If love is universal...so are confusing exes...need some advice

[takiniteasy]

Hi, I've been a recent reader to these forums and they have really helped me out so far...now I hoping someone can lend some 3rd person POV. I'll try to make it as short as possible.

 

BACKGROUND:

Was introduced to my ex beginning of the year, went to same high school and her common friend. We started hanging for a month and eventually turned into a couple. Everything was good (I went t place, met the 'rents and vice versa, texted/talked morning, afternoon and night, etc).

 

BREAKUP:

After a couple of months, I got sick one week, and out of the blue, I cant get a hold of her, she wont answer my calls. At first I was cool, but after a couple of days I got a feeling (no texts or calls all of sudden). I called her up and she said nothing was wrong and tell her I wanted to see her the next day.

 

She stood me up and came later at night to my house to talk. She pretty much said she didnt want a relationship anymore and had other priorities, we talked and decided to go a little slower and see what happens and decide to go out a couple of days later.

 

She again stood me up and I decided to go out and NC her. Eventually I see a pic of this guy hugging her on her Facebook and I text after a few days that we need to talk. She pretty much says that she doesnt have the same interest in the relationship and cant go on. We decide to break up.

 

POST BREAKUP:

I decide to talk a spring vacation out of town, and I msg her via Facebook, we reply a couple of times (casual just to see what plans we have for the break). About a week later I go on IM at the same time she does, I decide to say hi (this was BEFORE ENA), we have quick chat and at the end she says "let's go out to coffee one day so you can tell me about your trip"... I answer casually that sure but no mention of a day or anything.

 

After that I decide to go NC (although still do the dumb move to check up on her facebook) and she makes comments to certain posts I make (I decided to work out and those ironically are the ones she makes reference).

 

WHERE IT GETS WEIRD:

This past weekend, she makes a comment to one of those status I put (trust me...they're not crying out to the world that I'm working out) and a couple of hours later proceeds to post some pics with the same guy I had problems with way back (from the looks of it, she got GIGS and it's the same guy). It's bad enough for me to see those pics, but for her to make a comment on my facebook prior to it, I felt it was her making sure I noticed.

 

So I decided to take all the pics off my facebook and promised myself to seriously limit the times I went into her facebook. It actually felt good and I was into day 3 of it when.....out of the blue she starts contact via IM. I answered (not sure if it was a good idea) and kept it casual. She mentioned she was off to the gym and I joked that "she better keep at it or else I might catch up to her...because I'm liking this whole working out thing (she's a gym freak). "To which she replies "nice...later we can go run together."

 

CONCLUSION:

I've been keeping at the tips I have seen on ENA (NC, work on myself, etc). I messed up on starting a rebound relationship, but saw that the only way to grow and change for me is to do it ALONE, which is why I ended the rebound, I feel like I can be alone now. But my ex is doing this confusing things, I have pretty much had NC since 3 weeks and broke it when she IM me.

I feel like I should keep the course, it feels good but I'm not going to lie, I'm still not 100% over her. Any advice as to what I'm doing is right or what are some things I could change? I hope this post wasnt too long or boring.

 

Thanks and hello from Mexico (and no, I don't have swine flu...lol)!!!

[knightingale]

Well, you need to do ACTUAL NC. So that means: stop talking to her on AIM, stop replying to any comments she might leave on facebook, don't give her any ideas that you two will "hang out" etc. On facebook, you can adjust how much you see about a person on your feed--do that. You need to act like she doesn't exist until you are 100% over her. You're doing okay, you just could do better.

 

Good luck! NC is hard. Glad you managed to avoid the swine flu.