SummerAri Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 For about 3 weeks now I've been a member on POF...I've been chatting with 2 guys (the one i posted about the other day and this one I'm talking about now) over the phone/text message who I've grown to like both of them a lot... anyways...this guy and I have been talking mostly through text message because I do not like talking on the phone much until i get to know a person better, and he is the same way. He is a great guy...very good with his words...and I must say, after 3 weeks, I have really kinda fallen for this guy! We made plans to meet up for the first time either this Tuesday or Wednesday for a bite to eat...but i am REALLY scared! I really want to meet this guy...but i have already grown to like him SO much, what if I'm not what he expects when we meet??? he has seen pics of me, i have seen pics of him...we have talked on the phone a couple times and know each others voices...but still. I think I look better in pics than I do in person...so what if he thinks I'm not as attractive in person? or if I'm a complete bore (first meet plus me being kinda shy...will probably not turn out to be very exciting)..... i don't know what to do, what to talk about, or even how to dress!!! I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal...guys don't really want to see that though... Help!! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Have you web cammed with him? Cos he coulda sent you any old pictures? Be very careful here and take a friend with you when you go to meet him just incase he isnt what you think or is dangerous. Link to comment
Raistlin Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 First meets from the internet are usually pretty short and simple. I look at them as another gauge of interest. Yes, you've spent the last few weeks conversing over text, but I can say that for me it's much, much easier to flirt over text with someone new than it is in person. (This changes as the relationship grows). Keep the first meet simple. Wear something nice, meet in a public place (mall, for example) and get your bite then leave. Keep conversation light and cheerful and there's no way you'll come off as boring or what-have-you. If he's interested after that, he'll contact you for setting up a real date. Link to comment
SummerAri Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 we don't have webcams...but i added him on my Myspace, and I've seen recent pics on there of him with friends and stuff...so i'm pretty sure he is the person i've been talking to... we're going to meet in a public place...and i'm taking my own car in case i have to high-tail it out of there quickly... Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Oh thats really good, dont mean to put a downer on it theres just so many horror stories! Just be you, the person hes chatted too and likes. Wear something like jeans and a pretty top, dont over dress but dont under dress. If he finds you boring hes not the guy for you anyways. Link to comment
Raistlin Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 we don't have webcams...but i added him on my Myspace, and I've seen recent pics on there of him with friends and stuff...so i'm pretty sure he is the person i've been talking to... we're going to meet in a public place...and i'm taking my own car in case i have to high-tail it out of there quickly... This is good. And I advise you to park out of sight of the door so he can't watch you park or follow you to your car or anything. Link to comment
SummerAri Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 First meets from the internet are usually pretty short and simple. I look at them as another gauge of interest. Yes, you've spent the last few weeks conversing over text, but I can say that for me it's much, much easier to flirt over text with someone new than it is in person. (This changes as the relationship grows). Keep the first meet simple. Wear something nice, meet in a public place (mall, for example) and get your bite then leave. Keep conversation light and cheerful and there's no way you'll come off as boring or what-have-you. If he's interested after that, he'll contact you for setting up a real date. it really is easier to flirt over text than it is in person. I feel so comfortable flirting when its not face-to-face...but when it comes to flirting in person, i clam up! but like you said...it changes after i get to know the person better. wear something nice? should i go ahead and wear nice jeans and t-shirt? or should i dress nice in a dress or something? I'm not one of those girls who likes to reveal myself a lot... Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Well a pretty top, jeans, and nice flats or heels and a bit of makeup (or none if you prefer) Link to comment
SummerAri Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Oh thats really good, dont mean to put a downer on it theres just so many horror stories! Just be you, the person hes chatted too and likes. Wear something like jeans and a pretty top, dont over dress but dont under dress. If he finds you boring hes not the guy for you anyways. i know, i've heard plenty of horror stories...i just don't want to be one of them! he already knows I'm a shy person and all...so hopefully he will understand that during our first meet... This is good. And I advise you to park out of sight of the door so he can't watch you park or follow you to your car or anything. Haha...I usually do. I like to walk, so I usually tend to park the furthest away whenever i go places so that I can have a good long walk back to the car. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I think Jeans & T-shirt are fine. You are meeting the guy casually for the first date. Be sure that you choose a place where you are absolutely not alone & keep it the first time short & sweet.. You might want to check where you both plan to go in order to have a rough idea of what you should wear. You don't want to wear a full dress when you are just going to get a bite at Mcdonalds. Good luck... & remember to meet only at a VERY public place.. Don't go to any place where you know you will be alone. You don't know the guy yet! Link to comment
NR498E Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I love internet dating. I have met some truly amazing woman over the last few months. It is ok to be nervous. I PROMISE you that he is just as nervous as you are. When I meet a girl for the first time I am nervous. But so far every single girl that I have met has been very cool. I have not had one bad interaction. If you screen these people properly, which you certainly have, there is a very slim chance of this date going bad. Just be yourself and relax. I bet you guys have a great time. Let us know how it went. Link to comment
needadvice1607308048 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 First of all i'll have to say this reminds me of me a great deal because I met my boyfriend on pof and also I am like you hsy and a t-short and jeans girl. On mine and my boyfriends first meet I was very shy and barely said anything then to my surprise he asked me out he said it was because even though I was shy and quiet he could see that I was a genuine and beautiful person underneath 3 months on and we're still together. I think that if the guy is worth it he will be able to see through your shyness and like you for it. Link to comment
SummerAri Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Wow...thanks for the advice everyone... I guess one thing that i'm really scared about [and it has already been mentioned] is the fact that we have been flirting through our texts...we have both been extremely flirty towards each other... i do not act like that in person though...so i don't know if he will find that strange or not? also...i don't want him to think that me being flirty means I want to sleep with him or anything... Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 You feel more comfortable because you don't need to see each other face to face so that helps with your shyness. Nothing wrong about that but in the long run, you know that it is better to meet up face to face. What can happen is that at the first time when you see each other, you might decide that he is not the guy for you. Real life do change a lot of things that are planned only for online contacts. ON the otherhand, it can be that he is Mr. Right. If so, then you will be glad that you did take time to meet him up. Good luck... Hope that you will bring us happy news after your meeting up with him. Link to comment
Pastor Terry Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Just be sure to meet in a public place....rapist and axe murders can sound very nice, it is their job to make you trust them...and take a friend to be near by for the first meeting....I know this sounds a little scary and I don't mean to scare you but it is better to be cautious then sorry.....you really don't know someone met on-line ....they can be who they wish.....good luck/////just be yourself Link to comment
MissKnowitall Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Meet in a public place. Do NOT for a second go somewhere private with this guy on the first meeting even if you really hit it off. Let people know where you are, with whom you are going to meet, and as much information as possible about the guy. Include how you met, his name online, and any other important information. Take a cell phone and have a fake phone call ie: Have somebody call you to see how you're doing and have a code phrase if you want to get picked up by that friend. If everything is fine then have a code phrase for that. Be prepared no matter how well you think you know a guy or how much you trust him. You never really know a person and its better safe than sorry. Link to comment
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