Dealing with difficult situations...

[AJEDrew7]

Need a little advice. I've posted on here a few times about my breakup which happened about 8 weeks ago. It was a little mutual,(more her choice than mine) I was willing to accept it because our relationship was a little on a downhill and long distance (we both just got back from school this weekend). She said she loved me but she wasn't ready for the commitment, that she was too young and had a lot going on in her life. Almost a cop out but she's a little bit of a hookup * * * * . But I wanted to be the bigger person and accept and respect where she was. She at first told me she sees us together in the future. She later went on to tell me she didn't even want to think about the future and she didn't want to think about us together right now and that she wanted to concentrate on being close friends. Its been a hard road. I have my good days and bad. We talk a real lot still. I'm not over her, but I can see myself grow stronger through the breakup. What really bothers me is how much of a * * * * * she can be. She tells me about her hookups and then says this is why we have "don't ask, don't tell" when she just straight up tells me and I get annoyed and upset. She talks about missing people and being happy to see people but she never says anything about me or wanting to spend time with me now. I have been nothing but accepting of the situation (sure, I've had my needy, I want you back moments but for the most part I've been nothing but sweet and nice to her). I'm looking for females opinions mostly on this because this is what I think is going on. I don't know if any girls deal like this, but they take a situation and just be a complete * * * * * and try and make others jealous as a natural defense mechanism into dealing with a difficult situation. Whats weird is it only seems to be with me. I don't know if I'm over thinking this and should take it at face value or that its definitely possible that the situation was hard for her and that she's trying to make herself feel better about her decision by trying to push me away because right now I'm trying to still be who I've always been to her. Supportive, nice, sweet (but without trying to cling to us). I know I'm not going to change her decision, but I want her to second guess it because I want her to realize more than ever that we had something special. (Just so maybe if the time is right she'll want to try again). What do you think?

[Blue Streak]

I want her to realize more than ever that we had something special. (Just so maybe if the time is right she'll want to try again). What do you think?

 

C'mon amigo. Is it a want, or a need for you? What makes you assume it was as special to her, as it was to you? Why would you really want that? She seems to have already told you how she feels with her emotions and actions. You seem to be kinda shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Good luck. Be smart always.

[AJEDrew7]

Its a want. And I know that we had something special, though maybe more to me than her (who knows?) It must've been something special to her because she told me period she didn't do long distance at the beginning but we made it through 7 months together. We broke up, and yet she continued telling me how much she loved me a few days after. She talks to me non stop. Most of the time its good conversation, but she really has her * * * * * y moments. Its not that I'm trying to force us to get back, I'm willing to really get to know her and be her bestfriend like she wants, but its still in the back of my mind about when she comes home forever after graduating in 2 yrs. (Because she told me that she wishes we'd met 2 yrs down the road and things would probably be different if it were then..). So its not need, its want and just wanting to know where things will go if I really put time and effort into being genuine to her and respectful of how she feels.

[Blue Streak]

Because she told me that she wishes we'd met 2 yrs down the road and things would probably be different if it were then

 

As a reader, that statement sticks out more than anything else you mentioned in your prior post. You are both clearly in different positions in your lives.

 

You need to let her go. You need to find someone who is currently looking for the same things in life which you are. If you stay in the same down path you are headed, you will pay long term.

 

I am not saying it is easy, I am saying that is what is needed be correct and ultimately happy.