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No matter what happens, I cannot get along with my boyfriend.


shoebaby1

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He annoys me to death?! Even when he is trying to be nice to me he is getting on my nerves. Has anyone ever been through this before? This has been going on for so long its SO FRUSTRATING! My friend told me that just because a guy is nice doesn't mean you are meant to be with him. Now how sad is that?

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Errr.. Yea I have. And I broke it off. We where just dating.

And yea, just b/c he was nice and reallllllllllly into me didn't mean we had to be together. I didn't feel the same and he deserved someone who did.

I broke it off and yea, didn't have great luck in love. Till after a year later.

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Well, I think you are going to have to break up with him. Just be sure you are not going to regret it and suddenly see all the good things you may be overlooking now.

 

But I feel for him - he's probably going to end up posting on here or on a similar website wwith a "the nice guy always loses out" thread and saying he's going to treat his next girlfriend very differently.

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I guess I need to find a way to be happy with him, I need to keep trying I guess. I wish I didn't feel this way.

 

why do you need to KEEP TRYING "find a way to be happy with him?"

either you like him and want to be with him or you don't. and not just b.c you're afraid of being alone.

 

i think if you love someone yes they will get on your nerves but... overall you get along and do it b/c you want to. not b/c you're trying your hardest.

 

maybe you're both spending too much time together?

was it like this before?

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Yes its been like this for a long time and we broke up, We just got back together and now its back the same again, he just annoys me all the time. He doesn't call when he says he will, he is always late when we are supposed to go out. He he doesn't want to move in together or anything. So I'm just sad all the time. He hardly wants to go out with me, he says its a waste of money.

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Yes its been like this for a long time and we broke up, We just got back together and now its back the same again, he just annoys me all the time. He doesn't call when he says he will, he is always late when we are supposed to go out. He he doesn't want to move in together or anything. So I'm just sad all the time. He hardly wants to go out with me, he says its a waste of money.

 

well this is a whole other matter in my opinion.

you're resenting him which is why he annoys you. you want to go out, move in together, speak to him when he says he'll call, etc.

either he changes, you lower your standards or this continues to bug you-resentment/annoyance builds more.

 

 

p.s. i don't get why it's such an issue when a guy doesn't call when he says he will. you guys have been together 5 yrs. why don't you just call him on occasion and let him call you when he has a chance? without "scheduling"

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Its because we just got back together and he says he will call me to tell me when he wants to hang out and then he never calls until the last minute and it makes me feel like he is only calling me when he is bored or seeing me when he is bored. We only see each other when he calls. I tried talking to him about this so many times and he never changes it. I don't know why I'm still with him, I guess I feel like I won't find someone who loves me. Also when he is late I try calling him and he won't answer, then he calls me a long time after and give me an excuse time and time again. Its so frustrating.

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I am gonna be honest and go with: this relationship seems like it's over but you both are just dragging it out. If he's not picking up the phone and having illegitamate excuses... it's a bad sign and I don't think I'd be able to stay in such a relationship.

 

I think I remember your older posts about this relationship though. Vaguely.

 

The way I see it is: the sooner you get out of an unhappy relationship, the sooner the healing begins and the sooner you can put yourself out there to meet someone more compatible.

 

Life's too short to be spent in an unhappy relationship.

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I don't know why I'm still with him, I guess I feel like I won't find someone who loves me.

I'd rather be alone than in a loveless relationship which stresses me out so much. Being in such a dysfunctional relationship is not a good way to live your life. It sucks you under and destroys you (imo).

 

Do yourself a favour and end it once and for all. It seems neither of you are happy, so there really isn't any point in living like this. End it and move on. Find new things to do with your life. Travel. See the world. Meet new people. Take up new hobbies. Do lots of volunteer week - it works wonders for self esteem. There's a lot more to life than living in a miserable relationship.

 

Good luck.

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Being alone isn't terrible. Being alone in a relationship? That's my definition of hell on earth.

 

Why not free yourself to focus on getting healthy, getting past your fears, and then you can let life teach you how much better it can be? The problem with holding onto a bad relationship is that it prevents you from learning. You don't know what your future could look like--so I wouldn't write it off in favor of spending more time in such a lousy unloved state. No matter what your future might look like without him, it's got to be better than this.

 

In your corner.

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Well after reading this whole thread, I can see that he's not such a nice guy after all is he, if he doesnt call when he says he will, doesnt take you out, doesnt want to take it further.

 

You have resentment there because of these things, and past things you have both been through together.

 

Do you think you got back together because you just missed each other, like its been habit for the last 5 years of your life?

 

It takes a long time to get over someone who you've been with for so long.

 

Maybe you should break it off. You do have good reason to. It's no wonder he is annoying you so much, he is actually hurting your feelings and not showing enough caring, rather than being "annoying"

 

If he doesnt change things or try when you tell him they upset you, well what does he expect?

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Its because we just got back together and he says he will call me to tell me when he wants to hang out and then he never calls until the last minute and it makes me feel like he is only calling me when he is bored or seeing me when he is bored. We only see each other when he calls. I tried talking to him about this so many times and he never changes it. I don't know why I'm still with him, I guess I feel like I won't find someone who loves me. Also when he is late I try calling him and he won't answer, then he calls me a long time after and give me an excuse time and time again. Its so frustrating.

 

And while you're with him, you never will.

 

You're blocking being with someone you love by staying with someone who doesn't seem to be in love with you and with whom you aren't in love with.

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I agree that you should leave him if he won't change.

 

But be really sure that he won't change if approached in a different way - and that you won't go back on what you said and regret what you have done.

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Just a different way to think about it. I stopped spending money on my ex and stopped being as reliable because I felt like she resented me. I also didn't like being attacked for not doing these things because the real issue for me was her resentment.

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