New feelings, same topic

[Raistlin]

Over the last year, I've made (and deleted) many threads about my ex gf. In a lot of ways, I've moved past her. I have fully realized that what we had was very, very toxic and that she never loved me the same way I loved her.

 

I understand that, and I've grown a lot and learned more lessons than I care to share at this point.

 

One recent revelation, one that I knew was coming, was that I found out she just entered into a new relationship. I've known this was coming since November last year (last time I talked to her), but still I checked her myspace to see WHEN. After 2 months, I finally did again, and found out that she has entered a relationship with a man 4 years her senior that lives 300 miles away.

 

In a weird way, I'm sad because this finally solidifies the fact that there will never be anything between us again. It pains me because even though I have tried dating for several months, I never found someone I was compatible with. But it also relieves me because I know I wont (or hope, at least) that I wont wake up to another e-mail from her that throws my world upside-down again.

 

I feel all of these things, and have no idea how to just accept this at face value and be happy for her. I couldn't get back with her even if the opportunity presented itself because there's far too much bad blood between us and none of my family or friends would let it happen, even if I went crazy again and decided I wanted her back.

 

I guess the whole point of this thread is that I'm looking for some advice on how to just accept it, stop feeling envious, and just start making headway back into my own life. I know a lot of people here have been through this before and I'd really, really appreciate some advice or insight.

[mikel01]

I know what you are saying about her changing her status. With my first ex, it took me forever to finally let him go too. I remember to this day the day that we last talked. I was driving home from going out that evening and was about the pass the exit that I would get off to go to his house. In a moment of weakness I called him. He picked up and said "hi." I said, "what are you doing?" "I'm with my girlfriend" was his response. I just went numbed. He finally did it. He found someone new. From that day forward for 7 years now I have not once spoke to him. It was a good night because I finally did let go him and us and concentrated on me. Good luck with your healing.

[Raistlin]

Thank you for posting this. It makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only person to have ever felt confused for a long time, or had a hard time letting go.

 

I want to let go. Fiercely. I'm unreasonably afraid of a future that is never happening, and holding myself back because of it. I just need to take the first step (one of many first steps, I suppose) to get away from myself, which would distance me from the confusion and would cut her completely out of the picture.

[dreamwarrior]

Hey be glad that your not my age and have to start dating all over again...it was easy when I was 20 but now it's so hard, because I am not the same person as before....although, breakups at any age really stink.

 

Sorry I cannot give you advice on love..heheh...that one is a mystery....but, you have to really love yourself and remember you deserve to have someone love you as you love her. Letting go is very very hard, I won't lie, but you will be fine.

 

Do not neglect yourself, eat, sleep, laugh, go to work, exercise, do the things in life you love to do that perhaps you couldn't do when you were with her.

 

Hon, this is YOUR life...LIVE IT !