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Did I misunderstand his signals???


Shylight

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So, I met a guy a few weeks ago and we ended up talking for awhile. I thought he was cute, and after a few more conversations I asked him out. It went something like this,

 

"It's my 21st birthday this saturday, and I'm looking for someone to spend it with, what are you doing that night?"

 

He's extremely anti-social/shy, so he looked down at the ground and kinda laughed and said, "Can I just ask you out on a date?" we set up dates and stuff, and then he said, "So, saturday it's our date....or whatever you would like to call it." and I said, "I can call it a date."

 

So we go through the whole thing and it's awesome, but by the end I was surprised there wasnt any intianation into the lip game, so I asked if we could sit down a moment and I said, "Can I kiss you?"

 

His reply, "Oh, did you mean like a peck on the cheek or something?"

 

THis came off to me as, "No lips!" so I replied

 

"I can settle for that." and I kissed him on the cheek.

 

Um.....did I mishear something? I was SO sure he was into me. If I had known this was going to happen I would have never asked. Now Im really embarred.

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He sounds really shy. You may have to be the one to initiate everything with him, so be sure that you are ready to take the lead in a relationship. I suggest you not be so coy with him, don't ask him if you can kiss him, just do it and see how he reacts.

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I think he's very shy, and it's likely that he's never kissed before. I think that Spidey is right, and that you shouldn't announce things like kisses. That will just make both of you more aware of it and more selfconscious. Just have a bit of a flow. Also, a first date may be too soon for him for kissing. I'd take it slow but not give him up yet. I don't think he's not interested, just not sure how to handle his interest.

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I wonder if that was just his sense of humor saying, "Oh, did you mean like a peck on the cheek or something?" It's hard to judge by your description, but it sounds like he has a very dry sense of humor.

 

You said he's shy so you shouldn't be surprised that there was no initiation of the lip game. Has he kissed and made out with other girls before?

 

Also, he may not think that you like him, although, from what you've described it seems very obvious. I often overlook the obvious and focus on the things that seem to indicate a girl may not like me. Maybe he heard you mention someone else you like one time and is focusing on that, for example. I'm saying it could be small things he's heard you say that make him think you don't like him.

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Also, he may not think that you like him, although, from what you've described it seems very obvious. I often overlook the obvious and focus on the things that seem to indicate a girl may not like me.

 

Yep, me too. I automatically assume I am not liked and it colors everything.

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After I kissed him I very bluntly stated, "I'm attracted to you" from which he says, he was flattered. I apologized if I had offended him and he said No, he wasnt offended at all

 

We talked deeply a long time after this, and hugged good bye and he waited for the bus with me....I feel like I've ruined this completely now. I thought I was doing the right thing. How can I save this?

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After I kissed him I very bluntly stated, "I'm attracted to you" from which he says, he was flattered. I apologized if I had offended him and he said No, he wasnt offended at all

 

We talked deeply a long time after this, and hugged good bye and he waited for the bus with me....I feel like I've ruined this completely now. I thought I was doing the right thing. How can I save this?

 

By doing nothing.

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Shylight, from what you described he could be inexperienced and literally not know what to do and doesn't want to embarrass himself, or he might feel guilty about kissing and physical pleasure because that's how he was raised (religious or conservative parents). If you can talk deeply with him, then you can ask him how he feels about kissing. It sounds like you are pretty open with each other, so maybe he can explain why he doesn't want to do any kissing. It could be anything. There's the thread about erections and kissing. Maybe he thinks that you will be offended if he gets aroused so he becomes shy at the thought of touching.

 

But the fact that he has spent the time with you almost definitely means he likes you I would say.

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Why would anyone want to kiss someone they just met?? (other than Brad Pitt or Will Smith) you don't know where his mouth has been... do you live in a cave under the earth?? Don't you know how Herbes and mono and AIDS and god knows a 100 more things you might get?? What if this guy loves to have oral sex with women or with womens butts??? Men have those fetishes.... it is NOT uncommon... so this means when you kiss him without knowing anything about where he has been last your tasting his last butt... how old are you ten?? Don't go off wanting to bed some guy or kiss him without knowing anything about him... take it slow no one wants someone who is easy... that only happenes in movies and sex films... if someone he/she is easy who else have they been with? And the reasonable contraction for deiease is more likely with people who kiss and have sexual contact without knowing someone well... you're opening yourself up to the nasties... what's the rush? Go shopping masturbate... a woman does not need to humiliate herself for pleasure...

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