no more looking back

[fiatyamaha]

to summarize:

 

gf lied to me. she was hiding our relationship status from another guy and vice versa. she said nothing happened and they're just friends. i broke up with her. she cried and wrote me a letter saying she's sorry, there's a lot of sweet talk saying she's never met anyone like me, i was the best bf, blah blah blah. to me it's all a lie. even if she was being honest at the that point. it no longer mattered. trust was broken.

 

i thought about getting back with her, because sex with her was good but i just can't do it. i'd rather be single than be with someone i cant trust.

[Pixiedoc]

Well, 2 points really:

 

1. WHY did she lie? Was she worried about your reaction and who is the other guy? Do you think she was cheating/was preparing to cheat?

 

2. Saying she was 'good for sex' is pretty shallow. She seems more emotionally involved than you were as she's upset and you seem not to be.

 

If that's so, look for physical relationships from now on and make it clear you are not after an emotional involvement.

 

If not, have a proper chat with her before making your mind up.

[fiatyamaha]

Well, 2 points really:

 

1. WHY did she lie? Was she worried about your reaction and who is the other guy? Do you think she was cheating/was preparing to cheat?

 

2. Saying she was 'good for sex' is pretty shallow. She seems more emotionally involved than you were as she's upset and you seem not to be.

 

If that's so, look for physical relationships from now on and make it clear you are not after an emotional involvement.

 

If not, have a proper chat with her before making your mind up.

 

she lied, that's all it takes. she confessed everything as well. not sure why you think i'm shallow. sex was good was a true statement. if i was really shallow i would've gotten back with her just for the sex, which i didn't

 

do me a favour and don't jump into conclusions so quick.

[DN]

she confessed everything as well.

What did she actually confess to doing?

[fiatyamaha]

What did she actually confess to doing?

 

a guy she sort of had a fling with wanted more with her. she said she can only be his friend but she didn't tell him about me. she and him were hanging out for 10 days together. never told me. i had to find out the hard way.

[spidey112]

I see your point, and I see pixie's. It was a pretty shallow statement, as you gave the indication that sex was the ONLY reason you would consider getting back with her. But I understand that you didn't use that as a reason to get back with her, by your last post. Fact of the matter is, trust is broken, and if and only if you think you can rebuild the trust should you give her another chance. If you feel your trust is irreperably broken, then move on, and don't give her a second thought.

[fiatyamaha]

sex did have something to do with why i liked her so much. she was also very sweet. i considered that as well when i was thinking if i should take her back. but all that seems like a lie to me as well.

[shenn]

I am having such a similar problem! My BF didn't tell a girl he was talking to and flirting with that he had a girlfriend. I was crushed! I am crushed! But, I didn't break up with him because he is soooo sorry blah blah blah. Can't trust him... Know how it feels, but I don't know what to do. I think you are in the right to break up with her. Go you! Wish I had the guts to do the same.

[Pixiedoc]

Yeah, sorry, I didnt mean to offend, just speaking as I saw it. I get it as well, have been there once with someone in similar circumstances.

 

Could you put up with her cheating on you again?

 

If not, it doesn't have a future.