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I feel so unattractive....


shy2cool

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12 Reasons You Can Find Love
12 Reasons You Can Find Love

I never meet any new girls. I don't even know where to meet new girls. I've had NO luck with online personals - nobody even looks at my profile. I just feel that I will NEVER meet anybody. Being single for so long, it's very hard to break out of this mindset.

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....(sigh)...Dude...(sigh).....(shaking my head)......Less some diformaty or weird physical condition you are not unattractive. You are lazy!!!!

 

If you truly feel that you are unattractive than do something about it.

 

If you dress lame, fix it. If you are fat, fix it. If your hair style sucks, fix it. If you are not sure what about you is unattractive, then find someone that can be honest with you. Email me pics I'll let you know.

 

If you don't know how to talk to girls, fix it. no one is looking at your online profile, fix it.

 

You see where I am going here? This stuff is easy. You need to reconize what you are doing wrong and handle it. I understand that you are in the dumps it is hard to get out of a funk. But you really only have two options here:

 

A) Continue to live a your life feeling bad and being lonley OR....

 

B) Get out there and fix it!!

 

Come on bro be a man and handle it. It's not hard to do.

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not to mention, looks has SO little to do with it!

You sure about that? let me guess, confidence. Let's say that he doesn't look good or doesn't appeal to the eye of a great deal of women but he has other qualities they look for. Does he really have a chance? Do looks really have little to do with it?

 

And forgive me for asking this, but have you struggled with your looks and if so, what did you do about it. I can't help the original poster because I am in his situation, but I think a success story about how looks didn't matter helps him and guys like us instead of saying looks have little to do with it. I know he, me and plenty of guys and girls in the same mental boat roll our eyes with a 'yeah right' when we hear that, since we see all around us that it's not true.

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but I think a success story about how looks didn't matter helps him and guys like us instead of saying looks have little to do with it. I know he, me and plenty of guys and girls in the same mental boat roll our eyes with a 'yeah right' when we hear that, since we see all around us that it's not true.

 

I see around me every day that it IS true. Average looking people, below-average looking people, and unattractive people out on dates, getting married, and procreating. Do you honestly think that attractive people are the only ones dating, getting married, or having sex? Go to a bar or a movie theatre on a weekend night, you will see all the evidence you need.

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I see around me every day that it IS true. Average looking people, below-average looking people, and unattractive people out on dates, getting married, and procreating. Do you honestly think that attractive people are the only ones dating, getting married, or having sex? Go to a bar or a movie theatre on a weekend night, you will see all the evidence you need.

I didn't say that, in fact those are the people who I think will help us the most. What is it about them? Are they the person's type? Did they really use confidence? Are the rich even though they don't look it? What was their approach? Why didn't they change their looks if they are deemed unattractive by most? And the problem is that everyday we see otherwise, at least me. I can't speak for the OP. If I see an unattractive guy with a woman, I wonder if I would've had a chance. Then I wonder what he did to get her.

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I didn't say that, in fact those are the people who I think will help us the most. What is it about them? Are they the person's type? Did they really use confidence? Are the rich even though they don't look it? What was their approach? Why didn't they change their looks if they are deemed unattractive by most? And the problem is that everyday we see otherwise, at least me. I can't speak for the OP. If I see an unattractive guy with a woman, I wonder if I would've had a chance. Then I wonder what he did to get her.

 

yes they used confidence. they were comfortable in their own skin and didn't give up probably. they weren't the wallflower scared to approach a girl or so scarred from being rejected before.

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You sure about that? let me guess, confidence. Let's say that he doesn't look good or doesn't appeal to the eye of a great deal of women but he has other qualities they look for. Does he really have a chance? Do looks really have little to do with it?

 

And forgive me for asking this, but have you struggled with your looks and if so, what did you do about it. I can't help the original poster because I am in his situation, but I think a success story about how looks didn't matter helps him and guys like us instead of saying looks have little to do with it. I know he, me and plenty of guys and girls in the same mental boat roll our eyes with a 'yeah right' when we hear that, since we see all around us that it's not true.

 

Yes, I'm sure about that. I'm much more attracted to conventionally 'ugly' guys. I like them for their personality, mind, attitude.

 

Yes, I have struggled with my looks. But, I would rather be ugly than stupid or uninteresting.

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Yes, I'm sure about that. I'm much more attracted to conventionally 'ugly' guys. I like them for their personality, mind, attitude.

 

Yes, I have struggled with my looks. But, I would rather be ugly than stupid or uninteresting.

Guys like us always ask where girls like you are. If everyone except the object of my affection calls me ugly, then I'm happy. Trouble is she doesn't. She never has. Mutual attraction is not easy when you're unattractive. It's like a lotto. Stupid and uninteresting loses in the long run. Unattractive doesn't get the chance. I feel like there's not enough time to attract someone initially but plenty of time for her to fall for someone else and wonder why she ever sees in my aside from my personality.

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I think you are underestimating the power of personality and perhaps overestimating your own personality. Unattractive people do not have good personalities by default -- it's not a consolation prize given to those who didn't strike "gold" physically.

 

That's the thing that perplexes me, I see all these self-proclaimed unattractive people talking about how personality doesn't matter...but I wonder how many of them stop to ask whether or not their personality is even interesting or an asset. You can't knock the power of something you may not have.

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I think you are underestimating the power of personality and perhaps overestimating your own personality. Unattractive people do not have good personalities by default -- it's not a consolation prize given to those who didn't strike "gold" physically.

 

That's the thing that perplexes me, I see all these self-proclaimed unattractive people talking about how personality doesn't matter...but I wonder how many of them stop to ask whether or not their personality is even interesting or an asset. You can't knock the power of something you may not have.

No this is the one area I'm incredibly sure about. Personality is a strength, sense of humor almost like a weapon, but it's like they don't count. Shyness is an issue but it doesn't mis-define my personality.

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Guys like us always ask where girls like you are. If everyone except the object of my affection calls me ugly, then I'm happy. Trouble is she doesn't. She never has. Mutual attraction is not easy when you're unattractive. It's like a lotto. Stupid and uninteresting loses in the long run. Unattractive doesn't get the chance. I feel like there's not enough time to attract someone initially but plenty of time for her to fall for someone else and wonder why she ever sees in my aside from my personality.

 

Well, it's just like girls asking where are all the good guys are. Good guys and girls are everywhere, but since you're so hung up on certain things, you probably don't see a good thing even if it's right in front of you.

 

What is attracting you to this specific woman? If she thinks you're ugly and won't give you a chance, why bother with such a shallow woman? Or Can your personality be worked on? Some guys will just blame their lack of luck with women on things like looks to avoid discussions as to why they actually fail. Sometimes, it has to do with their insecurity, lack of ambition, etc.. Things that can be fixed as long as you're willing.

 

A personal anecdote,

I'm very attracted to this guy that isn't exactly brad pitt. I always go on and on about how hot he is to my friends. To me, he is ideal. When they saw him, they were all pretty perplexed. He isn't a looker, objectively speaking. His personality and attitude are what attracts me.

 

Most people don't meet their s/o off the streets. They don't take one look at the other person and decide that's who they're going to date. It does happen, but not very often. People often meet their s/o in some sort of social interaction. Through these interactions, your personality should shine. Looks could get you into the door, but it doesn't happen for most people. Most guys that approach me on the street don't get my number, regardless of how attractive physically they may be.

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I never meet any new girls. I don't even know where to meet new girls. I've had NO luck with online personals - nobody even looks at my profile. I just feel that I will NEVER meet anybody. Being single for so long, it's very hard to break out of this mindset.

For starters, consider that there are more women than men on this planet. So already, the odds are in your favor.

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No this is the one area I'm incredibly sure about. Personality is a strength, sense of humor almost like a weapon, but it's like they don't count. Shyness is an issue but it doesn't mis-define my personality.

 

Shyness is a killer. Sense of humor like a weapon...so in a group full of people you're the guy making everyone laugh?

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You sure about that? let me guess, confidence. Let's say that he doesn't look good or doesn't appeal to the eye of a great deal of women but he has other qualities they look for. Does he really have a chance? Do looks really have little to do with it?

 

And forgive me for asking this, but have you struggled with your looks and if so, what did you do about it. I can't help the original poster because I am in his situation, but I think a success story about how looks didn't matter helps him and guys like us instead of saying looks have little to do with it. I know he, me and plenty of guys and girls in the same mental boat roll our eyes with a 'yeah right' when we hear that, since we see all around us that it's not true.

 

This is true. Most girls will say that looks don't matter as much as you think. Blah blah blah.... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but with that said. Of course looks matter.

 

All of us subconsiously screen for healthly attributes in the other sex. Looks matter, it is programed into each and everyone of us.

 

But very, very, few people are inherently ugly. And in this day and age you can fix anything.

 

Four years ago at age 24 I was 140lbs soaking wet. (I am 6'1 btw) My hair was reduced to scraps. (I almost looked sickly) My teeth were downright awful, yellow and crooked as can be. And I dressed like crap. My GF left me and I could not get a girl to save my life. Plus I had a crapy job. What is more unattractive than that? So what did I do?

 

I hit the gym put on about 15lbs , I shaved my head, I got braces, I spent time finding the right "style" for me. I changed my wardrobe completely. I worked very hard to get a good job.

 

It was a long road. It took me over a year to get the job I wanted. I had braces for over 2yrs and finally got them off about 6 months ago and then got my teeth whitend.

 

As a matter of fact I posted on here about the changes I was making when I was going through all of this. You can look it up.

 

I look totally diffrent now. If I could put pics up on here I would.

 

You guy's can fix this stuff. I am 110% sure of this. You just have to put the computer away and go do it. Otherwise get used to being depressed.

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All you have done most of the thread is complain, despite some constructive suggestions. So my challenge to you is - What will you do about it? Sit there and lament and continue to play victim? Or empower yourself, make positive changes, and go after what you want?

 

Guys like us always ask where girls like you are. If everyone except the object of my affection calls me ugly, then I'm happy. Trouble is she doesn't. She never has. Mutual attraction is not easy when you're unattractive. It's like a lotto. Stupid and uninteresting loses in the long run. Unattractive doesn't get the chance. I feel like there's not enough time to attract someone initially but plenty of time for her to fall for someone else and wonder why she ever sees in my aside from my personality.
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Lol.

 

People on this forum are so convinced that no one that is lurking on this site could possibly be ugly enough to send women running.

 

Looks matter.

 

It's not that. No one denies that, what people deny is that guys like this are relatively rare. Someone whose appearance is so unsightly that I can't even tolerate their presence? That's rare.

 

What I am amazed by is that every single unattractive guy is deadset on the fact that his personality is amazing and that nothing but his looks could be the issue.

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People on this forum are so convinced that no one that is lurking on this site could possibly be ugly enough to send women running.

 

Looks matter.

Let's assume that's true. There aren't enough attractive guys for the entire female population, so there must be some women left over for ugly guys, no?

 

Or is the argument the ugly/lonely guys are making that they'd rather be lonely than date a not-so-hot girl?

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It's not that. No one denies that, what people deny is that guys like this are relatively rare. Someone whose appearance is so unsightly that I can't even tolerate their presence? That's rare.

 

What I am amazed by is that every single unattractive guy is deadset on the fact that his personality is amazing and that nothing but his looks could be the issue.

 

People with amazing personalities are much more rare than amazing looks; yet there are a lot of amazing looking people dating other amazing looking people though.

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Let's assume that's true. There aren't enough attractive guys for the entire female population, so there must be some women left over for ugly guys, no?

 

Or is the argument the ugly/lonely guys are making that they'd rather be lonely than date a not-so-hot girl?

 

Smaller scale.

 

5 guys in a room with 5 women. Typically each sex wants the best of the group, some would rather be alone.

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