bf of 1.5 years is still pretty close with his ex of 4 years. In fact, we recently went to her wedding. I find this odd and even though she is now married, the whole situation still makes me a tad uncomfortable.

 

Thoughts?

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I've never been comfortable with my boyfriends being good friends with their exes. I can be a very jealous person and many would call me insecure, but I'm only looking out for my best interests. I wouldn't force him to end a friendship with an ex, but I would be very wary about getting into a relationship with a guy who kept them as friends.

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i had this happen once the exgirlfriend would phone regularly and would call in for visits without calling to spend time with my partner. they used to have lunch occasionally etc..At first I let it go, it truly didnt bother me.. ...then yes I know stupid ...it went on for nearly 12mths!! It wasnt until I took a phone call for him (he was asleep) it was her and discovered she was organising his invite list for who was coming to his 40th Birthday..enough was enough..I wrote a note with her message and a few exclamation marks for when he woke and promptly went to the pub with a gilfriend I stayed there 3 hours past our arranged time to go out. I came back he felt me out and i told him I was sick of it. I pointed out that he does not arrive at my place and X boyfriends arrive all the time unannounced. that I dont leave him sitting about sometimes with a meal ready while I chat endlessly on the phone to my ex..i expressed how rude it was and how i felt she was not, NOR him respecting our relationship..well he was at a loss to defend himself and actually admitted to me that 2 male friends had already expressed he was not being fair to me having her around so much. he agreed told her a week later and from that day she never visited or phoned again..I did not ask him to end his friendship, although it happened anyway i presume she was upset it, Now why would that be if she respected our relationship....I dont care, she NEVER respected my feelings, The point being I went for TOO long before I spoke up, and my partner knew it wasnt right and took advantage...So speak your mind on this one I think boundaries should be in place..Im glad I did. She was not over him clearly and ex girlfriends can be nothing short of GReat White Sharks in disguise...remember they are only on the scene because they want to remain close with YOUR partner..for their own benefit or agenda whatever that may be...

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I've never been comfortable with my boyfriends being good friends with their exes. I can be a very jealous person and many would call me insecure, but I'm only looking out for my best interests. I wouldn't force him to end a friendship with an ex, but I would be very wary about getting into a relationship with a guy who kept them as friends.

 

Quoted for truth (with me anyway).

 

I would feel too controlling to say "right you can't talk to her anymore it makes me uncomfortable" but I just couldn't accept it. I am very insecure about myself so I would constantly be paranoid. I think I'd avoid getting close to a guy who was still friends with his ex.

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Some times an ex can be a very negative presence, but I don't think your boyfriend is doing anything wrong. If they parted amicably, then it is quite likely that they remained good friends and are still close. She IS married so is clearly unavailable. If you don't get any sexual tension between them or other romantic vibes between them, I wouldn't worry about it.

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I really don't see the point in being friends with an ex. Surely I'm friendly with all my exs, but I don't keep in touch.

 

None of the guys I've dated kept in touch with their exs either.

 

Can't say that I would feel comfortable with it, and I'd find it quite bizarre.

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