skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 i just got tested for all STD's, including herpes-1 and 2. It was all negative on March 23. Ten days later on April 4th was the last time I was intimate with him, or anyone. Well today I notice what appears to be a cold sore on my lip. If I tested negative for cold sores (herpes-1) on March 23rd, then develop a cold sore on May 9th...and the *only* person i was intimate with this year was HIM...should i be upset at him? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 It depends. He should have told you if he had it. But if he told you and then you contracted it no you shouldnt be upset. But if he didnt bother telling you I'd be annoyed. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 It depends. He should have told you if he had it. But if he told you and then you contracted it no you shouldnt be upset. But if he didnt bother telling you I'd be annoyed. maybe he didnt know he had it. he always told me he never had it, but then he started cheating with his ex, who was also cheating with her ex...etc grrr.. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Time to be more careful in future!!! I can understand you being mad, more for the cheating AND the herpes. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Time to be more careful in future!!! I can understand you being mad, more for the cheating AND the herpes. Well post people refer to it as COLD SORE..and not herpes!! But yeah... Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Oh yeah, I also got pinworm from him. Don't ask..it's very gross. Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 You could have had it before and not gone thru seroconversion (when the antibodies show up in your blood stream) that is when you test positive. You might have got it from kissing a friend on the mouth. Has he been tested? Does he have it? If you got it from him he should test positive. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 You could have had it before and not gone thru seroconversion (when the antibodies show up in your blood stream) that is when you test positive. You might have got it from kissing a friend on the mouth. Has he been tested? Does he have it? If you got it from him he should test positive. No he never got tested. We broke up. I've never kissed anyone intimately except him. If someone has a cold sore they HAVE antibodies within 3 months...usually wirhin 30 days. I tested negative for ANTIBODIES on March 24th, and he's the only one I've been intimate with the past year. Link to comment
chianti Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 80% of the population has Herpes 1. No biggie. If you had contracted Herpes 2 you should be pissed. But Herpes 1 is no big deal. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 so i shouldnt feel "dirty" ? Link to comment
chianti Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Not from Herpes 1. Its no big deal. Trust me, I'm a doctor. Herpes 2 is the bad one that you should feel dirty about. Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 No he never got tested. We broke up. I've never kissed anyone intimately except him. If someone has a cold sore they HAVE antibodies within 3 months...usually wirhin 30 days. I tested negative for ANTIBODIES on March 24th, and he's the only one I've been intimate with the past year. kiss someone "intimately"? You can get it from a peck on the lips. Also if he didn't know he had it, he is at fault for net getting tested. But as someone in a relationship with him you should have asked that he got tested so you know the risk. Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Not from Herpes 1. Its no big deal. Trust me, I'm a doctor. Herpes 2 is the bad one that you should feel dirty about. No doctor would/should ever say that. If you are a doctor you would know health wise they are about the same. Infection wise it is much easier to give one. And no one SHOULD feel bad and dirty about it. Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 herpes 1 (oral herpes) is really common, a lot of people have it. the herpes virus has a tendency to remain dormant in your sensory nervous tissue until your immune system is compromised, making it a life-long latent virus, so you might have had it all your life but never known it. your BF probably didn't even know he had it. So don't be angry at him. check it it out on wikipedia if you are still worried: link removed Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Chances are you probably had the virus before coming into contact with him and it is just coincidental that you had the outbreak after being with him. The blood test for herpes isn't 100% so even if you had a negative result doesn't mean you didn't have the virus. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 No doctor would/should ever say that. If you are a doctor you would know health wise they are about the same. Infection wise it is much easier to give one. And no one SHOULD feel bad and dirty about it. With all due respect you're still living on planet earth? The real world? Right? People have always said: "you should double-up on condoms because she's 'dirty'"...meaning she has herpes, hiv, or some other std. Let's not pretend to live in "fairytale-theatre" land. Some doctors tell it like it is and dont sugar-coat things. Those are the doctors I respect. Then again I'm also NOT into the "polyamory/open-relationship" thing either. REAL WORLD! Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Truth is, wearing a condom isn't going to prevent herpes.. or quite a few other diseases that is just one of the risks you have to weigh when you have sex with or without a condom. Link to comment
chianti Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I'm telling it like it is. Cold sores (caused by Herpes 1) are annoying. Nothing more. Penile/vaginal sores (caused by Herpes 2) are painful and a LIFE-LONG problem. Giving birth to a kid when you have a Herpes 2 lesion can be FATAL to that kid. Herpes 2 is a LIFE-LONG STD. It sucks. There is no way to sugarcoat it. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Chances are you probably had the virus before coming into contact with him and it is just coincidental that you had the outbreak after being with him. The blood test for herpes isn't 100% so even if you had a negative result doesn't mean you didn't have the virus. Really? I thought it was close to 99% after 3 months? I will get tested gain August 10th just to make sure it's not something else. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I'm telling it like it is. Cold sores (caused by Herpes 1) are annoying. Nothing more. Penile/vaginal sores (caused by Herpes 2) are painful and a LIFE-LONG problem. Giving birth to a kid when you have a Herpes 2 lesion can be FATAL to that kid. Herpes 2 is a LIFE-LONG STD. It sucks. There is no way to sugarcoat it. HSV1 is also a lifelong disease, it really isn't much different than HSV2 (other than the area)... Cold sores I imagine can be just as painful as genital sores. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Really? I thought it was close to 99% after 3 months? I will get tested gain August 10th just to make sure it's not something else. No, the test for herpes is only 100% accurate if you are having an outbreak and they culture the sores. If you are having an outbreak you need to go in now to know for sure. Even then you can't know for sure whether or not he gave it to you. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 No, the test for herpes is only 100% accurate if you are having an outbreak and they culture the sores. If you are having an outbreak you need to go in now to know for sure. Even then you can't know for sure whether or not he gave it to you. Thank you. Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 just spoke to my mom, she is a doctor. to test for herpes 1 you look for the anti bodies. even when the virus is latant (inactive) and you don't have an outbreak the anti bodies are always present so the test should be 100% accurate... emphasis on should. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Are you sure it's even a cold sore? Not a pimple or a cut or something like that? I know I've freaked out thinking I've had a cold sore before and it turned out to be nothing. I would go get it checked out before you start accusing him of giving you anything. Link to comment
FloatingAnchor Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 just spoke to my mom, she is a doctor. to test for herpes 1 you look for the anti bodies. even when the virus is latant (inactive) and you don't have an outbreak the anti bodies are always present so the test should be 100% accurate... emphasis on should. Antibodies take time to develop. While what you've said is true, I think the point was that the test could have been done after the OP got the virus but before her body formed antibodies. OP referenced 3 months as the lag period. I don't know what the actual number is, but I know there is a window between infection time and antibody detection. Link to comment
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