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Is there anyone who falls for BF/GF only after dating for long time?


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I'm wondering if most of people fall at the first few months,

or sometimes it takes much longer time dating/living together to realize you start to fall in love?

 

and what's the reason behind this phenomenon?

 

Let's discuss on different experiences.

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Wowww great! I like your style of handling a relationship! you do care and love yourself enough to make the other wait for you! bravo!

 

My rule of thumb is to never make a definete decision about someone

until four complete seasons have passed. OR until you've had at least

a few fights or arguments..because you need to know how they resolve conflict as well as all the GOOD stuff!!!!

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I've always been the type to either fall fast or stay guarded and push away myself ....hot or cold, but I'm really working on understanding and changing myself right now, so I guess I'm curious to know the answer to this one myself.

 

I'm guessing that anything is possible... but what makes you able to stick around so long, live with someone even if you aren't in love?

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I've always been the type to either fall fast or stay guarded and push away myself ....hot or cold, but I'm really working on understanding and changing myself right now, so I guess I'm curious to know the answer to this one myself.

 

I'm guessing that anything is possible... but what makes you able to stick around so long, live with someone even if you aren't in love?

 

Because being "in love" with someone is not always peaches and cream..and it's an ebb and flow feeling. If you expect to feel "in love 24-7 you're in for a rude awakening. REAL love goes from feeling "in love" to why did I do this to GOD I can't live without them, to GOD I COULD KILL THEM....yet you stay because you always HOPE that the next day will be better...then the day after then the day after.............

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Because being "in love" with someone is not always peaches and cream..and it's an ebb and flow feeling. If you expect to feel "in love 24-7 you're in for a rude awakening. REAL love goes from feeling "in love" to why did I do this to GOD I can't live without them, to GOD I COULD KILL THEM....yet you stay because you always HOPE that the next day will be better...then the day after then the day after.............

 

Oh trust me... I get that... I definitely get that.

 

My ex and I (who i did live with) had the "love you want to kill you" tug o war down pact sometimes.

 

I guess what I mean is ... if you never got to the "in love" feeling at all with someone... not ONCE...in your relationship with them, then why continue so long? Why move in? How can you push on and move forward being unsure you will ever reach that point?

 

Slow and steady wins the race?

 

I guess I'm talking about trying to do the exact opposite of the drama.

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For me love takes it's time to grow. There is a poem I first heard when I was 12 years old that really speaks to me and probably describes my current (albeit a little difficult lately) relationship. It's called "Like Two Slant Trees" and goes like this:

 

Like two slant trees

they grew together

their roots the wrong way

for standing alone.

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Because being "in love" with someone is not always peaches and cream..and it's an ebb and flow feeling. If you expect to feel "in love 24-7 you're in for a rude awakening. REAL love goes from feeling "in love" to why did I do this to GOD I can't live without them, to GOD I COULD KILL THEM....yet you stay because you always HOPE that the next day will be better...then the day after then the day after.............

 

 

 

Well said.

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I have fallen in love three times, each time I knew for sure in less then a week. One, the one I'm with now was less then 24 hours. We've been together for coming up on 4 years. I just fall fast and hard. It has worked for me.

 

It would be hard for me to be in a relationship with anyone if I didn't feel like I was in love with them. One of the reasons I didn't date much.

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I have fallen in love three times, each time I knew for sure in less then a week. One, the one I'm with now was less then 24 hours. We've been together for coming up on 4 years. I just fall fast and hard. It has worked for me.

 

It would be hard for me to be in a relationship with anyone if I didn't feel like I was in love with them. One of the reasons I didn't date much.

 

See.... I've been in love twice, and this is why I'm curious about this question too. I fall fairly quick as well (though definitely not AS fast as you, I guess I'm much more reluctant to admit it to myself due to my hot and cold tendencies), but when I know I click with someone, I usually just KNOW, and all other interest in other people just kinda fades and I'm REALLY REALLY into them. Then the LOVE thing happens... and that is that.

 

Though I know this can be scary for the receiving end (definitely was for the last person), so pacing was an issue that probably cost us the whole relationship, even though he was into me as well.

 

So now I'm guarded and scared and really curious about whether love grows over time or not. I've been dating someone for a couple months now who I wouldn't consider serious (though he might view me as potential serious material), and I have no idea if that love feeling will ever evolve. I'd say I'm not at all ready to pull the plug, but I definitely don't feel in love. I just don't understand this relationship stage because I've always been that intense love type of person as well.

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My rule of thumb is to never make a definete decision about someone

until four complete seasons have passed. OR until you've had at least

a few fights or arguments..because you need to know how they resolve conflict as well as all the GOOD stuff!!!!

 

What a brilliant thread, and a brilliant post from Sweet Venus, amongst others!

 

I totally agree with the above.

 

My relationship has been hard getting off the ground, I just cannot relax in relationships, but this is the most normal loving one I've ever been in and I'm telling you I was PETRIFIED of going into it. It took me MONTHS (namely about 3-4) to actually relax and enjoy it. This was a pattern that had been happening and it was detrimental to myself, so I decided to stick with it.

 

Now, at six months, I have felt relaxed, totally in love, sexually excited, angry, sad, frustrated but not once have I felt "uncared about".

 

When my SO and I have an argument, it does not last long, no matter how big it is. We always calm down very quickly and we are both very fair, so we have found out that we are very good at resolving any differences and that makes us stronger every time.

 

Gosh, I have moments when I can't stand him, he annoys the hell out of me sometimes, but I would never be without him.

 

I used to fall fast and hard, but with this one, its taking time, which I see as a good sign. It took me 4 months to feel in love with my current SO.

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