When they are on the other side of the planet...

[melatonin]

Hello all

 

I broke up (amicably) with my girlfriend of 5 years last December. She left in September to teach English in China, and I visited her there for two weeks in November. We finished on December 9th.

 

Without going into the details, I did it by email - her computer was broken so we had no skype. She didn't mind that - she had been expecting it.

 

We have been in contact many times since, through IM and email, and once via skype voice. I have heard her voice once since we broke up.

 

I'm finding it very difficult to deal with not being able to speak to her, even just to talk about the breakup, to say our goodbyes or even to argue about it.

 

There's just no opportunity to, and I feel like my life is moving on by default rather than because I am healing, and as a result this is simmering under the surface in a way I can't deal with. If it is completely over, I want to see her face and hear her voice say it - she is/was my best friend for years, and I think that's the least we deserve. It's not her fault we can't speak, but I feel I cannot move on until we have this conversation.

 

How do you disconnect when there is no closure? She is all the way over there, in another world, and I can have no contact with her and I have no part to play in her life now, just as she has no part to play in mine. It is heartbreaking.

 

It has been quite a long time now (5 months) but it may as well have been yesterday - i am living in a kind of limbo, almost waiting for her return or for some kind of contact.

 

Any thoughts on a long distance break-up of this kind?

[Mutley]

My thoughts are that I wouldn't waste anymore time on it. It's over and done. Why worry about it.