tushboy Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I bumped into my ex last night at a party....I saw him after a really long time since am in NC and avoid any chances of meeting or seeing him. I had decided to ignore him totallly and that's what I did....I kept getting looks from him, and at a point he even came to dance with me and I just turned and walked away...... Today morning a friend called to say that my ex said I am a bitter person and that I still haven't moved on from him...He said if I had moved on I would at least be polite and say a hello. He even told my friend that he thought I would have changed but am still the bitter old me which is why he broke up in the first place.. I have no intentions to break my NC, but I didn't really want to come accross as bitter, on the other hand had I gone and said hello, it would have only stroked his ego and made him feel better which I didnt want to do. I know I shouldn't bother giving importance to what he thinks/says....but it did make me think if strict NC makes us looks as sore losers/bitter people as opposed to LC. Link to comment
Sweet Venus Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Really who CARES what your ex thinks about you?? You are still letting them dictate your life and emotions when you do. Sometimes being "bitter" is what helps us move on.If it doesn't sit well with an "ex", too BAD!!!! Link to comment
leixling Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Omg lol what a pathetic thing to say. I don't think it's "bitterness"...it's pain. Anyone who has been dumped before would understand that you have to act this way to make yourself feel better. It isn't being bitter, it's a survival mechanism. And sorry but if he's said that to your friend it clearly bothered him that you acted like that, but if he doesn't care then why would it bother him?? Looks like maybe he's the one who hasn't moved on. And there is absolutely no need to say "that's why I broke up with her." If he's moved on why would he care you blanked him and why would he feel the need to add that * * * * * y comment. Pathetic. He knows that if he tells your friend what he "thinks" it'll get back to you, and he is probably waiting for you to call him and apologise.. Gah this post makes me angry!! I can relate because I went into a period of unannounced NC for 2 weeks then I saw my ex in a club, and at the time I was drunk so literally didn't even care that he was there. Well he saw me and came over to say hi. I looked him straight in the eye, smiled and said hi back, but didn't continue the conversation (e.g. how are you etc.) I just walked off to go to a different room, I didn't even do it out of spite, I was just drunk and wanted to go to a different room, and couldn't be bothered to talk to him. An hour later I'd sobered up and he was completely ignoring me so I went over and asked him why, and he said "you ignored me before I said hi to you and you just walked off." I clearly had said hi back, but whatever. When I woke up the next day I remembered thinking " * * * ." Who does this guy think he is. They dump us, and when we supposedly blank them they throw a hissy fit. It's pathetic. Unfortunately I made the mistake of apologising to my ex the next day. He was most likely waiting for it. He dumped you, he doesn't have the right to you or your life anymore!! Put yourself in his shoes. Or think about someone you've broke it off with who you don't really care about at all. If they blanked you would you even be bothered? I know I wouldn't The only time I've broke it off with guys; we've never been in a relationship, it's just been guys I was casually dating but didn't want to see them any more. I had no bad feelings towards them, just indifference. If one of them blanked me I can honestly say I wouldn't even care, and wouldn't think twice about it after it happened. Link to comment
tushboy Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 I agree I shouldn't really read too much into this. He can say whatever he wants, I know NC is working for me and I will continue walking down that path. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Wow... honestly I think what happened the last time you two were together... I think something about 3 of you crashing into bed and then you leaving for inappropriate activity... THAT alone would make me avoid him for the rest of his life... He is just trying to earn your approval... by you ignoring him he clearly doesn't have it... NOW - lets look and see who is not over who??? If you are cool to go about your life and avoid him because of constant bad enviornments he puts you in.... A GOOD THING. He who is seeking your attention after all his bad behavior... A BAD THING. I think it speaks volumes he still wants to manipulate you. Kudos for you for NOT falling for it! Link to comment
Joshb Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Yea i am afraid of that too. my ex has said that its immature, and childish. And ignoring her she probably thinks im playing a game. She gets all mad and said to a friend. Oh Josh has this THING where he cant be my friend!! So either she really moved on, or just keeping so busy and supressing things. I do plan to talk to her again at some point. Just right now i need to heal more. And not to be messed up, but if there are still feelinsg i want to give her to time to realize them, and figure things out on her own. Link to comment
Daria_Lane Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 Personally, I think he told your mutual friend these things to try and get you to break NC by denying they are true. Agreed it's a trick Link to comment
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