SapphireNoir10 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I may be immature in this. But I dont see why he needs to wait at 45 if hes so sure your the one and you'll be together. Marriage is important to me, personally I wouldnt propose (maybe Im being old fashioned) but If i did and he rejected me, I'd be out the door. but thats just me. Link to comment
treehouse7888 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 honestly i wasnt really expecting a yes or no...i mainly proposed to get the idea in his head. i want him to know i would like to marry him someday. and maybe if he consider it sometime in the future he will know i will be ready and sure when he ask me.. so i thought maybe by asking him he would think about it......i just want to leave the thought in his head... btw he has never been married and i am pretty sure he is not against marriage, he even told me he would like a family someday, right now i just think he isnt ready... i was only confused because it didnt seem like a total rejection..he was very hesitant Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Honey, if he isn't ready for a family by 45, he'll never be ready! And at his age, the sooner the better or he'll be trying to pay for college for the kids while he's retired! I wouldn't assume anything if he's a 45 year old bachelor. He may like being a bachelor, and just stall women til they get sick of waiting them move on to the next woman... I'd check his past pattern to see what's going on there. Link to comment
treehouse7888 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 i dont know. only time will tell..i dont want to make any assumptions. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Sometimes you have to think ahead, think about facts and logic and what you know about this guy and what you want from your future. dont assume. Just look at the facts. Forty five is fairly late to start a family, forty five is very late to now want to think about starting one. Just be careful you dont waste a lot of your life waiitng around for a guy who will never truly be available. Dont compromise what you want. Link to comment
treehouse7888 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 ok i guess that makes sense... Link to comment
Alezia Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I'm starting to think that when I see the huge age gap (25 and 45 for example) that the man does not want to get married. He hopes that by picking someone relatively younger, he will be able to "put them on hold" for several years until they eventually leave him. Do you know if he broached marriage with his past relationships? or did he never mention any of his relationship get serious? I would definetly not count on marriage or kids with him at this point. That said, you can decide if you'd rather not have marriage and kids or not have him. If you feel that you'd be completely okay not having a proposal in the next 5, 10, 15 years and just want him then that's great as well. Link to comment
treehouse7888 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 no but he did tell me he was engaged once however nothing happened because the person died. marriage or not i would still be happy to be with him. but it would still be nice if we could have a family together. Link to comment
spinstermanquee Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 It might be helpful to have a conversation with him to find out what his position is on the all-important relationship issues like marriage, children, money, and sex. For example, if you've been with him for three years and you don't know if he would have children or not, now would be a good time to try and find out. This is the kind of information from HIM that can help you make a decision that's right for YOU. And stop for a moment dwelling on love, happiness, emotions, and think only of INFORMATION. This can help you to find out in a nonjudgemental, nonthreatening way, what you need to know. You could, when the time is right, tell him "I'm not asking you to marry me - no pressure here - but what ARE your views on marriage? What are the pros and cons, in your opinion?" "Do you think having children enhances or detracts from a relationship and in what way?" These are the types of lead-in questions that can give you a fuller picture of your future prospects with him without asking him when or if. Just my .02, hope it helps. All the best! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 yes, i agree 100% with the information gathering, and then decide if you agree or do not agree with his views. it could make everything easier to figure out. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Have you been with this man for 3 years and not talked about relationship goals? Link to comment
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