I cant feel happy without feeling guilty about it.

[iamtrying]

Hi everyone,

 

Lately the weight of the world has really been getting to me.

I am carrying it on my shoulders everyday. Im taking everyone's stress in my family into myself.

 

I cant feel happy without feeling guilty. Whenever I feel happy, I start to think about how many innocent people and animals are suffering in pain and misery around the world. And how angry it makes me, and that i cant do anything about it. And about how the top people of the world are greedy disgusting people, that only care about money and bullsh!t.

 

Or I think about how my mother and father are sad. It kills me. I think about how my family is sad, and dysfunctional. Nobody understands or it tolerant of one another. Its a complete disaster. And everyone's suffering.

 

Then I feel very upset and sad. These feelings are now binded with my feeling of happiness. So whenever I feel happiness, it fades ever so quickly. I feel selfish and guilty, I dont deserve to be happy, when all these horrible things are happening in the world. And in my family.

 

So now, whenever I think about being happy, it is a pre-requisite that I automatically start feeling sad and dark. Hopeless,stressed and alone.

 

It wouldnt be so bad, if the people in the world who actually have the power to change things - and not be such greedy worthless pigs - would change things. But they dont. And the people who want to change the world and help animals, are NEVER people in power or money. And their voice ALWAYS goes unheard and uncared about. WHY?

 

The world is sooooooooo unbelieveably ridiculously unfair, it makes me cringe and i feel very ashamed and sick to my stomach to be a part of it.

 

Im so filled with tension,worries and bitterness. Along with alot of anger.

 

Can anyone help me? Can anyone relate?

[Cuppedia]

I can relate to the point it could have been my post.

 

It's definitely not a good thing to feel responsible for the rest of the world, you're blaming yourself for something you can't change and all that is going to cause is a big depression or even anxiety and despair.

 

You're responsible for you, for your choices. If I choose to be angry (for example) and damage everything around me that is going to be the world I live in, so any change I make will affect MY world.

Seeing it as everything being part of a whole doesn't mean you alone are responsible for it but I think it has to do with how your "particle" reacts to it.

 

Try to pay less attention to the outside, I've felt that guilt and is not normal, mine came from feeling I had the power/choice to make my parents happy or unhappy because of some things I heard when I was little, and that's clearly not how things work, we can't save others and they don't need that either, every person should be allowed to grow and make their own decisions as well as learning how to deal with or even enjoying the outcome.

 

I guess I can't really be of much help because I'm still trying to figure things out myself, but you're not alone.