Jump to content

Recommended Posts

i proposed to my b/f a month ago and his answer was "not today" , i got really sad and he asked "why', i told him "because i want a life with you" then he said "we will still be together, we will always be together" and i told him "but it wont be me', he then says "it wont be anyone and if thier is ever anyone it would be you".. now i dont know if that means he will possibly marry me someday or he didnt know how to say no but even if he meant no for now, does a rejected proposal mean a total no and even if he rejected it for now, do you think i still have a chance or his answer could probably change? or should i just forget about it and wait? or continue to let him know i want to marry him? i'm confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My father asked my Mother to marry him several times, and she rejected him everytime, until one day she proposed to him.

 

I can only imagine how your feeling, it's kind of weird calling it rejection, when you think about it, how can you be rejected by someone your already with?

 

All I can say is, leave the topic of marriage alone until he brings it up, find something to busy your mind, I wouldn't dwell on this (easier said than done I know) but you don't wanna rush him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yea i know, but for some reason i have so much faith in him.lol we been together for 3 years and said he said he feels the same way but he's too busy with work now. and that we will always be together no matter what. the other night he was like "i love you very very much" and then i made a joke and said "but you wont marry me", he said "i'm not mad but i am going to bed" lol so i dunno...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Has anything changed in your relationship since you proposed? I'm a little confused by his answer, because I want a life with you... can't you still have a life together when you're married? However, he said not today, which sounds more like a 'I'm not ready to marry you yet, but it's gonna happen eventually... " or something along those lines.

 

A very close friend of mine proposed marriage to his girlfriend ten times - once a year - until she said yes, and they are now happily married. People turn down proposals all the time, then change their minds. Only time and patience will tell. If you really love him and you're happy with him, then don't give up hope just yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i guess i would have a serious talk with him. find out if he is against the institution of marriage, but will promise to be with you forever. or if he wants to get married someday, just not now. i would try to get a clearer view of what he wants, and then go from there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, i think if you think he will propose sooner or later (sounds like later with this guy!) and you are willing to wait, then do so.

 

if you have doubts about the relationship or how he feels about you, then i would run.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i have no doubts theres so much love between us. really. proposal or no proposal, cant run away from that!

 

If this is true, then it's quite alright to just let the marriage thing hide in a drawer for awhile. If you are still fairly young, just enjoy what you have together. I never understood the whole "we've been together for awhile, we need to get married" deal...if it's working and both of you want marriage someday, let the tide roll.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is he 45 and never married, or 45 and been thru divorce? There's a good chance that he may not believe in marriage, or had such a bad experience with it that he doesn't intend to do it again.

 

(Sorry, i hate to burst your bubble, but i know quite a few men in their 40s and 50s who will date a series of women but not marry again due to wanting to avoid another potential divorce if the got picked clean in the first one).

 

You need to talk to him to discover if he never has intentions to marry again (or at all if never married). If you can live with that fine, but you may wait a long time if he is anti-marriage. He also may not want children again at his age, another reason to avoid marriage.

 

I also know quite a few older men who will date much younger women until the woman demands marriage, then they just trade her in for another younger woman.

 

So you'll want to talk to him to make sure you know why he turned you down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...