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Can A Straight Guy have Gay Feelings? HELP!


doctorwhoash
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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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I am very confussed about my best friend. I have been in love with my straight best friend for the last three years. He doesn't know that I am gay. He has a girlfriend, but I know there is something between us.

 

He likes to flirt a lot, but is always insisting he isn't gay, however, we have moments.

 

A few weeks ago, we had both had a beer and we were in my bedroom, and he was on the phone to his girlfriend. I was lead on my bed. When he got off the phone he led down next to me and somehow we ended up holding each other.

 

Then we started asking each other 'gay' related questions. I asked him 'what would you do if I started giving you a blow job right now?' and he said 'i'd take it like a man, and enjoy it'! This really confussed me. We continued to drink and we got even closer.

 

By this time I was a bit drunk and I started saying: 'I love you! You are my best friend' and he said 'I love you too, but not in a gay way, in a lusty-love way'

 

He held my hand and our fingers locked, but he let go. We were both falling alseep and we kept moving and getting closer. He put his leg over me and asked me to stroke his hair, because he liked it. So I did. We led that way for hours until we fell asleep. Then I woke up and I put my hand on his crotch and started rubbing, but he rolled over.

 

The next day he pretended like nothing had happened!

 

 

A few days later I was at his house and we were watching a DVD, we were sat under covers (it was really cold) and I put my head on his shoulder, he said 'that's a bit gay' but he didn't ask me to move it. He kept moving so that i kept getting closer to him, and we stayed like until the DVD finished.

 

He tells me things that he doesn't tell anybody else, personnal and sexual related things, but he only seems to loosen up when he gets a bit drunk...

 

I am very confussed and I don't know what to do! He is sending off all these signals! Is it possible for a straight guy to have feelings for a guy in a way that they don't even know how to act upon? He said he loved me in a lusty-love way. He is constantly saying he isn't gay, and I don't think he is, but is it possible for him to have feelings for me?

 

Has anyone got any advice?

 

 

 

Ash

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Whether he's straight or gay, he has a girlfriend. The possibility for you to get hurt over this is huge.

Having said that, I think the line between a really close friendship and romantic love can sometimes get a little blurry. So what really matters here is if your friend would actually want to be in a same sex relationship.

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We have been close for years, but recently he has started getting 'closer'. I understand he has a girlfriend but i don't think it is serious. I'm only in high school, and yet I know that I will never have a friend like this ever again.

 

I really don't know what to do

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We have been close for years, but recently he has started getting 'closer'. I understand he has a girlfriend but i don't think it is serious. I'm only in high school, and yet I know that I will never have a friend like this ever again.

 

I really don't know what to do

 

It may not be serious, but do you want to risk that? He might decide to become serious with her after all.

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i think he is curious..and i also think he has always sensed that you like him...you just know these kinds of stuff..

 

and talking about blowjobs with your guy friends that doesnt involve women but the two of you?...hmmm...he knows...he is bi-curious...the booze is just a cover up to do what he really wants to do.

 

But as another poster said..you are most likely going to get hurt..so be prepared

 

But i suspect you will have at least one horny moment with him...

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Is it possible for a straight guy to have feelings for a guy in a way that they don't even know how to act upon?

 

Sexuality tends to be fluid.

 

The fact remains though that he chooses to id as straight.

 

And he has a girlfriend. That he chose to have.

 

The fact that these things tend to happen when he's drunk just mean that he's looser when he's drunk. Most people are, which is why lots of people have done things they actually didn't want to do when they are drunk. Being capable of doing something doesn't mean you would choose it to have really happened.

 

If I were you, I'd start looking in other places for romance and just recognise what a good friend you have in him.

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I understand what you are all saying, but it is hard to explain. I have never been as close to anybody in my life! I know he has a girlfriend, it's not like i'm hunting him down and dragging him away from her. He is the one that makes most of the advances. Like that night when we just led holding each other, he was the one who came and led next to me.

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He is straight, but he likes the attention. I find his actions at the very least low morally on a number of levels. 1) He has a girlfriend, he shouldn't be toying, flirting around with you. 2) He is toying with your emotions for his own personal enjoyment. He doesn't sound like the type of guy I would want to get close to. He's either ignorant or a pig, I doubt if he is gay, but a guy like that, who cares?

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I agree with the other posters, you're setting yourself up for some major hurt.

 

He is using you to fulfil his needs as a bi-curious guy, and you're craving for a proper relationship, which you won't get from him. You could either put a stop to all of it and find romance elsewhere, or at the very least make up your mind that you can never have him in the way you want to, and that what-you-see-is-all-you-got when it comes to having some fun with him. There's nothing wrong in enjoying those moments with him, but if you keep thinking maybe you have a chance, you're gonna end up hurt...sorry...

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he probably knows ur gay, but he doesn't mind, cos he's a good friend.. maybe,

howevs, straight guys usually play around, so don't get too caught up about it,

you totally should've given him a blow, that wouldve been awesome,

you should do that next time u guys are drunk

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I think Folie a Deux is thinking like me. I think he does know i'm gay, but I don't think it makes much difference to him. He does enjoy playing around with me, but i enjoy that! He is coming to mine and stopping over tomorrow so I will see where things go from there...

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I have decided that I am going to try something tomorrow. Has anybody got any tips or advice? If you are gonna go on about 'he has a girlfriend' thing then please don't bother...

 

 

I am not sure what you want from us. If you want me to say it is ok to screw around behind the girlfriends back because it is only your enjoyment and happiness that matters, I am not going to do that.

 

I guess the only thing that's important is for you to get your rocks of with this guy, well have fun I guess? Why did you post to this forum? I'm just asking.

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I posted up in this forum because I thought somebody would understand, but no one could look past the girl friend thing. If I had missed out that he had a girl friend then you would have all said different things. Only one person really gave me advice, the rest told me to stay away from the person that i love...

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The first thing you have to accept is that not every guy you crush on is going to be/ identify as gay... It's unfortunately a sad fact of life. the only way you will truly know whether this will go any where is to tell him that you love him. Tell him how you feel. If his feelings are mutual then great! If not, move on and let him go.

 

I posted up in this forum because I thought somebody would understand, but no one could look past the girl friend thing. If I had missed out that he had a girl friend then you would have all said different things

 

The only reason the other posters made reference to his girlfriend is that he has chosen to be in a relationship with her, not you. And it is a clear sign that he will most likely not want to form a homosexual relationship at this stage of his life. A lot of us have been in this situation before (unrequited love) and we just want to keep you from getting hurt, so please don't take offense to our posts, we just want to help. sorry if we didn't give you the advice you wanted.

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If he shows interest in other GUYS (and has a girlfriend), I would say it could be possible he's BI-curious.

That said, no matter what he is, he has a girlfriend and you should respect that and stay away from trying to get him interested in you.

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He is disrespecting his relationship with his girlfriend, and he is disrespecting her. He is also disrespecting you by playing with your feelings. Do you see that?

 

He may be bi-curious - but he isn't single - and he is disrespecting two people who care for him. Yuck!

 

Messing around with people who are not single can get ugly...very ugly. Are you prepared for all possible consequences? Have you really thought this through?

 

The stove is hot - but if you want to touch it, it will be your burn to take of.

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I posted up in this forum because I thought somebody would understand, but no one could look past the girl friend thing. If I had missed out that he had a girl friend then you would have all said different things. Only one person really gave me advice, the rest told me to stay away from the person that i love...

 

i say go for it, don't let these * * * * * es stand in your way \\

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