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Hey, I'm confused about an extremely shy girl and need some reassurance.

 

Met this shy girl and started chatting over email, AIM and phone. We talked on the phone and had good conversations. I think my humour really helps her shyness.

 

There are other girls right now but she seems to peek my interest the most. I've never met a girl like this before.

 

I call her/text her when I'm free, sometimes after a couple of days. We both have our own lives. Problem is that she NEVER EVER initiates any text messages or phone calls. Is she too shy to initiate? She used to initiate AIM messages but after I started talking to her on the phone, she stopped going on AIM!

 

I mean even if she's not interested in me that way, could she not send a friendly text message once in a blue moon? I can't read her. She's being even more mysterious than me.

 

Despite her lack of reciprocation, I'm going to keep talking to her and ask her out again. That's probably the best way to know. If she rejects then I'll know.

 

It's like I have to be friends with her first before I go out with her. Which really wasn't the case with my other girlfriends.

 

I really want to know how the shy girl's mind works in general. I need a better understanding. Any shy girls out there willing to help/comment?

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I think it's a good idea that you want to go ahead and ask her out again, you might as well find out directly instead of beating around the bush! I'm shy around guys as well, and I feel like I'm a lot like this girl myself, as I tend to want to get to know the guy/befriend him before taking it further. I also like that 'courting' phase to be a little bit longer, because that way I know a guy is really into me and not just looking for a fling. Also, it just takes me longer to feel comfortable around a guy who's interested in me, it's sort of a reassurance that I can see myself with the guy as a friend, plus more. This is all just me though, but it could be the same for her.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about the AIM thing... since she's gotten to know you better, she probably has become more comfortable talking to you through other means (ie in person, on the phone, etc) and prefers that instead. I also have a tendency to not initiate calls with a guy - but it's not that I didn't want to talk to him! I think it'd be okay if you nudge her a little bit, and say 'feel free to call me anytime,' or 'I'd love to hear from you this weekend.'

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To me if they never initiate then they don’t appreciate. If someone is interested they should be willing to strike up the convo with you once in a while.

 

If a girl never initiates convos with me then I start to look at her as being polite rather than interested. She speaks to me out of politeness. That usually means I end up giving up.

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