spoke to the ex for the first time in awhile....

[j44]

probably shouldn't have, she was calling and calling so i just decided i would answer, we talked maybe 30-45 minutes, talked bs, she just seemed so different, she wasn't the person i remembered, she has a new group of friends, they seem kinda like losers... she drinks.... and got her belly button pierced, this is from someone who said she was very conservative, she seems to be whoever she is around, maybe she was always just what she thought i wanted her to be.

 

she said she would call me today, but you know i really don't want to talk.... i have nothing to say, i don't really want to know about her life.... i thought i did, until she told me.

 

it's hard to think that the girl i cared for for so long is gone.....

 

i haven't changed because i was always myself, the only thing that has changed is i see her in a different light,

 

she told me she still loved me, but you know that means nothing without actions behind it.

 

i honestly still love her, but could it ever really work, i mean she is different, i am never going to see her again, as she is far away, what is the point of small talk.

[fiatyamaha]

she told me she still loved me,

 

sorry man but it was a lie. just move on. forget about her. if not you're just torturing yourself.

[j44]

yeah your right, i guess even though i have been moving on, i have been keeping hope in the back of my head, its just so strange when you talk to someone you thought you knew so well and feel like you never knew them at all...

[becca0194]

Maybe this is what you needed to get that out of the back of your head and truly move on. I know it must be disappointing, but the positive is you can perhaps completely let go now.

[j44]

yeah you are right, i feel bad ignoring her, because i do want to talk to her, i just don't know anymore.....

[becca0194]

yeah you are right, i feel bad ignoring her, because i do want to talk to her, i just don't know anymore.....

 

you can always leave the door open and say that right now, it is better for you not to talk. It's honest and you could contact her in the future if you do feel the need.

[Brownstone322]

i honestly still love her, but could it ever really work, i mean she is different, i am never going to see her again, as she is far

away, what is the point of small talk.

Been down that road before. Sometimes people go through a cycle and ultimately return to their real identity. Most times, in fact.

 

Until then, I agree ... just let it go.

[longdist]

I felt the same way when I met up with my ex. She isn't the person she used to be. It almost hurts more knowing that the person you once loved is gone... not just physically. I tried to keep contact a couple of times after the meeting, but her responses were just awkward and uncharacteristic of her. So, I started moving on back to NC, but left the door open.

[j44]

thanks for the advice it has been really helpful, the one thing i notice though is as time goes on the confidence has come back so i am able to keep a distance and be carefree and its helping in all aspects of my life, its a great feeling when you stop waiting for the call or message, that is when they come it seems like, and yeah im pretty sure she is going through a cycle, i mean she was always very conservative, i'm basically going to take it as it comes, one good thing is we have been broken up for 7 months and obviously she still feels something towards me, i mean she contacts me a lot.

[Brownstone322]

Lemme clarify what I wrote. All people change (you, me, everybody), but we do so in an incremental, thoughtful way. When people change drastically and suddenly, it's probably temporary, especially if they've had a traumatic event in their lives or if they're running in new social circles. You may not reconnect with her, but I suspect that, in time, she'll revert back to someone you recognize and understand. Time is the great equalizer.

[j44]

yeah i understand what you mean it was a total shock to here belly button ring.... i mean most girls i wouldn't care but it was how conservative she was and then the people she is hanging with the things she is doing, kinda shocking.