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need more friends in my life: mid 40s guy...affable enough, too...suggestions?


canali
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Just coming out of a 2 yr gig and am wanting to expand my social circle...most of my friends and family are back east which sucks (esp for upcoming birthday this weekend)...aside from link removed and taking courses having my business cards on me any suggestions?...I'm affable enough in terms of being social and a good conversationalist...but increasing my circle is a tough one...and realize how vital it is in my life.

 

I am trying to get out there more and just join some clubs i'm interested in, ie mtn biking etc so hope to find like minded people with common interests.

 

problem for me is that i've largely been too independent many times in the past so didn't reach out and invest socially as I might have.

 

ideas?

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I just started attending charity wine tastings and also poker night with coworkers - I don't play but I'm learning. That has helped a bit. I'm also tapping into the folks on my Linked In contact list and trying to set up time with folks I don't see anymore for coffee or whathave you. Lstly I'm planning to try and pick up a hobby I've let slide in hope of meeting more people that way.

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Join the club. Hell, I'm only 26 and feel like a dern hermit. The bitter side of me wants to blame the status-quo sampling I constantly deal with in my college area comprised of people seeking the party life, alcohol, whatever. But the down-to-earth side of me believes that there is something about me I have yet to either acknowledge or become aware of that truly causes most of my social issues and tension.

 

As for you, I would suggest things such as whatever relates to your persona. If you're someone who prefers the bar stuff like drinking, dancing, whatever, then go for that and simply put yourself out there. Yes, you're forty, but so what... It doesn't matter in today's world where anything goes.

 

If, though, you're more like my type of person who prefers the coffee crap and book worm wife, then hit up the library or something of equal contrast. Do it everyday, and sooner or later, you'll begin to develop gradual relationships with people because they'll begin to remember you and place the name with the face. It takes awhile, but it does happen.

 

In the end, I feel for ya. It's so rough sometimes waking up each day and doing the same things you did the day prior, but by yourself all the time. I'm trying to figure out how to tackle the same issues at the moment, so just remember that you're not alone.

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