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Viewing girls on webcams


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I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. Do you think it's worse to view a live girl on a webcam (on an officialy porn site, not talking about through IM) than it is to watch regular porn?

 

I can't work out if it is or not. I mean does it matter that she's live, and not a video? Can the viewer interact with the girl on these types of webcam? Like tell her what to do?

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My understanding is that you can request they do certain things, but only if you pay them and of course they have their own rules and boundaries and have complete control over the situation (kicking or banning abusive viewers etc).

 

Listen to me, I sound like I frequent these kinda sites

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I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. Do you think it's worse to view a live girl on a webcam (on an officialy porn site, not talking about through IM) than it is to watch regular porn?

 

I can't work out if it is or not. I mean does it matter that she's live, and not a video? Can the viewer interact with the girl on these types of webcam? Like tell her what to do?

 

I thnk there is interaction and to me it's much worse.

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I thnk there is interaction and to me it's much worse.

 

Oh yeah, from a girlfriend's perspective, definitely. I would rather my guy watch porn than watch a live girl on webcam strip for him. But for a single person, it's about the same.

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I thnk there is interaction and to me it's much worse.

 

Eh, it's a *paid* interaction. On the "performer's" part, there's likely nothing more to it than money.

 

Now, if he was doing this with some random girl he'd been, say, chatting with and it wasn't her "job"....that's a different story.

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Eh, it's a *paid* interaction. On the "performer's" part, there's likely nothing more to it than money.

 

prostitutes are also 'paid' interaction?

the more interactive, the closer it leans towards cheating imo.

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I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. Do you think it's worse to view a live girl on a webcam (on an officialy porn site, not talking about through IM) than it is to watch regular porn?

 

I can't work out if it is or not. I mean does it matter that she's live, and not a video? Can the viewer interact with the girl on these types of webcam? Like tell her what to do?

 

The wording in your original question assumes that porn is "bad". So if you are asking is live webcam girls the same as porn, then yes it is. However, not generally as "hardcore" as they tend to be on their own, although couples webcam viewing is also available.

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I'd be willing to bet big money that if you're in a relationship and she's cool with regular porn, viewing live girls on webcmas isn't going to fly so smooth.

 

Because there is no personal interaction when watching porn with the "actors". With webcam there is.

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Because there is no personal interaction when watching porn with the "actors". With webcam there is.

 

That's exactly my point. If the OP is in a relationship... he probably best scrap the live girls and go back to regular porn. If he's single he's free to do as he pleases I suppose.

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prostitutes are also 'paid' interaction?

the more interactive, the closer it leans towards cheating imo.

 

True enough.

 

Difference there is physical proximity. Someone may not have a problem with a paid web-cam girl but have a problem with an in-person prostitute. No one's brought home a disease from a web-cam interaction.

 

As for what is cheating...you really can't make an exaustive list of activities that are "cheating." I find the follow guidelines cover pretty much any situation:

 

1. You want to do something, your partner knows ahead of time and is ok with what you want to do = not cheating.

 

2. You want to do something, your partner knows ahead of time, is not ok with what you want to do, and you do it anyway = cheating

 

3. You want to do something, you don't tell your partner, since they don't know they can't grant or withhold consent, and you do it = cheating.

 

To me it all comes down to "knowledge" and "consent" of one's partner. If either or both of those elements are missing, the line's been crossed. If both knowledge and consent are present, then it doesn't matter what the activity is...it's not cheating. Because the real damage from cheating comes from the lying and resulting destruction of trust...not from a sex act.

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I disagree with this, as someone who has had controlling or overly jealous partners in the past.

 

I think, if you would be bothered by your partner doing it to you and would count it cheating coming from them = cheating.

 

I've had guys who have said to me "IF YOU GO TO THE MOVIES WITH A GUY FRIEND YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME". This is despite the fact that I frequent movies & I can usually only get guys to come out with me and I hate going alone.

 

So. I think in some cases, "what s/he don't know won't break his/her heart".

 

As for the original topic because I'm getting waaaaay off track here..

 

If there's interaction it's worse than porn to me. If he's watching and not doing anything he wouldn't do in front of me, I don't care.

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I disagree with this, as someone who has had controlling or overly jealous partners in the past.

 

I think, if you would be bothered by your partner doing it to you and would count it cheating coming from them = cheating.

 

I've had guys who have said to me "IF YOU GO TO THE MOVIES WITH A GUY FRIEND YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME". This is despite the fact that I frequent movies & I can usually only get guys to come out with me and I hate going alone.

 

So. I think in some cases, "what s/he don't know won't break his/her heart".

 

As for the original topic because I'm getting waaaaay off track here..

 

If there's interaction it's worse than porn to me. If he's watching and not doing anything he wouldn't do in front of me, I don't care.

 

actually I'd define that as cheating. I must agree with s2s. what is or isn't cheating is determined by both parties in a couple, not just the one. if your bf wasn't comfortable with you going to the movies with another guy, and you still did, I'd say that was cheating! why couldn't you talk to him about it? either make him understand somehow, or get HIM to go with you. or make more girlfriends. I'm sorry, but "what s/he don't know won't break his/her heart" is always a bad excuse.

 

plus what you said last contradicts with what you previously stated.

 

"If he's watching and not doing anything he wouldn't do in front of me, I don't care."

^well, you wouldn't go out with a guy to the movies in front of him to avoid 'breaking his heart', but you'd do it behind his back, no?

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actually I'd define that as cheating. I must agree with s2s. what is or isn't cheating is determined by both parties in a couple, not just the one. if your bf wasn't comfortable with you going to the movies with another guy, and you still did, I'd say that was cheating! why couldn't you talk to him about it? either make him understand somehow, or get HIM to go with you. or make more girlfriends. I'm sorry, but "what s/he don't know won't break his/her heart" is always a bad excuse.

 

plus what you said last contradicts with what you previously stated.

 

"If he's watching and not doing anything he wouldn't do in front of me, I don't care."

^well, you wouldn't go out with a guy to the movies in front of him to avoid 'breaking his heart', but you'd do it behind his back, no?

 

 

How does it? It was subjective to the viewing girls on cam. Watching girls strip on cam =/= going to the movies with a guy friend.

 

I don't think it's cheating if there's no emotional, sexual or physical link. A movie's just a movie. Jealousy and overprotectiveness do nothing for a relationship except break it down. I'd talk to him about it, and if he said no, I'd still go. People can't use "love" as a contract in the sense that "If you loved me you wouldn't do this". It's jealousy and protectiveness that would break down the relationship, NOT the actual act of going to the movies (or doing any other harmless thing). Also, what if a girl is bisexual? Doe shtat mean she can't go to the movies with a female friend alone, either?

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Gosh, I really *am* going to have to start giving more context.....

 

The "knowledge" and "consent" guidelines sprung out of many discussions and things I experienced and witnessed within the BDSM community. They were more meant to be applied to situations where activities of a sexual nature were transpiring....not going to the movies with a platonic friend of the opposite sex.

 

For someone to call it cheating when their SO does something like go to lunch with a platonic friend of the opposite sex smacks of insecurity. Wouldn't want to be in a relationship like that...I have too many male friends and business acquaintences based on the fact I've worked in male-dominated careers my entire adult life.

 

There has to be a basis of trust and a sense of security in oneself, one's partner and the relationship in general for those guidelines to work. Otherwise, it can easily be twisted into a method of controlling someone else's behavior.

 

If you feel you can't trust your partner around the opposite sex unless you're there to observe what's going on, you either need to get a trustworthy partner or work on your own insecurity...or maybe do both. You can't be attached at the hip 24/7/365. And that's just if we're talking a "normal" relationship....it takes a lot more work if you start talking in terms of an "alternative lifestyle" such as BDSM or polyamory or swingers or any thing that goes beyond that one man-one woman parameter.

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Hum,.. maybe we can get fused together and become artificial Siamese twins. Heck, I'm sure plastic surgery is advanced enough to do it!

 

Nah, both of you grow your hair out and then braid together.

 

It's less expensive and less permanent that way.

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While I'm perfectly okay with my man viewing regular porn, I would not be cool with him watching girls on webcam, even if they are just paid performers. It's just a bit too interactive. However, that's just my opinion, and what I deem acceptable for my relationship.

 

Other people might not care.. however I think it would bother MOST people if they saw their s/o chatting with/watching someone masturbate on webcam.

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