i don't want my insecurity to ruin this relationship

[jenm]

I've been with my bf for about 6 months. it's been long distance the whole time, but we were good friends (living in the same city) for a couple of years before we started dating. He's moving to the city where I am in about 5 months, so there's an end in sight. So far things have generally been great. We get along really well and have a lot of fun together, and the chemistry/passion is there too.

 

Lately, though, I've found myself being really insecure, and it's caused some problems with us. I think my insecurity comes from the fact he's so independent, and that he has so many close female friends (he's one of those guys who really gets along better with women), and maybe from the fact that he *never* seems insecure about anything. Maybe it's the fact that he doesn't really seem to need me, or rely on me, in the same way that i feel i need him. He has no shortage of interesting, attractive female friends who probably have a bit of a thing for him. It's not that I don't have male friends, or that i couldn't hang out with other guys all the time...i guess it's that i don't really want to.

 

i feel like i'm explaining this badly. i don't really know what i want to say. i guess it's just that i can feel these insecurities pulling at me, and they're making me resent him in a weird way, but he hasn't actually done anything wrong, or anything to make me suspicious or untrusting.

 

these feelings used to just be private ones -- in his eyes, i was super confident. but just recently there was an episode where i acted really insecure and jealous, and now i feel like he knows about this side of me and it's making him see me (and us) differently. i don't want to ruin this.

 

any insights? anyone else felt this way? what did you do?

[pumpkinmoon]

I think that if he is giving you the attention hat you need and his actions towards you haven't changed and he is still loving and into the relationship then you have nothing to worry about. Maybe it's the fact that it's long distance that is making you feel this way.

[Casey13]

Try to tough it out for another 5 months until he moves back to be with you in person and Im sure this will help you feel more secure. Probably a majority of your insecurity is influenced by the fact that he is far away from you and your mind wonders. When he lives in your town and sees you on a regular basis things should get better.