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Do you think he's pissed off at me?


tigerfan88
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What...
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What To Do?

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OK, so my ex and I officially "broke-up" 5 weeks ago. He told me his feelings for me had withered away, and I told him I wanted to work it out. He didn't, but wanted to be friends with me, still. I said OK because I didn't want him to think I was a * * * * * . We had officially dated a few months, but were in this sort of "reconciliation" mode for the past 6 months. So, anyway, I knew the reason why he didn't want to work things out: he had already began dating another woman that a friend had set him up with, and I guess he wanted to see where it would go. Lo and behold, a couple weeks later, a picture of him and the new chick was posted on Facebook. Didn't surprise me in the least, because, even though he denied her existence to me, I overheard his friends talking about her. We, however, continued to exchange friendly messages through Facebook, but haven't seen each other in person in about a month and a half (yes, we broke-up via AIM). So anyway, he dated this girl for, I guess, a few weeks, and things seemed to be going pretty well--he had the pic of her and him up on Facebook as his default pic, he stopped emailing me very often etc.

 

So fast forward to last week. I began dating a new guy (who is quite sweet and a great match for me) and we made it facebook official last week after going on our first two dates a couple weeks back. Over the past few weeks, I was able to let go of the anger and betrayal I felt for the way my ex essentially kept me around until he found someone else, and I was quite happy. I still wanted his friendship, but I chose not to push it, even though a week went by with no contact from him.

 

Well, he finally contacted me again last Thursday, posted a bulletin on MySpace that mentioned our relationship, took down the pic of him and the new girl and deleted all traces of it. My assumption? He probably broke up with her. I responded to his message and said I was sorry for how upset I at first was when he suggested being friends (I still felt hurt and told him "I don't know if that's possible," but I then told him I would try it) and that we both seemed happy now, so it was for the best. No response from him, and from what I've heard, he's been moping around.

 

So my question is, do you think he regrets breaking up with me given his recent actions? Do you think he's pissed off I moved on so quickly? And, do you think I should send him another email and/or call him and ask him what's going on?

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I would be willing to make things work with him, yes, simply because I do still have feelings for him and probably will for a while more. Am I absolutely counting on that happening? No, which is why I've tried to move forward.

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Why do you care?

 

I care because we've been friends for over a year and a half (before we even dated), and if he's hurting right now, I want him to know that I am here if/when he wants to talk about it.

 

And, yes, the new guy knows about the recent break-up. We've been completely honest about things.

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Frankly, if you still had feelings for him you should have waited to date anyone else. You should never try dating just to move on... because now you've involved another person's feelings and if you go back to your Original Boyfriend, you'll be hurting the new guy.

 

I have to ask WHY you're so willing to try things again with your OB after he so casually tossed you away for this new chick. I wouldn't have even tried to be friends with him after a move like that. Doesn't that give you some idea of how he treats relationships and people? I say tough cookies to him for breaking up with this new girl. No, I wouldn't contact him to see if things are okay... if you do that you're just providing him a safety net to fall back on. I say he made his bed, let him sleep in it.

 

And you'd be doing the same thing to your NEW guy if you chase after your OB. This is a case of both of you wanting the cake and eating it, too.

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Thanks for the advice, everyone. However, I find it necessary to clarify a few things:

 

1) We dated for a few months last year, but he broke up with me because there were a couple weeks where we did not see each other much (I was busy). Then a few days later, he wanted to work things out, but I told him I thought we both needed a break, and he said he'd wait for me. We wanted to make it work, but stayed in this limbo phase for 6 months.

2) We were not officially dating each other when he began dating chick #2. We had, however, just spoke about giving things another try between us, and I thought we were both on the same page. I then found out from a coworker (I work with one of his friends) that he was going on a blind date, which is when I told him we needed to talk and he told me he didn't feel the same way anymore (but before he told me this, he told me we could give it a "2-week trial period", which I scoffed at because I knew he was, at the least, potentially dating someone else as well).

 

Let me make something clear: he's not a terrible person, but he has made mistakes. He's actually a pretty sweet, caring individual, and given our previous friendship, I did want to make things work. That is why I'm willing to forgive despite his dating this other chick. Now, given this information, does any of your advice change?

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