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Posted

My boyfriend of 8 years and I seem to have hit a rough patch in our relationship. This patch is so bumpy, he is questioning whether we should still be together. All of this came about because I was a loser and I forced him to see me when all he wanted was one day to himself (not that we see each other everyday. We see each other once or twice a week at best). Anyway, even as I was begging him to see me, I knew that it was the wrong thing to do but I couldn't help myself. I just missed him so much. Well, I should have been able to predict that this would happen... my boyfriend now says that things between us are not so good, but he has agreed to give me the opportunity to change. I'm thankful that he's said this but I still worry that it might already be too late. That despite his agreeing to give me another chance, he has already made up his mind and decided that we won't work. Any opinons out there?

 

Also, now that he has agreed to give it another chance, where do I go from here? what's the next step? Am I supposed to leave it up to him, or make the next move? I asked him whether we could go out for dinner in the next few days, and use that event as a sort of fresh starting point, and he said yes but part of me is somewhat paranoid that he will cancel the dinner, not giving me the opportunity to prove to him that I can change. I know that this is not something I will be able to prove in one day, but it would be a start. At least to get him to start seeing me again.

Posted

Thanks for replying, Debbie. Your post made me feel better.

To answer your questions, we haven't seen each other in almost two weeks... if we do see each other on MOnday, that will mark two weeks apart. However, throughout the two weeks, we've talked a little every few days. Of course, it was me calling, mostly just to say Hi. I honestly didn't know how mad he was at me until a couple of days ago. (we got in a big fight two weeks ago). A couple of days ago is also when I asked him to give me, us, another chance, and he agreed. I don't know why I'm so paranoid that he's going to cancel MOnday's dinner. What if he does? What should I do?

 

To answer your other question about whether I've thought about whether I can cope without him. I mean, I guess I would have to learn, but if there's one thing I know, it's that I WANT to be with HIM. HE IS THE ONE. You see, three years ago, I broke up with him for about 8 months. In that time, I realized that no one's perfect, and despite his bad faults, he seems to be perfect for me. It was a VERY SLOW process to get him back, but eventually, he let his guard down - although not completely. Even now, he still has a pretty high wall up where I'm concerned.

 

I want to make sure that he understands how much I love him, and want to be with him, without sounding too desperate. But he hates having these types of "discussions" and pretty much shuts down during them. I guess that's why I"m worried he only agreed to give it another chance to quickly get me off the phone and end the discussion. I'm really anxious though, and I miss him like crazy.

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