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I'm 31. I've never been in a steady, committed relationship. Well, I've never even called anything I was involved in a "relationship". And it now seems like everywhere I look people are falling in love, getting married, having kids, etc. I feel lost. What's wrong with me? Am I that undateable? I'm attractive. I even took a huge step for me and stopped talking to my best friend, because I was pretty certain that my love for him was standing in the way of me finding a healthy relationship, but I'm not so sure that was keeping me from anything. Now I'm completely lost and confused. I don't have him around anymore, so I feel like I don't have anyone. And now I'm just hiding all of my emotions from everyone that knows me and I feel like I'm likely to explode.

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Theres plenty of women your age that arent married and settled down and are still looking. HAve you ever watched Bridget Jones Diary? I love that film it cheers me up no end.

 

You will have someone. You have to let him go before you can be happy with someone else.

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We need some more information before we can answer you. You could you start breaking down where things go wrong by asking yourself:

 

  • Are you ever attracted to someone?
  • Do you ever fall in love with someone?
  • Do you experience men being attracted to you?
  • Do you flirt with men?
  • Are you comfortable being intimate with someone?
  • Do you think "all men are ...."?
  • Etc.

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It's hard to know "what's wrong with you." I'm 40 and never married. I've had a few boyfriends, a few loves but nothing long-term. I know what's wrong with me. I'm afraid of true intimacy . I latch on to people who can't commit and call it a relationship. I've spent years pining away for men. I could blame them for not being able to commit, but I hand picked each and every one of them for the simple reason that they would never, ever choose me. And it worked. I even thought since I figured this out, I would change, but the last guy was exactly the same. Change is hard.

 

So you need to search your soul and figure out what's going on. You say you are hiding from everyone, are you hiding from yourself? Ask yourself the hard questions, look at the patterns in your life. Only you know the true answer and only you can figure out what you need to do to change — if change is really want you want. If you can't find the answers, maybe a therapist can help.

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