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My relatioship ended August of 2008 when my ex girl friend (28 years old) broke up with me (23 years old). We were dating for 2 years and we were both in love and we both were head over heels with one another. We were like best friends and were very comfortable with one another. I realized that I wasn't seeing my friends and family and I was always with her 24/7 so I spent an extra day or two with my friends and family instead of her and that was the reason for her to break up. Well we were still seeing each other and hooking up from August til the day after Valentines day. In my mind I thought that we would get back together because we were still having sex. I was soo wrong.

 

Well she finally told me that she was dating someone after I had to pull it out of her. This was back in Feb. Well her new boyfriend just became recently divorced after a year and a half of marriage (He is 30). He walked in on his wife cheating on him. I was completed crushed over this. She was my first love. I went through all of the stages and I am finally trying to get over this whole mess.

 

I stopped talking to her, email, texting for about a month. We work at the same company and there is a chance that she would need to call my department to complete a transaction. At first I told her that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence and that his wife left him for a reason. I also told her that she will regret not giving us a second chance. She was like your right I will regret this. Well he made her go on her face book and change the status to in a relationship and we went through her phone and read my texts. I am guessing this is because he is insecure of what happened to him last summer with the divorce.

 

Well I stopped talking to her, emailing, her and texting her. After a month she happens to call and get me on the phone at work (there are other people in my department that answers the same line) and gets me. I did the transfer for her and she asked how I was and how I have been doing. I just gave her a very short answer and didn't ask how she was doing and kept it short and sweet. Well I get an email from her after the phone call and she said "I hope you dont have me".

 

Another month goes by and I get her again on the phone and she tells me that there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't think about me, that she has pictures of me up in her house. That she gets butterflies in her stomach when she hears my voice. She also said that she fights with her new boyfriend about me all the time about me. She also made a comment that if she was single she would give us a second chance. She also mentioned that she dreams about me all the time. Well I took this as a sign that she wanted to get back together.

 

So I go over to her hosue that night and she shows me the pictures up in her bedroom of me and her. She said that she wakes up every morning and looks at them. I told her about her new boyfriend how he has been flirting with all these other girls and actually accepted a date with one of them which I stopped. I told her that I loved her and that I only care if she is happy and don't want to see her get hurt. Well after 2 months of them dating, she tells me that he has already asked her to move in with him and that he wants to have kids. He made a comment to her that he is going to knock her up one of these times.

 

She said that she is confused and needs more time. I asked her to really think about what she wants to do cause I am done waiting. 2 months is enough and I am almost at the point of no return.

 

I just don't know why she is with him if she is saying all of this to me. He is clearly on the rebound and with her being his first girlfriend from a divorce, they dont' normally last. She is also rebounding because he is the first boyfriend since us. She tells me that she loved me more than her previous boyfriend of 10 years. I just don't know what to do at this point to make her realize that he doesn't have her best interests. Can someone help me understand what is going on and what I need to do to make her try to get back together with me?

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To be honest, I think she's messing with your mind. She's with the other guy, but then shows you pictures all over her bedroom of you and her together, etc etc. I get the impression she likes the fact that you're still wanting her - it feeds her ego. It's like she wants the best of both worlds - the other guy and knowing you want her too.

 

I could be way off base, but if I were you, I'd run in the other direction and never look back. I understand you're hurting, but would you really want a future with this woman who broke up with you just because spent an extra day or two with your friends and family? Think about it.

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To be honest, I think she's messing with your mind. She's with the other guy, but then shows you pictures all over her bedroom of you and her together, etc etc. I get the impression she likes the fact that you're still wanting her - it feeds her ego. It's like she wants the best of both worlds - the other guy and knowing you want her too.

 

I could be way off base, but if I were you, I'd run in the other direction and never look back. I understand you're hurting, but would you really want a future with this woman who broke up with you just because spent an extra day or two with your friends and family? Think about it.

 

Agree entirely. This is pretty controlling behaviour and typical from someone who wants to keep more than one person hanging on, waiting in the wings etc.

 

It's also a bit weird and I would wish her on her way as quickly as possible and move on. I know it's much easier to say than do but in the long run you need someone honest and straightforward - and it certainly doesn't seem that she is that. Take care.

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I am finally getting to the point where I can accept it and move on. Just met another girl last week. We knew each other for almost a year and finally started hanging out and going on a few dates. She even waited until Friday at midnight to call and wish me a happy birthday. My ex texted me a happy bday text but I didn't even respond to it. I have read that in order to get your ex back you need to move on.

 

If you look at it like like a 3 year old playing with a toy for an hour. After then hour it gets bored of it and tosses it to the side (Like a breakup in a relationship) and picks up a new toy. Well now another 3 year old comes along and grabs that same toy the first 3 year old was playing with. Now all of a sudden the first 3 year old wants that old toy that it use to have but didn't want anymore. Weird how we think.

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Well its been two weeks and I got an email from her today.

 

"How is everything Gabe.. How do you feel being 23? Did you have a great b-day and did you get my b-day text?"

 

Sent another right after that without a reply from me.

 

"I quite smoking!! I haven’t had one in 3 days and all set with it.. I also had the flu and that helped me quit. I told Marc that if he didn’t quit then I don’t think it would work"

 

"lol.. He said he will quit so we will see.. I will leave you alone now J have a great day and I will get that CD made for you. Hope all ur fam is doing well.. Tell Jerry I said hi for me"

 

I responded with:

 

"Hey, I just got back. I blocked my mom in with my car in front of the garage. I had to leave and come back. She is going to pick up my brother at school today. I just got a call from her at 9:40. I made it home on the bike in 12 mins. Moved the car and then back to work in another 20 mins.

 

Being 23 doesn’t feel any older. I had a great time on my birthday. Thank you for the birthday text even though you sent it on a Thursday and it wasn’t until Saturday. But I can say you were the first one to wish me a happy birthday J. I have been having a good time. Did you see the trophy? Vegas here we come.

 

That’s great that you quit smoking. When I got the flu back on last March that is what got me to quit. Stay strong. I hope it works out for you. I will tell them that you said hello. I hope your doing well."

 

She replied:

 

"Yep seen the trophy.. Heard all about it.. Great job.. I also heard that there are going to be a lot of changes on the pool team!!

 

Glad you had a wonderful b-day and also ur having a great time in life out of all people u deserve it

 

Also heard about the new girl and hope she makes you really happy as u made me at one point

 

Take care Gabe"

 

After that I didn't reply as much as I really wanted to. I kind of feel like she was trying to get a reaction out of me. Then 20 mins later she sent another email

 

"You want all the pic’s of us on that CD?"

 

How do I respond to this? I don't know what she is trying to get at. I am kind of 50 50 with wanting to get back with her and the other half of me is happy this this new girl I started dating.

 

Just stuck and not sure what her motives are.

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