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OK, I concede...FB and Myspace are Evil...


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I have a slight dilemma but I don't want to act irrationally.

 

I notice that my ex is no longer checking my Myspace profile or reading my blogs. That's fine. Funny though, because his cousins are. One of his cousins left a positive comment for me yesterday.

 

On the other hand, my ex has been active on FB, which he is not friends with me on (unlike Myspace). He doesn't seem to be dating or anything like that, but he's posting new art/music etc. It kind of threw me for a loop as I haven't really been checking his profiles lately. Just thought I would today, as it's been a while.

 

The feeling I got when I saw the new art was a feeling of slight anger.

It's like "He's happy without me in his life and doesn't want to change it." Life is going on in his world and he no longer shares it with me. It's just so weird that he's so close in proximity and a click away on my mouse yet we can't talk. I mean, literally I guess we could. He didn't say we had NC, but he did imply that he wants to heal and gave no time period for being friends again, if at all (even though he once claimed he wanted to be).

 

Part of me wants to delete him as a friend from Myspace, but the rational part knows it's immature and actually pointless because he doesn't even go on more than once a week anymore. Now he's active on FB which I'm not a part of (he's in my city network, that's why I can see his profile).

 

Please remind me that it's pointless to delete him. Several of my contacts are his family members and I don't feel like losing all of them just because of him. If they saw that I deleted my ex, they'd probably delete ME. So I guess I should just try not to check his FB anymore since that's the only one he's active on anyway.

 

Ugh...

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Delete him. It's not going to send a 'harsh' message to him or his family, and if it does then that's their problem. Bottom line: now is the time to be selfish, as this is obviously stopping YOU healing.

 

As I have mentioned numerous times before, I deleted all my social networking sites the second I learned my ex had a new boyfriend. I simply removed the temptation of looking at them and it was a massive help in my healing as I am the kind of person who loves to torture themselves. Those sites aren't real anyway, they're just an ego tool for people to project their seemingly-perfect lives onto others. Everything everyone writes gets misconstrued, innocent photos are endlessly analysed and I can't tell you how many of my friends have had pointless arguments over such things.

 

F*ck facebook!

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Frankly, when you are focusing on what he is doing / not doing - you are spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on him instead of doing what MAKES YOU HAPPY.

 

The people who are happiest are the ones who lives their lives fully, care about those they love & reach out to them, & let go of the ones who don't. We CANNOT control the actions of others - we can only control ourselves.

 

If you want to be a friend to him & you can without absorbing yourself in his actions/life/etc., then do so. If you can't, then delete his profile from your site. I agree with BrokenHeartUK, in that if his family stops speaking to you or being friends with you because of it, then they weren't true friends anyway. Besides, I really think we believe people are more interested in our lives than they really are.

 

And, living your life wondering about what HE is doing is stunting your growth as a human being. So, figure out what you need to do to be happy. And although it's too late to keep from getting divorced, you may want to read the book or check out the website Divorce Busting. Has A LOT of great tips on getting better for you.

 

God Bless & Take Care!!!

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i dont think deleteing him is the issue.

even if you deleted him, wouldnt you still find a way to check or hear about his profile? wouldnt you still think about checking his myspace? or regreting deleting him?

My point being, isnt the reason you want to delete him, to find another way not to think about him? Because, in my opinion, you'll still be thinking about him...

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if he doesnt go on and you deleted him, he probably wouldn't even notice. if he did, would he care?

 

you don't want to loose all his family members as contacts? why? i think when most people say this...they don't really believe they are going to stay close with the ex's family...but rather want to hang on as a way of hanging onto the relationship.

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I wouldn't delete him - it seems spiteful. If you delete him and he (and/or his family) find out, it just shows that while he's moving on, you're not. Instead, prove that you can move on, too, and do so by not looking at his profiles anymore.

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I wouldn't delete him - it seems spiteful. If you delete him and he (and/or his family) find out, it just shows that while he's moving on, you're not. Instead, prove that you can move on, too, and do so by not looking at his profiles anymore.

 

besides the fact if he doesn't sign on, he probably won't notice she deleted him......who cares what he and his family thinks? screw em'

 

but, that would just be my feelings....

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I think you might feel a moment of triumph deleting him because you're angry, but then nothing.

 

But if it is truly over he is not interested, perhaps it would be better for you to delete him so that you can put this to rest and move on. The best way to do that is to stop checking his FB/MS and work on putting him in the past.

 

You are angry that he is moving on to new things, but that is unfortunately the reality of a breakup. So try to work on acceptance and thinking about new things other than him.

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I don't think you should delete him either, in this case. Look at it this way, if you did, then got frustrated that you can't see what he is doing, you may well be tempted to call or turn up on his doorstep instead. Now THAT would be worse!

 

The best thing to do is just to try not to log-in.

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I am SOOOOO glad I don't have this issue with Myspace. I log in maybe once a week...TOPS. If anyone ever checks my status at least they can see I have a life and don't live through a social networking site....I think THAT would embarrass me more than

anything. lol

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i deleted mine, i did check it sometimes, but the other day on news feeds i saw the relationship status, these are things i can do without knowing. she probably wont noticed i deleted her anyways.

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delete him. or don't use facebook at all.... face-a-book instead!!

 

i have too many mutual friends w/ my ex on my facebook account, so i just disabled my membership all together rather than getting paranoid and getting sucked into stocking everyone's pages to see if there was any 'clue' as to what he's up to.

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