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Marriage Wearing Down?

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We met in 2002,I ended up moving in and we ended up married by 2005. Since then alot has changed obviously,I was never the marrying kind to begin with but she sold me on it. I always like to keep things 'new' by well keeping things new,I know that everything starts to wear off after time and that was echoed with everyone I ever heard from that was married.

Anyway now it's heading to the 'no sex' stage of the relationship. In the beginning she couldn't get it enough and now of course the tables are turned and I feel I have to talk her into it which I feel if the feeling ain't there it ain't there. I'm not into the charade of pretending.

We've talked about it a bunch of times and she claims there's no romance,which I maintain is coming from her end because I know myself in relationships and eventually that stuff wears off. Perhaps that's why I've had very few long term relationships,I would subconsciously push them away because I was afraid they'd eventually find out what a cad I was or something.

She likens me to some corporate stiff that treats things like a business...except I don't have the actual money to complete that image^

Perhaps my ideal relationship would be that of occasional company of a lady...something always new,but nothing too deep because apparently I don't know how to do a long term deal.

Also I think she likes a bit of a challenge herself as she always talks about flirting,so perhaps we're the same it's just she doesn't realize it but wants to try and have a 'traditional' type marriage anyway.

All I know is this doesn't look good for the future,we've tried separation but seemed to miss each other a bit so apparently there's something to hang onto. Maybe it's just we've gotten so used to each other,I don't know.

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It's fairly obvious that both of you are unhappy with the present situation. It seems like both of you have simply stopped trying and just given up. It's like it's all too much work and neither side wants to make the effort to fix it.


I can only suggest you both try marriage counselling together, or seperately. I think it will be of great benefit to both of you.


As it stands right now, I don't see your marriage lasting of being very happy in the future without the two of you making an effort to fix the problems and acknowledging that there are issues on both sides. It's either seek professional help, make an effort, or get divorced.


Good luck.

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