I'm so disappointed in myself.

[simply complicated]

It's been awhile since I started posting on this site again, so I was just reading over some of my past threads and noticed that i'm still going through the same problems now that I had years ago.

 

I posted a thread about "Going Nowhere" in life and needing change, I had that same mentality then as i'm feeling now, and have done Nothing! i've become a victim of routine, caught in the vicious time killing, life wasting cycle that is work, eat, sleep, and hanging out with friends, all subject to routine without progress.

 

I have realized though, that it is a problem of motivation, I can make a change, stick to it, then lose interest quickly, my routine has become my "safety zone" it's also a problem of finances, debt does not help the situation, so I started saving my money, consolidated my debt and am avoiding the useless expenditures as often as I can, which is probably why I have time to come back to this site, but all this conservativeness has givin me time to think and realize that i've done nothing with my life.

 

It brings me back to the question that I think everyone should stop and ask themselves....If you died today, would you be happy with the way you've lived your life....my answer, would be NO....what would yours be? honestly

[Rickster]

If I died today, would I be happy with they way I've lived my life? NO too.

 

I also have this routine that I go into and it's that safety zone which I feel too comfortable with. I definitely need change, and I've started doing it in small steps to make me feel more comfortable with change. I can't take drastic leaps; just can't handle change too well. You should watch 'Yes Man'. It got me thinking about doing things that I never would have done in my life because of what I 'thought' I should do, or was capable of doing. You should try doing things that you hate doing as well. Breaks you out of that routine that you feel so comfortable with.

 

Can I ask, what is it that you want with your life? Like after all this change occurs, what will you feel contemplated with?

[simply complicated]

If I died today, would I be happy with they way I've lived my life? NO too.

 

 

Can I ask, what is it that you want with your life? Like after all this change occurs, what will you feel contemplated with?

 

 

Good question, I can't really say, all I know is that I won't feel as bad as I do now, i'm sure the more we as people achieve, there is always more we want, I just hope with my mentality, that whatever goals I achieve, I'll leaern to appreciate them, otherwise i'll never be satisfied, and will never be happy with my life.

[WomanWriter]

My answer would be Yes...I haven't done all that much in terms of wordly success, but I've tried to be as good of a person as possible, I taught and tutored others and made a difference in at least a few kids' lives. I've written things that people said inspired them. I've had good friendships and a few relationships including one with someone I really love. I had fun in the summers as a kid and though I haven't done much traveling, I've read a lot of interesting books and thought a lot of interesting thoughts.

 

My life is far from "successful" but I am surprised to say that if I died today, it wouldn't be in vain. When my time comes, it comes. I'm ready when it happens. I really wanted to get married and have kids, but if I don't, I don't.

 

I don't need to make some grand footprint on the world because I have already made small footprints to people who have meant something to me.

 

I have felt like you have before, but now I think it's time to take perspective---see the little things in life and appreciate them! If you can't appreciate a small rose, a pretty sunset, helping out a parent, what can you appreciate?

[WomanWriter]

I want to add....the reason I have discovered feeling like you do is due to perfectionism and judgment. If you have to be perfect, you will NEVER be good enough. Keep that in mind!

[simply complicated]

I want to add....the reason I have discovered feeling like you do is due to perfectionism and judgment. If you have to be perfect, you will NEVER be good enough. Keep that in mind!

 

 

Trust me I know that is the problem, but this is one of those circumstances where knowing the problem isn't the beginning of the solution, I realize this, and am not at all bothered by it, it at times drives me, but the flip side is that it also brings me down.

 

I really wanna travel as well, and really wanna inspire people, I want people to be proud that they know me, and more importantly, I wanna be proud of myself.

I've made small accomplishments here and there, and have felt good about them, but it's not enough, and you may be right, nothing I do may ever be good enough, but the persuit of whats "good enough" is purpose enough to keep going.

There are people who've inspired me, and they to were down on themselves, but in the process, they've inspired so many people with their accomplishments, long after their gone as well.