I can't work him out ?

[ickleblonde]

My boyfriend is a male dancer, a job he has had for 8 years now and is sick of, but needs the money.

I am really good friends with everyone who works in the club, and often spend alot of time with one of my (female) friends behind the bar.

He keeps telling me he knows i hate him doing the job, but i shouldn't be jealous of the customers as he only has eyes for me.

I have no concerns of him being unfaithful, but obvioulsy hate when the women are throwing themselves at him.

My problem is, he went mad at me because two of the other dancers talked to me while he was working, and he "kept watching me when i wasn't looking"

and wanted to know what was said. He says he's not bothered, just asking, but he obviously is or he wouldn't need to ask in the first place.

He is a very openly affectionate and emotional person, wanting hugs and kisses all the time. As soon as i show the slightest attention to him, he wants to hold my hand or kiss me and hugs me tight etc.

I'm not complaining, it's just i am not an emotional person and i find it very hard to show my feelings.

He says he knows that i love him, so i can't understand why he is like this, i would never cheat on him. Should i try being more openly affectionate with him ?

[Duckie198100]

He loves you and wants you to show that you love him too. Human beings crave affection and love for the most part, and if you aren't showing him that, it could end up being a big problem for him. He might start to think you don't really love him and want to be with him.

[jet_palero]

He says he knows that i love him, so i can't understand why he is like this, i would never cheat on him. Should i try being more openly affectionate with him ?

 

The thing about people in that profession is that they commonly see the worst of people. It makes them distrustful and insecure. Your lack of open affection is obviously going to make him wonder if you're really into him or not.

 

Regardless of how you feel about his job (which is something you two need to work out), if your partner is more affectionate than you are, then they're going to start wondering if you really mean the things you say.

 

You should make an effort to return his affection more, if not in public (perhaps it makes you uncomfortable), then increase the amount you provide in private.

[ickleblonde]

Alot of what you say makes sense. He has told me on a number of occasions how he has lost count of how many girls treat them like a piece of meat, and i've often witnessed girls screaming abuse at them when they turn the girls down (which female dancers would have security to resolve this problem) and the married one's are only out for one thing !

He seems mixed up at the moment, one minute he was angry at me when i told him i was planning a night out with my friend (the barmaid)this weekend instead of going to see him,then when when i got to the club, our plans fell through, and he admitted he'd arranged to go with his mates (to the same place as us) and now he had to it now.

To cut a long story short, we both ended up saying some hurtful things to each other, but the following day he just said i had taken what he said the wrong way and he never meant to hurt me. The strange thing is he has never been like that with me, ever, until i befriended the barmaid. Now all he says is "i didn't expect you to meet her and start going for nights out with her", and "you 're coming to see her, not me"

He means the world to me, and i would never do anything to risk losing him.