skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I asked this question earlier but only got one response. Basically I've been thinking about "signing-on" to Myspace this week but chickened out... I haven't "signed-on" since since we broke up on April 4th because I dont want him to contact me online. It was part of my NO CONTACT plan. If he's going to contact me, then he will call me. lol The thing is, he still hasnt deleted me from HIS private "friends only" myspace page. Why hasnt he deleted me anyway after all this time? I dont want to "sign-on" only to see his daily "bulletins" and updates since he dumped me for the 3rd time in a year (viciously) to "move in" (have sex) with his ex. Should I not delete him? Make him delete me. It's like a "catch 22." If I delete him, then it kinda gives him that "power" that he knows I'm not over him and still thinking about him because I went through all the effort to deliberately "single him out" to delete. But then again I dont want to read his updates everyday about "him and his ex." The only reason I want to "sign-on" to myspace is so I can search for other people to date now that I'm single. Your thoughts... Link to comment
jengh Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'd delete him. By keeping him on your list, it gives you too much temptation to stalk and see what he's up to. I don't think it shows you HAVEN'T moved on, quite the opposite really. One day, he'll go to stalk you and be like..."wow....she's gone" Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Yeah, agree, pluck up the courage to go in there, delete him and THEN go on to look at what else is out there I'm sure you'll find someone who appreciates who you are (well probably many people ) so get in there TONIGHT and leave him behind, x Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 But then it makes it official that it's really over....oh wait..uhm...err...i guess the fact that he dumped me to move-in (have sex) with his ex made that "official." I hate being in denial. Anyone have any insight as to WHY he hasn't deleted me after a month and a half? Link to comment
LilBear Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 For the same reason my ex didn't delete mine after more than a year. I'd delete his myspace and all his other contacts. Link to comment
jengh Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 But then it makes it official that it's really over....oh wait..uhm...err...i guess the fact that he dumped me to move-in (have sex) with his ex made that "official." I hate being in denial. Anyone have any insight as to WHY he hasn't deleted me after a month and a half? He still wants to keep tabs. It doesn't mean he's still interested, please don't read that much into it. He dumped you for someone else, remember that. It's also possible he simply didn't think to bother to delete you, or he has some sort of sick mentality that it'll just make you more jealous and hurt and he thrives off that. Either way, delete him. I know it sucks Hang in there. Link to comment
Laura11111 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 He's got power over you NOW...you haven't signed into your myspace account because of him. Make the decision to delete him and you get back that power. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Also he could just be lazy - I've got people on myspace from a long time in the past (inc exes) that I just haven't bothered to delete, and neither have I. Don't dwell, just move on. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 or he has some sort of sick mentality that it'll just make you more jealous and hurt and he thrives off that. I think you're right about that. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 For the same reason my ex didn't delete mine after more than a year. I'd delete his myspace and all his other contacts. What was the reason? And why didnt you delete him? Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 He's got power over you NOW...you haven't signed into your myspace account because of him. Yeah but he doesnt know that. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Also he could just be lazy - I've got people on myspace from a long time in the past (inc exes) that I just haven't bothered to delete, and neither have I. So you didnt delete some of your ex's. You just continued to sign-on? Maybe I should do the same? Plus, in the past when we broke up, he would go out of his way to not only delete me... but block me. That's why I'm confused. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I made him delete my cell phone number from his phone (right in front of me) before I would agree to give him back is tax form? lol Link to comment
LilBear Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 What was the reason? And why didnt you delete him? I deleted every single on of his contacts. I think the reason is that he wants to be friends and still wants to be in my life. He may no longer love me, but that doesn't mean I'm not a great person anymore. When I cut off all contact with my ex, it seems as if I dumped him back, he lost all the control he had over me. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Well, if you can be objective about it, fair enough, otherwise if you are checking up, analysing and so on that's not good. Think about why you want to keep him on there and if it's just to maintain status quo o.k. otherwise make the break. BTW I've NEVER contacted my exes again and neither have they - it's just interesting sometimes to see them on line, but I don't have pangs... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Checking up on people online is not really that relevant if there is no effort made to actually contact the person. Remember, people look at porn online and it doesn't mean they will go out and cheat on their partner. People carry on cyber relationships with no intention of ever meeting that person in real life. What happens in the online world is irrelevant unless a person has intentions of doing something tangible in the real world. People look up old work colleagues all the time...track what that person is up to...but never actually contact them to re-connect. The online world is about information at our fingertips..but choices can be made to act or not act on that information. There is no harm in getting information. Whatever someone else wants to read into it you have no control over...but no contact means no contact in the real world....checking up on someone in the cyberworld is just as "neither here nor there" as the dumper who says "I love you, I miss you" but has no intentions of getting back together with the ex". Link to comment
Iwantittoend Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Yes, I'd definitely delete him. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Well, if you can be objective about it, fair enough, otherwise if you are checking up, analysing and so on that's not good. Think about why you want to keep him on there and if it's just to maintain status quo o.k. otherwise make the break. BTW I've NEVER contacted my exes again and neither have they - it's just interesting sometimes to see them on line, but I don't have pangs... So I wouldnt be "in the wrong" or out of line AT ALL to delete him after what he did to me right? Im not the "bad" guy? Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 checking up on someone in the cyberworld is just as "neither here nor there" as the dumper who says "I love you, I miss you" but has no intentions of getting back together with the ex". Wow! That was brilliant!! One of the best quotes I've read on this site. It's funny you mention that because he said "I love you, but I dont want to be your boyfriend." What kind of nutcase says that to you when they are DUMPING you to "move in" with their ex! As you said, it's meaningless s*** Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 So I wouldnt be "in the wrong" or out of line AT ALL to delete him after what he did to me right? Im not the "bad" guy? Nope not in the wrong - entirely up to you - you are in control here. Depends whether you want deleting him or not deleting him to have a positive or negative effect on you - or him. Having my exes on works for me and they haven't deleted me, but I don't stress about it. Link to comment
skyblue69 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 I would feel bad if I signed on after all this time only to have HIM delete ME. lol Anyways, the only reason I would keep him on my friends list would be in the hopes of getting him to miss me and contacting me to get back together. That wont work if I delete him or stay offline? Link to comment
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