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Doubts Growing


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I feel like I've been making the same kind of post again and again.

 

The past couple of weeks, it feels like the GF has been giving me trouble over basically everything. It's not that old line about 'Nothing I ever do is good enough!' Sometimes, things are okay. That said, every time we get together there will be a moment where she reacts badly and gives me a hard time about something trivial. Or there will be another moment where I try to be nice but get shut down because she's feeling stressed out or is tired or any old thing. For instance, the other night I left a get together (she never comes with me to this kind of thing) somewhat early so that I could come by and see her before she went to bed. I'd been drinking a bit, basically the first thing she asked me when I show up. So she tells me that she never wants to see me if I've been drinking and to just go home. It doesn't make you feel good to have what was basically a well-intentioned action thrown back in my face.

 

The list goes on. I ask her to take a walk with me, and she complains the whole time that it's windy (when it's brisk and beautiful day) or that she's stressed or etc etc. You get the idea. I've tried to be subtle about it, mentioning that she's been grumpy lately or that she seems to complain a bit more than usual. She agrees, but nothing changes. I'm going to sit her down tomorrow and express my concerns. My mother is coming to visit me soon and she even said, 'What will your Mom think if she sees me like this all the time?'

 

Seems like we have to talk about it. We're going to be far apart within a few months and I don't know whether to ride this thing out or make a move now and nip it in the bud...

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Sounds like she's depressed a bit. Is she just like this with you or with everyone?

 

More with me than anyone else, though she can be touchy with other people, depending on her mood.

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Well I think it's good that you're going to talk to her about it. Just make sure to use those "I statements" so she doesn't go on the offensive. Maybe there's something bothering her that she doesn't feel comfortable talking about. Maybe she's feeling depressed and is taking it out on you because you're considered a "safe" person.

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Let me know if you figure out why. I have been the same way lately and I don't even know why. I'm tired of being such a b*tch, especially to my poor boyfriend, but I really don't know how to stop.

 

We'll see what happens... As an example for today, we were going to a BBQ for her flat mate's birthday and as I'm walking out I mention that I have a football and that perhaps I should go and get it. Naturally, everyone agrees. Except for her. She gives me a frantic look and says, 'No, I don't like football! We've already got a frisbee!' I ignored her and got it anyway... I mean, honestly.

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I know that I tend to do this more when I am just generally unhappy with life. So I would suggest asking her if everything is alright and just try to be supportive and talk with her to make her understand that she needs to figure out what is going to make her happy. Be patient, but I understand that no one can be around that forever.

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I know someone who tends to ruin all her relationships by acting that way too..

 

For her I think it's partially a lack of maturity and that she's too self-focused. She doesn't realise that she's not entitled to act that way towards other people just because life is getting her down. She also doesnt take responsibility for her life and takes it out on others instead. It's lead to just a general attitude of being way too grumpy with everyone in her life - especially those she's closest too.

 

If someone finds the solution.. let me know about it too!!

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This won't be very helpful, but I have a finale of sorts...

 

I go over today with the mind that we're going to have a talk about things. She lives in a first floor flat, electronically locked doors, so I knock on her window to let her know that I'm there. She pops the latch and leans out to give me a hug. "I have good news," she says. "I'm in a good mood today. I'm not grumpy." I'm still kind of disgruntled so I say, "Oh yeah?" She nods, kisses me on the cheek and then says, "I think it's because I'm in love..."

 

So, that sort of melted me and I just kind of grumped, "Well, good. You're more fun when you're happy." And things were fine there after. I mentioned a few of things that had bothered me and we kind of chuckled through it and she said that she had a wisdom tooth coming in and that it had been bothering her. She wasn't at all like she had been, however. We joked and had a good time.

 

Sorry I couldn't help, ladies. Turned out to be a non-issue... At least for the moment!

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Let me know if you figure out why. I have been the same way lately and I don't even know why. I'm tired of being such a b*tch, especially to my poor boyfriend, but I really don't know how to stop.

 

Me too

 

I don't know, I just get grumpy sometimes and I always take it out on my boyfriend. I am unhappy about money and work a lot actually. I have always been a bit of a moody person tbh. I think we are coming out of our honeymoon period a little, maybe that's why?? Although, I am still generally happy with him and our relationship and love him a lot! Anyway, my boyfriend is sooo good to me, I feel sorry for him sometimes! I am a very stressed person, I just think that now I have someone around me a lot of time, he is getting the brunt of it and I take out my frustrations on him. If it wasn't him, it would be someone else. I hate doing it. I need to relax and not get so upset about little things.

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Oh well good for you! Me and my boyfriend also have moments where we laugh about my grumpiness and I laugh too. I am not always moody to him, we generally have a great laugh in our relationship. I think this is just the way it goes sometimes, the other person gets on our nerves, we take out frustrations on our loved ones, I used to argue and take things out on my sister, as she does me, but now its my boyfriend who gets it. He gets a bit down and serious about it at times (it must be hard though), but there really is nothing wong apart from general moodiness. I think its just the ebb and flow of relationships. Pleased for you! Enjoy this moment! lol

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